- Romantic comedy. A small town teenager's angst about sexual inexperience drives a comic quest for love and understanding on a birthday to end all birthdays.
- On her 16th birthday, never-been-kissed Kate decides to play cupid for two people she works with, pairing her boss with a paraplegic customer and setting up short-order cook Rene with an oversexed co-worker. But in the process of matchmaking, Kate learns some surprising lessons about love and the mechanics of romantic relationships.—Anonymous
- An omniscient narrator begins the film only to have Kate (Hallee Hirsch) interrupt him to add her point of view. Kates lives along the Mississippi, is an avid reader, has a walking cast on her right foot, and rides her bike to work. Kate arrives at a riverside malt shop named the Float-on-Inn. She arrives early to read a book about the cultural revolution in China. She is not your typical 16-year-old.
Kate learns from her grandmother her sister did not come home the previous night. Kate is putting on lipstick when she hears the door open. Rene (Shiloh Fernandez) the cook is next to arrive at work. He is a stoner who plays Smoke on the Water badly on his guitar.
Kate's best friend and coworker Darby (Mandy Musgrave) makes out with boyfriend Harley (Ryan Gourley) in his truck before entering the malt shop. Once inside, Kate starts styling Darby's hair. Crystal (Sydney Swanson), a precocious young customer learns Kate is Sweet 16 and never been kissed. When Darby abruptly decides to lose her virginity this very day, mortified Kate protests that they both were going to wait until they were really in love, but then pretends not to care. Their next customer is Ronald (Jamie Gomez), a paraplegic man in a wheelchair who runs a local shop. He had suggested the book Kate is currently reading and helps Kate understand the atmosphere in China when Mao took power. Kate continues to argue against Darby's decision telling Darby that she did not even like giving Harley blow jobs well within earshot of customers at the window. When a group of motorcycle riders are heard nearby, Kate and Darby lock themselves in the storage room, leaving Rene to deal with the band of women bikers.
Darby discovers the coloring in her hair has stayed in too long and her gold highlights are now white streaks. Darby is upset and claims Kate did it intentionally. Kate's first attempt to correct Darby's hair is with a scissors which further angers Darby. Kate resolves that Louise, the shop owner, can fix Darby's hair once she arrives. Darby's mood improves when a young man from Minneapolis named Jordan (Brendan Dunphy) is very flirtatious with Darby after ordering an egg sandwich.
Louise (Theresa Russell) the shop owner arrives and immediately notices that Rene failed to clean the grill and that the shop needs a cleaning. Kate has read Louise's horoscope and talks with Louise about her dreams for life, a concept Louise has given up on. Louise is addicted to cigarettes and tells Kate about a man she dated who was into Mao. Louise bemoans the fact she has not met a good man in a long time.
Kate's father (James Serpento) visits the stand with Reverend Kerr (Michael Cornelison) after going to the gun show. Her father gives Kate a black box which Kate presumes is the necklace she wanted. Her father says the gift is a stun gun that delivers an electric shock. Even worse, her father grabs the microphone and announces to the community that Kate is Sweet 16 and never been kissed. Kate is embarrassed.
Kate pulls herself together to wait on an attractive young man named Carson (Will Rothhaar) and subsequently a girl Kate believes is his spoiled girlfriend. When Kate accidentally pulls the straw from her malt and puts it in his Coke, Carson happily drinks from it and introduces himself to Kate before he departs.
Kate's dreamy mood is quickly interrupted by her sister Terry (Gabrielle McNally) who smacks Kate in the face giving Kate a bloody nose Terry is upset that Kate has been telling everyone Terry never came home the previous night. Darby resolves to getting Kate kissed offering up Rene and even her boyfriend Harley. Kate envisions her family as characters in her book, where her father is taken away from his life to work on a duck farm for six years. Kate had turned him in to the authorities for necessary "re-education".
Bobby (Nicholas Downs), Louise's son and a local sheriff's deputy, stops by to warn Louise that her trash receptacles are too close to the street. Louise questions Darby whether she is prepared fox sex and then collects the girl's cellphones to curb them from their addictions. Kate suggests to Rene that Tatiana, the coworker relieving Kate at 4:00 p.m. would be good for him. Louise continues to work on Darby's hair when the serenity is broken by an exploding microwave oven. Rene had placed the girls' cell phones inside.
In reading her book on the Chinese Cultural Revolution, Kate expresses her disbelief in cults. Louise compares marriage to the brainwashing of a cult, but ultimately concludes that there is a lack of quality men. After ruling out her widowed father, Kate says she knows a man Louise could date. Louise wants Kate to focus on going out and enjoying her birthday. Tatiana is late and Louise surmised she may be involved with the members of the tabernacle. In spite of Louise's advice, Kate makes it her mission to match Louise with Ronald. She calls Ronald over from his shop and suggests he meet his blind date for coffee at 8:00 p.m. Kate questions Louise about what she is looking for in a man hinting if it would matter if the man was less than physically perfect. Kate resolves to relieve Louise at 8:00 p.m. so she can go with Ronald. Louise leaves for the bank.
