King Julien: Take note, Maurice. Tonight, chow mein is my main chow.
King Julien: Maurice! Mort!
Maurice: Is there something wrong, your majesty?
King Julien: Yes! Why didn't you tell me it was my birthday?
Maurice: Yeah, it's not your birthday.
King Julien: Of course it is. Otherwise why would you get me this ginormous present?
Maurice: We didn't give you a present.
Mort: I did.
Maurice: No, you didn't!
Mort: No, I did!... I didn't.
Skipper: [Groaning] General Tso and his shrimp beat me tonight. Oh, well played, General.
Kowalski: When did you get a robot?
King Julien: Oh, do not be pretending, because I know it was you that sent this machine to mock me. Quit it!
Skipper: Well, Ringtail, we are working on a mocking you scenario.
Kowalski: Operation: Mock Julien.
Skipper: But it's still in the lab. It's still at Mach 2. We like to get to Mach 8 before implementation.
Mason: [Reading fortune cookie] You are careful and considerate.
Kowalski: After careful consideration, I concur with the cookie.
King Julien: You want me to play hide and seek with Lemmy?
Mort: Uh-huh. Is good idea. You like?
King Julien: I like. I can show you my seeking technique and also my counting technique. I invented a few new numbers I think you will like.
King Julien: One, twolien, three-four-five-six-seven-eight-nine-ten, meleven...
Kowalski: Fortunes are mere superstitions.
King Julien: Yes, these stitions are super, and that is why you must listen to them! This is a curse. Your friend has been given a misfortune cookie!
Private: A what?
King Julien: A misfortune cookie. It is like a regular fortune cookie, except it is filled with hate, and bile!... and sugar... and evil!
Private: Oh! That doesn't sound good. Except for the sugar part.
King Julien: You need the sugar, or the bile will overwhelm the flavor.
Skipper: Kowalski, report.
Kowalski: The robot...
King Julien: Aaaagh! What - what has been done by you to my poor Lemmy?
Kowalski: Well, we... It was an accident.
Private: We didn't mean to blow him up.
King Julien: He was the only robot I was ever loving.
Skipper: We're sorry, Ringtail. We just knew what was best.
King Julien: Kablowing him up was the best?
Skipper: Okay, we said we knew what was best. We just didn't do what was best.
[Julien leaves, crestfallen]
Rico: [Sadly] Kablamo.
Private: Skipper, I feel bad about this.
Skipper: Same here, young Private.
Kowalski: It's as if there's a deep, dark abyss in the center of your soul, and all that is light and good in the world is slipping into it.
Kowalski: This must be what it feels like when you've done the wrong thing.
Private: We've never done the wrong thing before. I don't like it.
Marlene: [collecting coins from the fountain] I've got one dollar and seventeen cents.
Rico: [Barfs up a whole lot of coins] Ta-da!
Marlene: And Rico got the rest, which is both impressive and gross.
Skipper: This is madness. Utter madness! That robot has to be decisive, forceful, able to take down an armed space squid from 50 yards.
Skipper: You can't boogie your way out of a Martian invasion. Those space squids play for keeps.
Private: But what can we do about it?
Skipper: We need to extract that robot away from Julien's sick schooling, and teach him the penguin way.
Kowalski: Yes! We are getting a robot!
Private: But how do we get the robot away from Julien?
Mort: [Steps out of the shadows, speaks in onminous tone] Leave that to me.
Skipper: Um... okay.
Mort: [Cheerful] Really?
Kowalski: Ah, here we go! We can replace Rico's brain with a wombat's!
Skipper: How would that help?
Kowalski: [Holds brain in a jar] I don't know, but I've got to do something with this.
Maurice: Your majesty, this isn't healthy. You need to shake this off.
King Julien: What's the use? I shall never be shaking this or even my booty ever again.
Mort: Foot hugging time! Yay!
[Hugs Julien's feet]
Maurice: Look at Mort hugging your feet! Doesn't that make you crazy? Doesn't that make you want to do something? Anything?
King Julien: It's not the same without my Lemmy.
Skipper: Rico, get a hold of yourself. Fortunes don't mean anything.
Private: But Skipper, yours did.
Skipper: That's called the exception that proves the rule.
Private: And mine.
Skipper: The other exception that...
Private: And Kowalski's
Skipper: All right, they were exceptional cookies! That still doesn't mean anything.
Skipper: Guys, we've just made a very spoiled, very obnoxious lemur very happy.
Private: And that's a good thing... innit?
King Julien: How dare you accusing me of such outrageousness, like a snake!
Maurice: Yo, we got a snake to bit Rico! This'll convince those pen...
Maurice: Oh, well, forget it.
Marlene: You want your fortune read, Rico?
[Rico spits out his fortune and gives it to Mason; Phil reads it and signs something]
Mason: Egad, are you sure you're reading that correctly?
Marlene: What's it say?
Mason: Uh... your smiles are like rays of sunshine, warm and inviting. My, look at the time, we must dash.
Skipper: Hold on, chimp! I smell monkey business.
Mason: You do?
Skipper: Yeah, I do. Rico, smile.
Skipper: That is not a warm and inviting smile.
Kowalski: More like creepy and unsettling.
King Julien: Maurice, I worry about those penguins. What could make them believe in curses?
Maurice: Short of that penguin meeting a foul end, nothing.
King Julien: Aha, but what if we made Freako...
King Julien: ...Rico meet a foul end? That would make them believe.
Maurice: Probably, but it wouldn't be a curse.
King Julien: Wouldn't it, Maurice? Are you sure?
Maurice: Yeah, I'm pretty sure.
King Julien: And I'm pretty not. No, no, wait! I'm pretty. Very, very pretty. So pretty! Mort, tell me I am pretty.
Mort: You are pretty.
King Julien: Thank you. See, Maurice? Mort agrees with me. Case closed.
Maurice: All right. What did you have in mind?
King Julien: Come closer! Closer! A little more closer! Wait, okay, that's too close. Take a step back, a little half step. Right there.
Mason: I say, would you like Phil and I to read your fortune?
Skipper: Knock yourself out.
Mason: [Interpreting for Phil as he signs what the fortune says] Your decisive skills make you a natural born leader.
Skipper: That's nice, but what does the cookie say?
Mason: That is what it says.
Skipper: Oh. That is one perceptive cookie.
King Julien: Look how it mocks me in silence! It's like a mini mime!
King Julien: I will teach you everything about being a lemur king: the bossing, the bragging, but most of all, the boogieing!