Skipper: Maurice thinks he can bribe us with his piñata promises. Pity for him, penguins are not for sale. Right, men?
Private: I wonder what's in that piñata? I bet it's full of butterscotch lollies and sour balls.
Kowalski: I'd say we're looking at a 50/50 mix of gummy fish and candy buttons.
Rico: Yay, buttons!
Skipper: We may never know, because today we are performing scheduled maintenance on the HQ.
Kowalski: Perhaps we can reschedule?
Skipper: We can't just reschedule scheduled maintenance that's been scheduled, right here on the schedule.
Maurice: Look, you don't understand how important this is. You want King Julien to be happy on his day. One time everyone forgot about King Julien Day, and let me tell you...
King Julien: [Flashback] Which forgetter is next for the whooping? Come on, I want you to hurt like I do! Ha-ha-ha-ha!
Maurice: Oh, I couldn't sit right for a week. Trust me, you do not want him to freak on you!
King Julien: It is time to celebrate me and the many moods of me. Today, festive me.
King Julien: Now I shall make you all feel inferior, which is proper.
King Julien: In a few hours, we celebrate the biggest holiday of the year.
Marlene: Christmas in July! Except it's not Christmas... and it's not July.
King Julien: See how playfully they tease me, Maurice.
Mort: Please, King Julien Day is my most favorite holiday in the whole wide world. I love it this much!
Kowalski: That's a whole lot of love in relation to body mass.
King Julien: Up next, the King Julien Day traditional tossing of the fruit.
Private: Tossing of the fruit?
Marlene: Tossing it where, exactly?
[Marlene gets a melon to the face]
Maurice: At you, exactly.
King Julien: Because what is a party without cake? I guess it would still be a party, but it would feel like something is missing. Something cakey.
Skipper: All right, so why are we here?
Kowalski: Ah, yes. The question that has vexed common man and philosopher alike.
Kowalski: That's not what you were going for, is it?
Mason: [interpreting for Phil] Pineapple upside-down cake, glazed with brown booger.
Mason: My mistake. Brown sugar.
King Julien: Eh... just in case, next!