- Darph Bobo: [off screen] What do you mean, he's not coming?
- Chode: I tried, Darph, honestly I did.
- Darph Bobo: [on viewscreen] Maybe you didn't try hard enough! What did he say when you asked him?
- Chode: He said he'd rather sit throught a Ben Affleck film retrospective.
- Chuckles Bobo: I decided not to tell you.
- Darph Bobo: Why not?
- Chuckles Bobo: Because you keep a secret like a cow with stomach flu keeps a turd.