Skipper: This is just a routine visit to the doctor. Turn and cough, boys. Turn and cough.
Private: Skipper, something's wrong with the sun.
Skipper: He finally did it!
Private: Who did what?
Skipper: My mad dolphin nemesis, Dr. Blowhole! He blew out the sun!
Kowalski: Actually, according to my calculations, it is the rare cosmic event known as a solar eclipse.
Skipper: Are you sure it's not the crazed handiwork of my marine mammal foe?
Kowalski: It's totally natural. The moon is between the sun and the Earth... Ooh, it's a total eclipse! Wow! Are you as totally stoked about this as I am?
Skipper: Kowalski, options.
Kowalski: We'll need a diversion. I suggest releasing the spider monkeys. Bedlam is their middle name.
Skipper: They never disappoint.
Kowalski: Amid the chaos, we escape through the south entrance.
Skipper: Good. And then?
Kowalski: Then, we get jobs as holiday store displays. When we've earned enough money, we build a new secret lair, one with laser beams.
Private: Ooh, laser beams!
King Julien: You, you are the nicest guy around here. Make me be nice! I command you!
Private: That wasn't very nice.
King Julien: And you are failing already!
Kowalski: The point is, fear of medical professionals is completely unwarranted. Yes, the benefits to one's health and personal well being are much too important...
Alice: Looks like you penguins are due for a visit to the dentist.
Kowalski: The dentist? Aaaaah!
Private: But we don't have teeth.
Skipper: Gentlemen, had this had been an actual tennis ball machine uprising, we would've lost. Game, set, match.
Private: I don't mean to be cheeky, but why'd the doctor have to give the shots in the bum?
Kowalski: Our fleshy buttocks make ideal distribution points for injected medicines. Ugh! Unfortunately.
Skipper: Sounds like the sky spirits are sending you a message.
King Julien: But I am being extra crazy nice.
Skipper: New York sky spirits are fickle pickles.
Mason: Phil, I don't know how to break this to you: There is no checkmate in checkers.
[Phil signs angrily]
Mason: [gasps] You groom your mother with those hands!
Kowalski: Skipper, I have what you're looking for.
Skipper: Outstanding! So when's the next big eclipse?
Kowalski: From today, 27 years, in Brazil.
Private: Ooh, I've always wanted to go to Carnaval.
Private: Skipper, what are you doing here?
Skipper: Saving you from saving me.
Private: But really, I don't mind having another shot. I can always... turn the other cheek. He-he!
Skipper: You'll mind if it makes you sick. Or worse.
Private: How worse?
Skipper: You know, the chimps didn't say. I assumed you'll grow a second head or something.
Private: I don't want a second head!
Skipper: Then hurry, man! The doc will be here any second.
[Skipper tosses Private towards the window, but misses and he hits the wall; Private then climbs up to the window and turns to Skipper]
Private: You know, Skipper, none of us think any less of you for being afraid.
Skipper: Well, I do. That fear almost hurt a friend. Now get out of here, soldier.
Mason: King Julien, you are truly inspiring.
King Julien: I know, it is from the dancing.
Mason: Yes, well we were just talking to the sky spirits...
King Julien: Word up. The sky spirits love me. Peace out, sky spirits! Uh, wait, wait, wait. Conversing?
Mason: Yes. Phil translates, actually.
Mason: [to Phil] Begin countdown.
Mason: [back to Juilien] And they are about to send you a message... right... about... now!
King Julien: Just waiting for you to roll over so I can fluff up your pillow.
Skipper: Not necessary.
King Julien: It is okay, I'm prepared to wait all night.
Skipper: I like a hard pillow.
King Julien: Oh, I could be your pillow. My bottom is very soft and plushy, you know.
Private: I'm sorry, Skipper.
Skipper: Don't be sorry, Private. Be alert. You never know when our enemies will strike...
[Suddenly, cages drop on the penguins]
Skipper: What the ham steak?
Private: Um, Skipper, is this still part of the drill?
Skipper: [as Kowalski goes to get his shot] Be strong, Kowalski.
Kowalski: [Gets his shot] Good Galileo Galile-EEEEEEEEEE!
Skipper: The man's a butcher.
Mason: Ah, Sunday morning.
King Julien: Sunday morning? Uh-uh, no! It is still Saturday night, baby! The sky spirits told me.
Mason: Sky spirits?
King Julien: Yes. They give me signs because I am the king. See that cloud up there? It says to me "party with the pansies."
Mason: Chim-panzees, and we were enjoing a quiet morning, if you don't mind.
King Julien: Oh, I do mind, mister. That cloud up there says party time, so it's time to party, mister. Mort, crank up that conga rhythm!
Mason: Oh, please, not conga.
King Julien: [singing] I am the Conga King / Doing the conga thing / Tail up and tail down / Grab my bottom and sing! / Let's all go conga-ga! / More fun in conga-ga! / You can't stop conga-ga! / Grab my bottom and sing!
Kowalski: There is no reason to fear the doctor.
Private: Except for his needle, and its slow burn of pain that...
[Kowalski glares at Private]
Private: ... that's not as bad as it seems.