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To quote the lead in this, "I got out of bed for this?"
This is a review of the version for the Wii; it appears there are differences between them. First I should explain my approach. I am of an extremely optimistic disposition, trying to find some redeeming aspect in everything. Going into this, I had no axe to grind. I was merely looking to be entertained, as I was by the film. And yet I rate this as low as I am allowed by this site, signifying that I did not, in fact, locate any saving grace. The movie tells us that there are people who can transport to anywhere in the blink of an eye, and they are hunted by the so-called Paladins(that are your enemies in this... they'll literally come out of nowhere), religious fanatics sworn to kill them, that have a weapon all about the shock value that is a combination of 2003's Daredevil's staff(come on, I can't be the only one who's noticed the resemblance) and glo-sticks, which prevents them from using their ability. I'm explaining all of this here because this doesn't bother to. Oh, a few lines in the tiny manual, that's it. This is about Griffin, the supporting character(and best of them, other than maybe Sam Jackson's, also in this... Christensen's was flat and boring) in the flick(this happens at the same time as it... I think, there are hardly any references to it), and there are designs from it, as well. What you have to wonder is why they bothered to dedicate this to him if there was this little to delve into. You're pursuing revenge for slain parents, and killing whatever police or guards get in your way, too(is it just me, or didn't this medium attempt to motivate you to take out the opponents, once? Now with The Conduit and this... are they mimicking Commando?). To do this, you engage in hack-and-slash(fast or heavy attack, and chains of them... somewhat; also, you can Block, I found no use for that) combat(it barely lets you know you're hurt, you perish without realizing you were low on life), with five classes(...short and long Cudgels(gesundheit), same for Blades(the Katana rocks... they always do), and then Special, Grenades(that have to be restocked if you die... don't ask) and Flamethrower(don't get excited, it blows)), you can pick the ones to bring into the next or current mission) of mêlée arms. Oh, and you go instantly back and forth between positions in the immediate area as you fight. Yes, it honestly feels like an afterthought, because you have literally *no impact* on it, yourself. You don't activate it, direct it or choose to do anything else with it. There are three bars that gradually fill up as you strike others(in this, no in RL... stop punching people), and each(you can't select one, it does the strongest one of them it can) is a use of the power... sort of(the only cool one is abducting the victim to somewhere far up and scenic, then tossing them down from there... the Brooklyn Bridge, for example), and the third one gets everyone in the vicinity... except for when it doesn't, and that's most of the time. There's no timing or reflexes to the majority of it, it's pure button-mashing. You can't stun anyone, though they can do it to you. Bosses are overly easy or hard, like the rest of this(only one difficulty setting, by the way), you'll either whale on 'em or run away and avoid them while your health regenerates until you can go for another try at taking them down. That's the entire game-play. Oh, well, that and the Jump puzzles(and if you mess up, early on, it'll simply rescue you automatically). No, no. I'm not apologizing. I couldn't resist it. Yes, you point with the Wii-Mote, click C, and voilà... you're where you indicated. If it was a flat surface, and you don't go "over" it. And it's not acting up at the time. The performances are decent, Bell is good, and the banter isn't bad(the humor is great). Hey, it seemed apropos. Teleportation isn't in many VG's, because, hey, how on Earth do you actually realize it? Nightcrawler in X-Men: The Official Game had complex controls(only played the demo, but can't claim that I mastered them), instead; however, it gave you a sense that you were *doing* something, it wasn't random and the battles had intensity. This never grabs you. The plot is non-existent(talk about taking the saying "make a long story short" to heart), doesn't elicit any emotional response and is exceedingly poorly covered. All of the sound work and music is lackluster. The graphics are unimpressive, going for a comic book style(...why?), like XIII, only pretty limited compared to that. Licensed games suck(other than Aladdin and TMNT, the only two that don't), and it's because they are rushed and incomplete, and this is no different. It uses a third person camera that screws you when it can, by letting you move around without it being behind you, every couple of seconds(the reset function is on 1, awkward to get to at a moment's notice). Oh, you can turn it... well, don't expect it to aid you. You go to Rome, Nepal and Tokyo. Won't know why... it doesn't tell you what leads you're following or anything. It's just a series of replayable(...meanwhile, why would you want to? There's hidden stuff, that's it, and it does *nothing*) levels, next to no connection between them, and they are so quickly gone through that you will probably complete this in a day, and a single sitting. A couple of hours, no multi-player, that's it. You're thrown right into it and learn by doing, starting at the Forum. This doesn't take advantage of the endless opportunities of the concept. There is a little disturbing content and brutal violence(not seen). I recommend this solely to those who can not be talked out of this. That goes for if you can get it for free. It's barely fun. At all. 1/10
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