[
from trailer]
Needy Lesnicky:
I thought you only murdered boys.
Jennifer Check:
I go both ways.
[
from trailer]
Jennifer Check:
I need you hopeless.
[
from trailer]
Chip Dove:
I can take care of myself. I've been using the Bowflex.
[
from trailer]
Needy Lesnicky:
Jennifer's evil.
Chip Dove:
I know.
Needy Lesnicky:
No. I mean, she's actually evil. Not high school evil.
[
from trailer]
Jennifer Check:
You need a mani bad. You should find a Chinese chick to buff your situation.
[
from trailer]
Jennifer Check:
It smells like Thai food in here. Have you guys been fucking?
[
from trailer]
Needy Lesnicky:
You're killing people?
Jennifer Check:
No. I'm killing boys.
[
from trailer]
Nikolai Wolf:
I think it's important to reach out to our fans in the shitty areas, too.
[
from trailer]
Needy Lesnicky:
I will finish you if I have to.
Jennifer Check:
Ok, you can barely finish gym class.
Needy Lesnicky:
You're a terrible best friend. You stole my toys when we were little. You poured lemonade on my bed.
Jennifer Check:
And now I'm eating your boyfriend. At least I'm consistent.
Needy Lesnicky:
[
opening line] Hell is a teenaged girl.
Jennifer Check:
I am scrumptious!
Needy Lesnicky:
[
closing line] And sometimes, you might just get lucky in your miserable life.
Nutritionist:
Just one Toastem, huh?
Needy Lesnicky:
I like Toastems.
Nutritionist:
That's good. But I'm not sure a Toastem can provide you with sufficient energy for your day. I'd recommend more complex carbohydrates...
[
Needy kicks the Nutritionist so hard, it sends her flying across several tables before hitting the floor]
Needy Lesnicky:
I recommend that you shut the fuck up!
[
spits on her as the Nutritionist spits a bloody tooth onto the floor]
Jennifer Check:
[
Grabs Needy's breasts] These are like smart bombs, you point them in the right direction and shit gets real.
Jennifer Check:
I think the singer wants me.
Needy Lesnicky:
Only because he thinks you're a virgin. I heard them talking.
Jennifer Check:
Yeah, right. I'm not even a backdoor-virgin anymore, thanks to Roman. By the way, that *hurts*. I couldn't even go to flags the next day. I had to stay home and sit on a bag of frozen peas.
Jennifer Check:
I just got Aquamarine on DVD. It's about a girl who's, like, half sushi. She must've had sex with a blowhole or something.
Jennifer Check:
[
Having been stabbed in the stomach and bleeding profusely] Got a tampon?
Needy Lesnicky:
[
after Colin asks Jennifer out] Colin's really nice.
Jennifer Check:
He listens to maggot rock. He wears nail polish. My dick is bigger than his.
Nikolai Wolf:
Do you know how hard it is to make it as an indie band these days? There are so many of us, and we're all so cute and it's like if you don't get on Letterman or some retarded soundtrack, you're screwed, okay? Satan is our only hope.
Needy Lesnicky:
Hell is a teenage girl.
Needy Lesnicky:
I recommend you shut the fuck up!
Jennifer Check:
Hey, Monistat.
Needy Lesnicky:
What's up, Vagisil?
Jennifer Check:
You're lime green jello and you can't even admit it to yourself
Needy Lesnicky:
[
V.O] The whole country got a huge tragedy boner for Devil's Kettle.
Jennifer Check:
My tit.
Needy Lesnicky:
No, your heart.
Needy Lesnicky:
Why do you need him? Huh? you can have anybody that you want Jennifer. So why chip? is it just to tick me off? or is it just because you're just really insecure?
Jennifer Check:
I am not insecure Needy. God thats a joke, how could I ever be insecure. I was the snowflake queen.
Needy Lesnicky:
Yeah two years ago when you were socially relevant.
Jennifer Check:
I am still socially relevant.
Needy Lesnicky:
And when you didnt need laxatives to stay skinny.
Jennifer Check:
I am going... to eat your soul... and shit it out Lesnicky!
Needy Lesnicky:
Are you PMS'ing or something?
Jennifer Check:
PMS isn't real Needy, it was invented by the boy-run media to make us seem like we're crazy.
Jennifer Check:
[
after being stabbed by Needy] Oww. My Tit.
Jennifer Check:
[
to Needy] Do you buy all your murder weapons at Home Depot? You're such a butch!
Jennifer Check:
Where-where are we going?
Nikolai Wolf:
You don't have to talk if you don't want it.
Needy Lesnicky:
How are you going to get alcohol?
Jennifer Check:
I'll just play Hello Titty with the bartender.
Needy Lesnicky:
You're a jerk.
Jennifer Check:
Nice insult, Hannah Montana.
Chas:
You're totally lesbi-gay.
Chas:
It's true. It's on the Wikipedia.
Jennifer Check:
You give me such a wetty.
Related Links
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