King Julien: [Throwing away fruit] Boring. Don't like. Don't want. Don't care. Used to like but not any more. Pass. Wait! Was that a mango. So sweet and tangy and juicy and sweet. Did I say sweet twice? Doesn't matter. A mango can be sweety sweet.
Skipper: Kowalski, just what are we looking at here?
Kowalski: Isn't it obvious?
Private: Looks like a regular old fish to me.
Kowalski: That's because it is.
[Private turns to Rico, who shrugs "I don't know"]
Skipper: Fantastic. Uh, thanks for clearing that up, Kowalski. Meeting adjourned.
Kowalski: No, wait! It's a regular fish now, but when I zap it with my super ray, it will be a super fish. When we eat the super fish, we will get stronger bones, denser muscle mass, and best of all, remarkably shiny feathers.
Skipper: Aces, Kowalski! And here I thought you'd finally cracked.
Skipper: Keep an eye on him. I think he's finally cracked.
Marlene: Here's a little something I try to keep close to my heart. Try to look for the best in people, because you'll always find it.
Skipper: That's cute and naive, Marlene. Manfredi and Johnson were cute and naive - well, Manfredi was the cute one - 'till the little Nairobi surprise party.
Skipper: Kowalski tell me you've got that antidote figured out.
Kowalski: Yeah, I... got nothing. No matter what I do, the formula's molecular structure fails to achieve low-energy orbitals.
Private: [tastes the antidote] Hmm, tart. Have you tried adding sugar?
Kowalski: Private, please. This is an intricate problem that requires that...
[gasps in realization]
Kowalski: Sugar! Of course! That's the answer! The monosaccaride will stablelize the entire solution!
Skipper: [high-ones Private] Good work, Private.
Private: Yes, well, I thought it needed the monostereo... thing.
Skipper: Stay alert, men. We might not be dealing with 115.384 otters at all. We could be dealing with one enormous mutated 1,500-pound otter.
Kowalski: Or we could be dealing with six fairly large, semi-mutated 250-pound otters.
Private: Or 1,500 tiny one-pound otters. Right, Skipper?
Skipper: I like where your head's at, Private.
Marlene: Yeah, it's so not an otter.
Skipper: Is it because of how horribly mutated it is?
Marlene: What? No! Because it's a walrus.
Kowalski: For the record, is this walrus mutated in any way?
Skipper: What you lemurs do with your feet is your own business. But when you terrorize the entire zoo, it becomes ours.
Private: Um, Skipper, seeing as we turned Mort into the threat, isn't it already our problem?
Skipper: Not now, Private.
Marlene: Is that my hairbrush?
Rhonda: Oh, is this yours? Here, I'm done with it anyway. Just be sure to clean it before you give it back.
Marlene: Give it back? But it's my hairbrush.
Rhonda: [sternly] That's what I said. Just be sure to clean it before you give it back. Okay?
Skipper: Kowalski, options.
Kowalski: Only one, Skipper. Close your eyes so you don't see it coming.
Marlene: Don't you guys ever knock?
Kowalski: Skipper thought you should see this.
Private: The zoo transfer papers.
Kowalski: According to this, your interloper - er, roommate - arrived in port this morning, on a class-F freigher.
Private: A class-F freigher is for animals weighing 1,500 pounds or more.
Kowalski: If the average otter weighs 13 pounds, that means exactly 115.384 otters are headed this way.
Marlene: Hi, I'm Marlene. You must be...
[swats at Marlene]
Rhonda: Disgusting creature! Go away! Shoo!
Marlene: Wait! I'm not a rat!
Rhonda: Really? Because with that face, you must get mistaken for a rat all the time.
Bada: Yo, Bing.
Bing: Yeah, Bada?
Bada: We got us a trespasser.
Bing: No. We got us a thief. You know what we do to thieves around here?
Mort: Kissies and huggies?
Bada: Nope. Thieves get bounced.
[Bounces Mort out of the gorilla habitat]
King Julien: ...And that is when I decided to dedicate my life to the most importantest thing in all of the life, me. Are you getting all this?
Maurice: [drawing a picture of Julien with steam coming out of his ears] Huh? Oh, yeah. I got it. I got it all.
King Julien: Okay. Chapter two...
Mort: I'm normal me again... And I like me!
King Julien: Yes, and I hope you learned a lesson of value. Being a bully is no good.
Maurice: Wait a minute! You used Mort to bully everyone else!
King Julien: Maurice, we don't play the blame game here.
[King Julien looks up and notices the giant Private glaring at him]
King Julien: All of the blame is mine! Just don't sit upon me!
Joey: Why do you lot want my hay? You blokes don't even eat the stuff.
King Julien: No, but there's something else I like to do with it.
[Makes macramé Julien out of a blade of hay]
King Julien: Make macra-mes.
King Julien: That was a great idea I just had. I must compliment my brain. Good idea, brain. Thanks, I think it was nice that you had an idea that you didn't pull out of your booty. Hey, do not speak ill of the booty! Oh, booty, booty, booty! Shut up about the booty! You shut up about the shutting up! Fine, then I am not talking to you! And I am not talking to you! Stupid brain.
Mort: Gimme banana!
King Julien: Maurice, do something!
Maurice: Like give him a banana?
King Julien: Don't be ridiculous, Maurice.
Skipper: Well, I guess she wasn't a spy after all.
Kowalski: Marlene, have you seen my invention anywhere?
Marlene: It's right over... that is it was... lying right over... there?
[Cut to Rhonda in the crate, holding Kowalski's invention and speaking into a walkie-talkie]
Rhonda: [British accent] This is Agent 12 calling Dr. Blowhole with a priority one coded alert. Take me out to the ball game. Repeat, take me out to the ball game. Agent 12 out.