The Jerk Theory (2008)

Josh Henderson: Adam Dynes

Photos 

Quotes 

• Adam Dynes : There's only one thing girls want more than professional athletes: rock stars.

• Adam Dynes : So, what's your favorite animal?

  Molly Taylor : My favorite mammal is the dolphin. I got to swim with them last year in Hawaii.

  Adam Dynes : You know, the dolphin is the only animal to actually, uh...

  Molly Taylor : ...have sex for fun? I know.

  Adam Dynes : That's why they're in my top five.

• Adam Dynes : [in the confessional]  Father, do you ever wonder what it would be like to have a normal life?

  Father Bailey : If by "normal life" you mean finding my soulmate, falling in love, and she's kind and nurturing and she loves me just as much as I love her, in spite of my flaws, and we get married and have children, and... and I coach my son's baseball team and one day walk my daughter down the aisle--they have kids and so we're grandparents--and then we retire early and I buy one of those huge RVs, like at least a 60-footer, with satellite TV, and we travel around the whole country together... no, I... I've never thought of that. Besides, I have you kids to take care of. So, what's up?

• Honest Girl : Nobody will be, like, honest with me like you will. Are we really over?

  Adam Dynes : Honestly... you're kind of slutty and annoying--but I'll call you if I ever get lonely.

  Honest Girl : You're irresistible.

• Adam Dynes : OK, look, I don't care if you do like her. You just went out with her last night. You do not call her for four days.

  Chester : Come on...

  Adam Dynes : Not-not-not four days, all right? After four days you don't call her, she'll be excited.

• Molly Taylor : Do lines like that usually work?

  Adam Dynes : B'ah... Well, I've... I've experienced a fair amount of success with them, yes.

• Dudley : Ever take a dump naked?

  Chester : I sleep naked.

  Dudley : It's liberating.

  Adam Dynes : Ah, good to hear the usual intellectual banter.

• Molly Taylor : Tell me this is a coincidence.

  Adam Dynes : No, no, it's penance.

• Adam Dynes : You're the most amazing girl I've ever met, so, um, tonight I thought we could get a little closer.

  Molly Taylor : Adam, we've talked about this.

  Adam Dynes : Yeah, that's all we ever do is talk about it. I think I've been really patient with you.

  Molly Taylor : Patient? You think you've been "patient" with me?

• Adam Dynes : She seems like a good time.

• Chester : I get so nervous around that girl. Why is that?

  Adam Dynes : Hm. Grow a pair, will you?