- Tony Harrison: I've got it Saboo! An idea is formulating!
- Saboo: What?
- Tony Harrison: Fleetwood Mac's "Tusk," in its entirety!
- Saboo: Are you insane? There's at most... one track I can get away with off maybe... "Rumours."
- Tony Harrison: Come on! "Tusk," in its entirety, with the pauses as Lindsay Buckingham intended! Watch the room crumble at the aura of the H-Man!
- Saboo: Why not just give me a .44 so I can spray my brains across the decks?
- Tony Harrison: What is your beef with the Mac?
- Saboo: The same beef every right thinking man has, they are bullshit munchers!
- Tony Harrison: Feel my multi-hexagonal-textured-alien-barbed penis inside you!
- Decapitated Lester Corncrake: I don't like it!
- Tony Harrison: [Dennis has just decapitated Lester Corncake] Dennis, you dinlo, what the fuck are you doing? You just killed the wrong geezer!
- Saboo: You flipping truncheon!
- Thug #1: Oy, you, Bighead, come over 'ere.
- Dennis: [to his wife] I've got to go now, bye.
- Thug #1: Yo, lemme up, homes, I know your sista.
- Dennis: Yes, I do not have a sister.
- Thug #1: Don't back-chat me, Bighead, or I'll bust you up.
- Dennis: This "Bighead" business - I don't understand. I actually have a relatively small head for a man of my stature.
- Thug #1: I like your hat, man. Come'n let my mate Ricky borrow it, 'cause he likes it.
- Dennis: This would not suit Ricky.
- Thug #1: Thing about Ricky is hats do suit him. He's got one of those faces.
- Dennis: That may be so, but it is forbidden for a mortal peasant to touch the garments of a shaman.
- Thug #1: [to Thug #3] Wixy, bust out the knife! Jab up this joker!
- Dennis: Ah! Swordplay!
- Dennis: [stabs thugs]
- Dennis: Onward, to Oddbins!
- Tony Harrison: [Saboo and Tony Harrison are DJing] I've got it, Saboo! A concept is formulating! Fleetwood Mac's "Tusk" in its entirety!
- Saboo: [groans]
- Tony Harrison: Watch the room crumble at the awe of the H-man.
- Saboo: Are you insane? That's the most one-track I could get away with off... maybe, "Rumors".
- Tony Harrison: Oh, come of it. "Tusk", in its entirety, with the pauses, as Lindsey Buckingham intended it to be heard.
- Saboo: Yeah, why don't you just give me a .44 so I can spray my brains on the decks?
- Tony Harrison: What is your beef with the Mac?
- Saboo: The same beef every right-thinking man has: they are bullshit-munchers.
- Tony Harrison: When are you gonna start thinking outside the box?
- Saboo: The box is there for a reason; to keep ball-men like you inside it.
- Tony Harrison: You are so square! What do you want to lay down?
- Saboo: I would like to play "Would I Lie to You" by Charles and Eddie.
- Tony Harrison: Ahhhhh... all right, fair enough. Good choice. Slam it down.
- Dennis: [before decapitating Lester Corncake, thinking him to be Vince] Aha! Prepare to die, you prancing tit!
- Vince Noir: [Howard has just revealed that he is a virgin] Come on, Howard. It doesn't matter that you're a virgin. It's fine. Women respect that. They don't mind that you've not gone beyond the kiss.
- Howard Moon: [looks away]
- Vince Noir: You've never kissed anyone, have you?
- Howard Moon: So?
- Vince Noir: Have you ever held anyone's hand?
- Howard Moon: I don't like people touching me. Besides, I've had deeper relationships in my mind, at a distance, than you'll ever have in your lifetime, you know that.
- Vince Noir: Are you talking about the incident with the binoculars?
- Howard Moon: That was never proved.
- Vince Noir: It was in The Guardian.