Dr. Gregory House: I think I'm going blind.
Dr. James Wilson: Hairy palms too?
Dr. Gregory House: No, she said something idiotic again and I didn't even notice it. Foreman had to point out it was idiotic. She's making me an idiot.
Dr. James Wilson: It's cute, you have a crush.
Dr. Amber Volakis: [refering to Dr. Terzi] Why did you bring her in so late? It's not fair, the rest of us...
Dr. Gregory House: If you wanted fair, you picked the wrong job, the wrong profession... the wrong species.
Dr. Amber Volakis: [refering to Dr. Terzi] Why did you hire her?
Dr. Gregory House: Because she has way more diagnostic experience than the other swimsuit models I was considering.
Dr. Gregory House: How many lives have been lost because of pretty girls?
Dr. Gregory House: [to Kenny] Anywhere else in the animal kingdom, your parents would have eaten you at birth.
Dr. Chris Taub: There's a mass lesion in the left anterior temporal lobe surrounded by edema.
Dr. Gregory House: Did you just insult me in Pig Latin?
Dr. Gregory House: I have a new theory. Her bad ideas don't indicate a lack of intelligence, they indicate... an open mind, a willingness not to be trapped by conventional...
Dr. Lisa Cuddy: Where are you going?
Dr. Gregory House: To do what I always do it these situations: treat my patient behind his back.
Dr. Gregory House: Just a warning: if we have to start getting consent every time we do a procedure, soon they'll be asking for *informed* consent.
Dr. Wilson: The story of life - Boy meets girl. Boy gets stupid. Boy and girl live stupidly ever after.
Darnell: And you left his team because you couldn't stand him anymore?
Dr. Allison Cameron: No, no, I love Dr. House.
Darnell: That's something we haven't heard.
Dr. Allison Cameron: I mean... what did you ask me again?
Darnell: Why you left him?
Dr. Allison Cameron: I mean... I loved being around him, professionally, you know. It was always stimulating... not in an erotic sense of the word.
Dr. Gregory House: On the other hand, cameras make people act. Sometimes like human beings, sometimes just weird. Sometimes, they wear open-tip bras.
Dr. Lisa Cuddy: [defensively] It's cold in here.
Dr. Gregory House: Let's go for a walk. Walking gives the illusion of the story moving forward.
[talking about Dr. Terzi]
Dr. Gregory House: I think she might be an idiot.
Dr. James Wilson: Who?
Dr. Gregory House: But she can't be an idiot. She was in the CIA for God's sake.
Dr. James Wilson: The Bay of Pigs was a daring triumph.
Dr. Gregory House: She had good ideas in Langley.
Dr. James Wilson: All your ideas.
Dr. Gregory House: She was able to identify that they were good ideas.
Dr. James Wilson: Stab in the dark here. Is she pretty?
Dr. Gregory House: She's new. She's nervous.
Dr. James Wilson: She's a C-Cup?
Dr. Gregory House: She said one dumb thing in a differential. They all say dumb things in differentials.
Dr. James Wilson: A D-Cup? If she's no good just fire her.
Dr. Gregory House: I can't! I just hired her. She left a career.
Dr. James Wilson: Wow. Either that's actual guilt or I've got to see this woman.
Dr. James Wilson: You've got a problem.
Dr. Gregory House: Tell me something I don't know.
Dr. James Wilson: You hire beautiful girls, enslave them, force them to be around you because you don't know how to have an actual relationship. If they're qualified, keep them. If not, fire them and ask them out.
Dr. Gregory House: You do realize that "tell me something I don't know" is just an expression?
Dr. Gregory House: [after watching the completed documentary] Suddenly I don't feel I can trust Michael Moore movies.