Edit

(TV Series)

(2007)

Quotes

Naboo: Oh and Howard, I don't care what you do on your own time, don't advertise it on the front of the shop.

Howard Moon: What? That wasn't me! It was graffiti artists!

Bollo: No smoke without fire.

Howard Moon: Why does everyone keep saying that? What about smoke machines?

Bollo: [shrugs] Dry ice.

The Hitcher: [to Howard Moon] You oughta be careful boy - there's alotta weirdos around 'ere, lotta nasty people...

[leers]

The Hitcher: ... lotta nutters. But I'm gonna protect you boy. 'Cos I love you. In fact if you weren't a geezer I'd be rapin' you be'ind the counter right now.

The Hitcher: [leers] Do I look like a reasonable man to you, or a peppermint nightmare?

Howard Moon: [timidly] The first one?

The Hitcher: Wrong.

The Board of Shamen: We are super magic men/We stay out 'til five A.M./Though we live by Shamen laws/What goes on tour, stays on tour.

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The Hitcher: [in Victorian-Electro song] The past and future, combining to make something not quite as good as either.

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The Hitcher: [randomly playing chords on the piano] EELS! EELS! EELS! Join in with me, boy.

Howard Moon: [timidly] Eels?

The Hitcher: Yeah, It's a good one, ain't it?

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Howard Moon: We're in trouble. We've got to get out of town.

Vince Noir: Just calm down and tell me what happened.

Howard Moon: This man came into the shop, a cockney! He urinated in my face, and...

[turns to camera]

Howard Moon: we've seen all this. Can we just cut to something else while I explain it?

[cuts to a game of Pong for a few seconds]

Howard Moon: ...We've got to get a thousand Euros by midnight or we're dead!

[turns to camera]

Howard Moon: Thank you.

[the Pong game beeps off-screen in response]

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Dennis: Would you be quiet, please. I can't hear my internal TomTom. We appear to be lost.

Tony Harrison: Oh, you are useless!

Dennis: Well, I'm more than happy to let someone else drive.

Tony Harrison: I can't drive! I'm shitfaced!

Saboo: Yeah, like if you were sober, you could drive anyway. You can't even reach the pedals, you cleft.

Tony Harrison: How dare you. I've got a heavy goods license. There's no one here who's got more miles under their belt than me!

Saboo: Look, save it, you pinky wafer. Let Kirk drive.

Dennis: Kirk can't drive. He's a renowned ram-raider.

Saboo: Kirk? Is it true that you've become a vehicular menace; mowing down all in your path?

Kirk: Yes.

Tony Harrison: Can we stop? I need a wee-wee.

Dennis: We were only just in the service station.

Tony Harrison: I know, but I didn't need to go then! I'm not a machine, I've got a weak bladder!

Saboo: You are a bladder.

Tony Harrison: Anyway, it's not my fault. I couldn't reach the pee-trough! I asked you to pick me up; you just shunned me!

Dennis: I'm sorry, but I do not stoop to pick up men in the urinals.

Saboo: ...that's not what I've heard.

Tony Harrison: Ohhhh! You walked right into it!

All Shamen: [singing] We are super magic men/We stay up till five A.M.!/Although we're bound by shaman lords/What goes on tour, stays on tour!

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Howard Moon: But we had an arrangement...

Vince Noir: Oh, boo-hoo the arrangement! Do I look like a reasonable man to you?

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See also

Trivia | Goofs | Crazy Credits | Alternate Versions | Connections | Soundtracks

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