District 9 (2009)
Wikus Van De Merwe: Hello, little guy! It's the sweetie man coming!
Wikus Van De Merwe: Get your fokkin' tentacle out of my face!
Automated MNU Instructional Voice: [in MNU Humvee] When dealing with aliens, try to be polite, but firm. And always remember that a smile is cheaper than a bullet.
Christopher Johnson's Son: How many moons does our planet have?
Christopher Johnson: Seven.
Christopher Johnson's Son: This planet only has one. I can't wait to see our planet again... it's bigger than this one, isn't it?
Christopher Johnson: [turns off holographic atlas of what seems to be the Alien home planet] Enough.
Christopher Johnson's Son: We go home now?
Christopher Johnson: Not home, no. This is where we must go.
[shows his son an MNU brochure outlining "Sanctuary Park Alien Relocation Camp" aka District 10]
Christopher Johnson: See that tent there? That might be ours.
Christopher Johnson's Son: I want to go home!
Christopher Johnson: We can't go home. Not anymore.
Wikus Van De Merwe: Could you go a bit slower with the clicks there, it sounded like you said *three years*...
Prawn: We trade
[large alien robot suit]
Prawn: for ten thousand cans
Obesandjo: Give them one hundred cans
Obesandjo's Lieutenant: [to Prawn] One hundred!
Prawn: Yes, yes, but we take all of them now
Obesandjo's Lieutenant: Get them the cat food, hurry up!
Wikus Van De Merwe: We need your signature on this eviction notice.
Angry Alien: Fuck off!
[smacks the pad away]
Wikus Van De Merwe: [in Christopher's ship] This whole's thing's under your shack? For 20 years, you've had this fookin' thing hidden out here? This is, this is very illegal, I mean, this is... this is a fine.
Christopher Johnson's Son: Fuel goes in here!
Christopher Johnson: That's enough! QUIET!
Christopher Johnson's Son: ...then we fly away.
Christopher Johnson: I said QUIET! We cannot trust him.
Wikus Van De Merwe: What is he saying about the fuel, is this, are you trying to start this thing? He-he. Are you little fookers trying to start this, and get away, ay?
Christopher Johnson: Never mind.
Wikus Van De Merwe: Ha-ha. Yeah, you sneaky fookin' prawns, heh?
Christopher Johnson: Too bad. I could have fixed you.
Wikus Van De Merwe: Wha- wait what did you say about-about the *fixing*?
Wikus Van De Merwe: Oh! I haven't shown you a picture of my wife! Here she is, my angel. I tell people she actually looks like an angel, you see here? The white looks like a halo on her head. Can you see that? She's my angel, you're picking that up on your cameras there! They probably won't keep that in the film but...
Koobus Venter: I can't believe I'm being paid to do this. I love watching you prawns die.
Wikus Van De Merwe: [Points out Alien graffiti] This is basically a guy, and there's 3 humans here, basically trying to make a warning, you know, saying "I kill 3 humans, watch out for me."
Wikus Van De Merwe: [examining and fiddling with the lid of the Prawns' fuel] ... but, it's uh, not a weapon... but I don't trust it, I don't trust any-a the -
[sprayed in face with the Prawns' fuel]
Sarah Livingstone - Sociologist: [about Nigerian scams on the Prawns] ... where they sold cat food to the aliens for exorbitant prices.
[Wikus enters an MNU code and the gate opens]
[an MNU agent shoots several bullets at Wikus, causing him to pull the trigger of his Alien gun and shoot the agent]
Christopher Johnson: [the MNU agent explodes] Fuck!
[Wikus takes off his mask and checks his vest]
Christopher Johnson: I thought you said not to kill them?
Wikus Van De Merwe: He shot at me!
Tania Van De Merwe: It couldn't possibly come from him... I know it's true.
Wikus Van De Merwe: [when under attack in MNU] What are you doing?
Christopher Johnson: Making a bomb!
