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"The Penguins of Madagascar" Tangled in the Web (TV Episode 2009) Poster

Quotes

King Julien: I want to watch animals on the computer. Well, I want to watch me on the computer, you know. Eh, what is a computer?

Mort: I like computers!

King Julien: So you know?

Mort: No, but I don't have to know... to like!

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Marlene: A computer is a machine the people use to avoid work, mainly by watching silly little videos.

Maurice: You're saying those cameras are there so the whole world can watch us?

Skipper: Like hawks!

Kowalski: Except for the swooping down and devouring us part.

Private: Hopefully.

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King Julien: Tell me more about this "People want to watch me" thing.

Marlene: They get on the internet and vote for their favorite animal. You know, back in my old aquarium, I was voted most popular three years in a row.

King Julien: Which is not interesting to me because it is not about me. See how that works?

Marlene: Maybe you didn't hear me.

[Pulls out three trophies]

Marlene: Three-time national internet popularity champion right here!

King Julien: [Seeing his reflection on one of the trophies] Ooh, I can see me, but wider. I would very much like to have it!

Marlene: Since I'm no longer in competition - scandal, long story - I can help you, if you want.

King Julien: Silly otter. I do not need this thing called help.

Marlene: Mmm, okay. If you change your mind, you know where to find me.

King Julien: Yes, yes, but I don't change my mind. I have people for that.

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King Julien: I can feel my interweb popularity skyrocketing!

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King Julien: Marlene, what are you doing here?

Marlene: I live here?

King Julien: Really? Who knew? I didn't.

Marlene: Julien, you never visit. You must really be stinking up the internet.

King Julien: Yes... I mean, no! I could not be more popularlest. Everybody is loving the king that is me.

Marlene: Okay, I'll let you get back to that.

King Julien: Yes, I guess I really should... They hate me! They hate me! I must have the shiny trophy, and that roly-poly penguin is hogging all the glory that should be the king's! Help me! Please, please! I'll say it one more time, Please!

Marlene: Okay, since you are pathetically begging.

King Julien: I'm not sure I would say pathetic.

Marlene: I would.

King Julien: All right, it's just a word. Help me now.

Marlene: Okay, here's what I see. Lights, music, artsy hats, a performance that'll knock'em dead!

King Julien: Yes! And if they're dead, they can't vote for that ridiculous penguin.

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Skipper: Kowalski, recon. What do you see?

Kowalski: [Seeing through binoculars] Not sure. The enemy must have some sort of cloaking device.

Skipper: [Removes lenscap from binoculars] How about now?

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Skipper: We don't have much time. Kowalski, counterspying scenario, si'l vous plait.

[Kowalski draws up a plan and shows it to Skipper]

Skipper: Outstanding!

[camera moves]

Skipper: Blast! The enemy saw it. Better think up another plan.

[Kowalski draws another plan]

Skipper: Oh, even better than the first one!

[Camera moves]

Skipper: Blast! The enemy saw this one too.

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Skipper: This madness ends now!

Private: Hello, Skipper. Care for a bite?

Skipper: We're busting you out, Private.

Private: Oh, I don't think that's possible, Skipper. Between the slipping and the falling I'm booked solid.

Skipper: Just as I feared. You've been brainwashed.

Private: I've been brainwashed?

Skipper: Yes, you've been brainwashed.

Private: [droning] Brainwashed.

Skipper: You don't want your brain washed.

Private: I don't want my brain washed.

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Skipper: Here's the plan: we give them zip. Nobody move a muscle.

Private: Uh, Skipper? I-I really need to...

Skipper: Go, go, go!

[Private leaves; offscreen toilet flush; Private returns]

Private: Much better. Thank you.

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Skipper: Hold formation!

[Cut to night time; all are asleep]

Skipper: [Yawning] Hold... formation. Just a few more years of this and we're in the clear.

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Private: [starting to crack with hunger] The tastetiness!

Skipper: We're losing Private. Rico, talk some sense into him.

[Rico slaps Private]

Private: Thanks, Skipper.

Skipper: I knew you'd listen to reason.

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Skipper: Glad to have you back, Private.

Private: Thanks, Skipper. Although I do miss the Flippy lifestyle.

Skipper: Still a little brainwashed, I see? Rico?

[Rico slaps Private]

Private: Much better, Skipper.

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Skipper: Don't you get it? They're trying to get inside our heads, stealing our secrets.

Marlene: Wait, what?

Skipper: Stealing our secrets!

Marlene: No, they're not. It's just for fun.

Skipper: They've gotten to you! There's no one we can trust, boys. Rico!

[Rico regurgitates a smoke screen bomb; they escape under the cover of the smoke]

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See also

Trivia | Goofs | Crazy Credits | Alternate Versions | Connections | Soundtracks

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