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"The Penguins of Madagascar" Misfortune Cookie/Lemur See, Lemur Do (TV Episode 2009) Poster

Quotes

King Julien: Take note, Maurice. Tonight, chow mein is my main chow.

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King Julien: Maurice! Mort!

Maurice: Is there something wrong, your majesty?

King Julien: Yes! Why didn't you tell me it was my birthday?

Maurice: Yeah, it's not your birthday.

King Julien: Of course it is. Otherwise why would you get me this ginormous present?

Maurice: We didn't give you a present.

Mort: I did.

Maurice: No, you didn't!

Mort: No, I did!... I didn't.

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Skipper: [Groaning] General Tso and his shrimp beat me tonight. Oh, well played, General.

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Kowalski: When did you get a robot?

King Julien: Oh, do not be pretending, because I know it was you that sent this machine to mock me. Quit it!

Skipper: Well, Ringtail, we are working on a mocking you scenario.

Kowalski: Operation: Mock Julien.

Skipper: But it's still in the lab. It's still at Mach 2. We like to get to Mach 8 before implementation.

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Mason: [Reading fortune cookie] You are careful and considerate.

Kowalski: After careful consideration, I concur with the cookie.

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King Julien: You want me to play hide and seek with Lemmy?

Mort: Uh-huh. Is good idea. You like?

King Julien: I like. I can show you my seeking technique and also my counting technique. I invented a few new numbers I think you will like.

[Covers eyes]

King Julien: One, twolien, three-four-five-six-seven-eight-nine-ten, meleven...

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Kowalski: Fortunes are mere superstitions.

King Julien: Yes, these stitions are super, and that is why you must listen to them! This is a curse. Your friend has been given a misfortune cookie!

Private: A what?

King Julien: A misfortune cookie. It is like a regular fortune cookie, except it is filled with hate, and bile!... and sugar... and evil!

Private: Oh! That doesn't sound good. Except for the sugar part.

King Julien: You need the sugar, or the bile will overwhelm the flavor.

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Skipper: Kowalski, report.

Kowalski: The robot...

Rico: Boom.

King Julien: Aaaagh! What - what has been done by you to my poor Lemmy?

Kowalski: Well, we... It was an accident.

Private: We didn't mean to blow him up.

Rico: Kablamo!

King Julien: He was the only robot I was ever loving.

Skipper: We're sorry, Ringtail. We just knew what was best.

Rico: Kablamo!

King Julien: Kablowing him up was the best?

Rico: Kablamo!

Skipper: Okay, we said we knew what was best. We just didn't do what was best.

[Julien leaves, crestfallen]

Rico: [Sadly] Kablamo.

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Skipper: Don't play dumb with me, ringtail!

King Julien: Who says I am playing?

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Private: Skipper, I feel bad about this.

Skipper: Same here, young Private.

Kowalski: It's as if there's a deep, dark abyss in the center of your soul, and all that is light and good in the world is slipping into it.

Rico: Yup.

Kowalski: This must be what it feels like when you've done the wrong thing.

Private: We've never done the wrong thing before. I don't like it.

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Marlene: [collecting coins from the fountain] I've got one dollar and seventeen cents.

Rico: [Barfs up a whole lot of coins] Ta-da!

Marlene: And Rico got the rest, which is both impressive and gross.

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Skipper: This is madness. Utter madness! That robot has to be decisive, forceful, able to take down an armed space squid from 50 yards.

Private: Right.

Skipper: You can't boogie your way out of a Martian invasion. Those space squids play for keeps.

Private: But what can we do about it?

Skipper: We need to extract that robot away from Julien's sick schooling, and teach him the penguin way.

Kowalski: Yes! We are getting a robot!

Skipper: Affirmative.

Private: But how do we get the robot away from Julien?

Mort: [Steps out of the shadows, speaks in onminous tone] Leave that to me.

Skipper: Um... okay.

Mort: [Cheerful] Really?

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Kowalski: Ah, here we go! We can replace Rico's brain with a wombat's!

Skipper: How would that help?

Kowalski: [Holds brain in a jar] I don't know, but I've got to do something with this.

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Maurice: Your majesty, this isn't healthy. You need to shake this off.

King Julien: What's the use? I shall never be shaking this or even my booty ever again.

Mort: Foot hugging time! Yay!

[Hugs Julien's feet]

Maurice: Look at Mort hugging your feet! Doesn't that make you crazy? Doesn't that make you want to do something? Anything?

King Julien: It's not the same without my Lemmy.

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Skipper: Rico, get a hold of yourself. Fortunes don't mean anything.

Private: But Skipper, yours did.

Skipper: That's called the exception that proves the rule.

Private: And mine.

Skipper: The other exception that...

Private: And Kowalski's

Skipper: All right, they were exceptional cookies! That still doesn't mean anything.

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Skipper: Guys, we've just made a very spoiled, very obnoxious lemur very happy.

Private: And that's a good thing... innit?

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King Julien: How dare you accusing me of such outrageousness, like a snake!

Maurice: Yo, we got a snake to bit Rico! This'll convince those pen...

[Sees Skipper]

Maurice: Oh, well, forget it.

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Marlene: You want your fortune read, Rico?

[Rico spits out his fortune and gives it to Mason; Phil reads it and signs something]

Mason: Egad, are you sure you're reading that correctly?

Marlene: What's it say?

Mason: Uh... your smiles are like rays of sunshine, warm and inviting. My, look at the time, we must dash.

Skipper: Hold on, chimp! I smell monkey business.

Mason: You do?

Skipper: Yeah, I do. Rico, smile.

[Rico smiles]

Skipper: That is not a warm and inviting smile.

Kowalski: More like creepy and unsettling.

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King Julien: Maurice, I worry about those penguins. What could make them believe in curses?

Maurice: Short of that penguin meeting a foul end, nothing.

King Julien: Aha, but what if we made Freako...

Maurice: Rico.

King Julien: ...Rico meet a foul end? That would make them believe.

Maurice: Probably, but it wouldn't be a curse.

King Julien: Wouldn't it, Maurice? Are you sure?

Maurice: Yeah, I'm pretty sure.

King Julien: And I'm pretty not. No, no, wait! I'm pretty. Very, very pretty. So pretty! Mort, tell me I am pretty.

Mort: You are pretty.

King Julien: Thank you. See, Maurice? Mort agrees with me. Case closed.

Maurice: All right. What did you have in mind?

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King Julien: Come closer! Closer! A little more closer! Wait, okay, that's too close. Take a step back, a little half step. Right there.

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Mason: I say, would you like Phil and I to read your fortune?

Skipper: Knock yourself out.

Mason: [Interpreting for Phil as he signs what the fortune says] Your decisive skills make you a natural born leader.

Skipper: That's nice, but what does the cookie say?

Mason: That is what it says.

Skipper: Oh. That is one perceptive cookie.

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King Julien: Look how it mocks me in silence! It's like a mini mime!

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King Julien: I will teach you everything about being a lemur king: the bossing, the bragging, but most of all, the boogieing!

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King Julien: You still have many important things to learn, such as... the Mambo! The Moonwalk! The Egyptian! The Electric Noodle! The Robot! No, more jerky, you know, like a robot. I would think that would be easy for you.

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See also

Trivia | Goofs | Crazy Credits | Alternate Versions | Connections | Soundtracks

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