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Parents Guide for
"The Guild" (2007) More at IMDbPro »

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Since the beliefs that parents want to instill in their children can vary greatly, we ask that, instead of adding your personal opinions about what is right or wrong in a film, you use this feature to help parents make informed viewing decisions by describing the facts of relevant scenes in the title for each one of the different categories: Sex and Nudity, Violence and Gore, Profanity, Alcohol/Drugs/Smoking, and Frightening/Intense Scenes.
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Sex & Nudity

If it were rated by the MPAA, it would be rated R for several sexual references, and language. On TV, it would be rated TV-MA.

Several sexual references and innuendos. One character's jokes are constantly based around sex and whatnot, and that character makes them frequently.

No nudity.

SEASON ONE



A character tells another character that something was "a total rim job".

A character says that "she is getting raped by goblins" but this is just figurative.

A character tells another character that "she had her staff up her ass" when distracted while playing a video game.

A character says that a woman can "come over and do whatever she wants with her finger."

A character says that "nursing makes her stupid" and then a character replies with "you're nursing right now? That's fricking hot!" and she replies with "I know, right!" and a character asks if anyone else is "getting their 'nip' sucked on".

A character calls another character a slut. This term is used several times throughout the series.

A male character is seen wearing just underwear and he is also wearing a pointed hat. He says it gives him "+5 sexterity," as in dexterity, but with sex as a prefix.

A character tells another character that her breasts are very pillowy and she thanks him.

A character says that maybe they will have "make-up sex" later after a small disagreement, but she quickly declines.

A character tells another character that she had been "sucking face" with a man.

A character tells a male character that she was old enough to be his mom, and he says that that "doesn't spring him," and then points at the other women saying that they were better looking.

A 12-year-old looking girl asks if any of her brother's friends are "pervs".

A man and a woman are hugging, and then the woman gets an uncomfortable look on her face, and they break the hug. The man says that she was "woodied". This is innuendo for an erection.

A character says that "he could put his wizard staff" into a woman's "mana hole". This is innuendo for sex.

A character says that if she plays a video game like a "taint-bag" she gets to keep all of the loot.

A character is nursing and playing a video game simultaneously, and her bare breast is almost seen, but, due to the camera view, it is not.

A nursing mother says that her breasts get all "achey" to remind her to nurse her children.

A mother says that her breasts get "all loose" when she hasn't nursed in a while, and that her husband notices. A character says that she has a uterus.

A character says that she was in a sorority and that she was "super into vagina loyalty".

A character makes a video of video game characters having sex. None of this is seen.

A character that is in love with another character looks at the video mentioned in the previous line that his and her characters in a video game are naked and "doing it".

A character says that his mother makes her feel a problem on her breast.

A character is seen in a revealing outfit, and says that she needs to pick her kids up from another house that had her kids because she needed someone to watch them while she was at her pole dancing class, and a few seconds later the person watching her kids says that she needed to watch her "sperm-blossoms" because she was training to become a stripper.

A character walks up to another woman and guesses that her vagina has a "landing strip" and is "brazillian."

A character lies to another character saying that if he came to a meeting that the main character says that she would flash him her breasts. He asks for "lady nips".

A decently fat woman offers the same character wanting a woman to flash her boobs to him her boobs, and he declines. Another good-looking character says that she wasn't going to show him hers. Then the one offering to flash her boobs says that her boobs weren't "hams she were smuggling," and she points her hands towards her nipples. He declines and asks for "the original recipe." She declines also. And then the leader of the meeting says "nipple negotiations aside," dismissing the subject.

A woman says "nice sausage" to a poster of a man holding a sausage. This could be interpreted as innuendo for a penis.

A man says that some posters are a recipe for "locker rape," and then a character asks "repent, or rape?!" This is done for comedy. All of the characters look awkwardly at each other afterwards.

A character says that a bad event is something like a "real-life tea bag."

SEASON TWO



The season begins with the main character telling a man that he doesn't need to unpack her underwear. He says that he is not being "pervy" and just "doing inventory".

The intro sequence for Clara zooms in on her boobs, and then goes to her face.

A character tells another character that her "face is so sweet, yet her tongue is so sour." He continues to say that he has "pork" that she could "spread that sauce on".

A character says that he's saving for an item that won't "shrivel his scrotum."

Two characters almost kiss but don't.

A man tells a woman that she gets him as "hard" as a joystick.

A man says that after "manning up" he might be able to "get some".

A man says that he was buying lingerie for a woman.

A woman says that an obsessive man needs a mentor with a penis.

A character runs around the house naked, though no nudity is seen.













Violence & Gore

Some punches and kicks, but they mostly serve a comedic purpose and no blood is shown.

One character is shot several times up-close with a Paintball gun.

Profanity

FIRST SEASON

"Fuck" is heard within the first two minutes of the first episode.

A character says he yelled "fag" a few thousand times.

A character says that her husband got "pissed" over something.

A immature mother says that another character said "a-hole".

Some offensive sexual innuendos. See Sex & Nudity

"Fuck" is said six times in the first season.

There is frequent use of several profanities. (Fuck, shit, ass, damn, bitch, etc.)



A character says another character decided to smoke "dooby".

A main character stalks several people, though it is comedic, but may be creepy to some viewers.

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