Luna: Any noise, and I will butt-rape your grandfather with this broomstick!
Robert 'Granddad' Freeman: Boys! Don't make any noise!
Robert 'Granddad' Freeman: [watching his blind date messily eat] Do you know what? I've had it. This sucks!
Ugly Woman: What's wrong with you?
Robert 'Granddad' Freeman: You know what's wrong with me! When was this picture taken, 1964?
[Indicating the picture she gave him of a younger more attractive woman]
Ugly Woman: You saying I don't look like my picture?
Robert 'Granddad' Freeman: I'm saying you probably never looked like this damn picture, this ain't you!
Ugly Woman: So is all that you care about is looks?
Ugly Woman: Well excuse me for thinking you liked me for who I was on the inside!
Robert 'Granddad' Freeman: Well, you're a liar on the inside, this whole relationship is based on a lie, an UGLY lie! Why the hell does this keep happening to me? God what did I do to deserve this? This is payback for what? What did I do to you? Tell me.
Ugly Woman: Nigga, you ain't no Denzel, hell you ain't even no Flava Flav!
Robert 'Granddad' Freeman: Time after time after time. There ought to be a law, lock em up, charge em with fraud, I'd be snitchin' on ugly women all day, I should give em the chair, electrify their ugly asses, dry pool that switch quick!