Christopher Johnson's Son: We go home now?
Christopher Johnson: Yes.
Obesandjo's Lieutenant: [gets a machete, moves towards Wilkus, laughing] Hehe, I will teach you...
Wikus Van De Merwe: [grabs an alien weapon] YOU BLIKSEM!
Obesandjo's Lieutenant: Hey, HEY, HEY!
[gets blown away by Wilkus]
Obesandjo: OH! HOLY SHIT!
Wikus Van De Merwe: [blasts several more of Obesandjo's soldiers, then turns to Obesandjo] You tell them to fokking stand down!
Obesandjo: [shouts to his soldiers in Xhosa, who back off]
Wikus Van De Merwe: Put the fokking weapons in the bag!
[backing away with the weapons]
Wikus Van De Merwe: Don't fokking look at me!
Obesandjo's Lieutenant: How did you do this one, my man? It's doggy-style with a demon. You're one brave white man. Were you wearing a condom?
James Hope - Police Officer: I mean, you can't say they don't look like that, that's what they look like, right? They look like prawns.
MNU Agent: MNU! We're serving eviction notices.
Alien: What is "eviction"?
[Wikus walks into a room filled with Alien weaponry]
Wikus Van De Merwe: This is Christmas. This is Christmas, my friends! This is the biggest find that I've ever seen.
[Fundiswa clutches his face mask while he witnesses the burning shack]
Wikus Van De Merwe: [referring to the face mask] You don't need that, man. Only sissies wear that. You don't need that.
Wikus Van De Merwe: [Nervous] Forget about the weapons there mate, it doesn't matter. Forget about the weapons!
Obesandjo: I want his arm. Cut it off.
Wikus Van De Merwe: [Comes into his house with the lights turned off, talking to his wife] I think I crapped my pants
[Lights turn on and people yell surpise]
Wikus Van De Merwe: I would never have any kind of... pornographic activity with a fokkin' creature!
Wikus Van De Merwe: [Wikus sees the head restraint descend down in-front of him] Alright, that's very comfor...
[Wikus's head is suddenly shunted forward and we hear a whirring sound]
Wikus Van De Merwe: [Wikus shouts] *Argh* Foking Bliksem!
Fundiswa Mhlanga: [about Wikus Van de Merwe] He was an honest man, and he didn't deserve any of what happened to him.
Wikus Van De Merwe: [giving an Alien reproductive apparatus to co-worker] Here, you can take that, you want to keep that, as a souvenir of your first abortion, ay. You can feel like you've done one of these too.
Thomas: [beaming] Thanks, boss!
Wikus Van De Merwe: [talking to a prawn in District 9] We drinking a little bit here, eh?
[the prawn vomits at Wikus's feet]
Wikus Van De Merwe: You wanna' fucking play with me, Koobus?
[cocks the Exo-Suit's gun]
Wikus Van De Merwe: You fucker!
Wikus Van De Merwe: [while the 'anti-abortion team' burns down the shack with the alien eggs in it] You hear that? That's a popping sound that you're hearing. It's almost like a popcorn.
Grey Bradnam - UKNR Chief Correspondent: There's no way of knowing whether or not Christopher Johnson will return. We don't know if he was simply escaping, whether he will effect a rescue plan, uh... and as the so-called free press says, whether or not he'll come back and declare war on us.
Wikus Van De Merwe: [Facing the PMCs] I'm not fucking scared of you!
Wikus Van De Merwe: [Wikus is obviously falling sick] Okay, let's cut some cake!
[Wikus begins to hallucinate and experience distortion in hearing his own speech, slowing things down considerably]
Wikus Van De Merwe: C-U-T S-O-M-E C-A-K-E!
Wikus Van De Merwe: [picks up to examine and fiddle with silver canister] Well, huh, this has got the markings of - so it's definitely alien but it's uh, not a weapon... but I don't trust it, ya know, I don't trust any-a the...
[sprayed in face with the Alien fuel]