Darby discusses her night ahead which disgusts Kate, so Darby goes on break. Kate's next customer is Jordan, the young man from the city whose parents have a house of the river. Jordan is very sure of himself and openly flirtatious with Kate even grabbing her pen and writing his phone number on her order book. Kate asks Rene what he thinks of Jordan. Rene cannot get past Jordan's pink polo shirt. Kate says he is cocky and there is no electricity. Kate gives Jordan a fake name and background.
Darby alerts Kate she has a customer at the other window. Kate sees her grandmother (Pamela Dunlap) and then immediately hears a crash in the parking area. Tatiana (Emily Foxler) has plowed her car into a light pole. Darby and Kate rush to the damaged car. Tatiana immerses with a sore neck. Darby can leave for her night for her date with Harley. Back in the custard shop, Kate's grandmother wishes Kate a happy birthday. Kate's sister Terry drops Kate a birthday present which she later discovers is two marijuana joints. Kate's grandmother promises to make Kate a cake, but leaves to work in the craft store.
As Kate takes out the garbage, she sees a man masterbating in his car. Kate tells Rene who calls Bobby. Bobby fails to pursue the perpetrator because his car is low on gas and orders dinner.
As Tatiana and Kate wait for customers outside, they have a wide-ranging discussion on parental relationships and fantasy sex. Tatiana admits her attraction to Rene. Kate learns Darby told Tatiana that Kate wants a birthday kiss. Kate is furious with Darby and scolds her about telling Tatiana she has not been kissed and is having sex on her birthday. Then Kate calls Jordan expressing her availability. A motorcycle gang appears again and Tatiana and Kate flee to the storage room. This time the bikers are male, and Rene is forced to wait on a biker named Cand (Stewart H. Butler)i. Rene alerts the girls when the bikers leave. Harley appears at the window looking for Darby. Kate explains that Rene microwaved their cell phones and that is why Hatley cannot reach Darby. Kate calls Darby's mother's cell phone to leave a message expressing approval for Darby's assumed decision of not going through with losing her virginity.
Kate practices her first kiss in the bathroom mirror. Rene finds Kate's birthday marijuana. Believing Louise left if for him, Rene smokes a joint with Tatiana in the back room. Tatiana makes her move on Rene sliding her hand up his thigh. Kate interrupts telling Tatiana she has a customer. Tatiana says she is numb in the eyes and overfills a cone using the ice cream dispenser. Darby breaks out in a rash from the marijuana. When Louise returns, she calls the county clinic to arrange for Tatiana to be seen by a physician. Kate arranges for Darby to return so Louise can keep her date.
Louise gives Kate the necklace she is wearing and tells Kate she is like the daughter she never had. They share a hug. Kate encourages Louise to dress for her date. Louise puts on high heels and lipstick. Ronald arrives at Kate's window. Kate reveals Ronald's date is with her boss. Kate introduces Louise to Ronald. Kate asks if they know each other, but they tell Kate they do not. Once inside Ronald's van, Louise tells Ronald she did not know he was back in town. Ronald explains he has been back about a month tending to his sick mother. They both assure each other they want to proceed with the date. Kate waves goodbye from the malt shop.
Back reading her book, Kate pictures herself as the center of a shaming of communists in China. Kate is kneeling on a chair and wearing a dunce cap as the crowd accuses her of being a boy crazy slut. Kate blurts out that she has never been kissed, and the crowd chastises her for that status making her a pathetic loser.
Louise and Ronald are eating ice cream parked by the river. Ronald is surprised Louise stayed in town. Louise explains how she came to run the ice cream stand. Louise says she was previously married and has one son. Ronald says he was married for 12 years and then divorced. The couple share a 12 year old daughter.
Kate pits on headphones and is dancing inside the stand when her favorite customer Carson appears. Kate is embarrassed what the young man may have seen dancing and acting silly. Kate learns that her crush worked at the boat docks and got discounts on water ski equipment of which Carson is an enthusiast. Kate also learns Amber (Julie Michelson), the girl he was with earlier is his neighbor in the summer homes and is just a friend of Carson's.
Kate is about to hypothetically ask Carson about a kiss when Darby comes back to work. After Carson leaves, Kate is curious if Darby lost her virginity, but Darby avoids the subject. Darby gives Kate her birthday present, a half-eaten jar of cashews. Kate refuses to share any with Darby.
Jordan appears at the window with his girlfriend. Darby ducks below out of sight. Jordan orders a shake while his girlfriend refuses because the stand does not offer cherry flavored shakes. When Kate retrieves the shake, she accidentally steps on Darby's hand giving away her location. Darby is sarcastic when she greets Jordan. Jordan's girlfriend is surprised Darby knew Jordan's name. Jordan describes Darby as local trash to his girlfriend.
Darby has run off and locked herself in the cooler. Kate pulls the plug to turn off the lights in the cooler. A short time later, a still upset Darby immerses. Darby goes on to tell Kate that when she left work at 4:00 p.m., she ran into Jordan. He invited her to hang out on his boat. Jordan appeared to be really into Darby and she ended up losing her virginity to Jordan. Kate scolds Darby for losing it to someone she does not love but is a total player.
Just then Harley arrives. Harley has seen Darby's mother's car parked nearby, so it is useless for Kate to try and cover for Darby. Darby appears from below the service window. She tries to tell Harley that she missed their date running errands for her mother. Harley, however, has spoken with Darby's mother in his search for Darby for their special date. He also learned from his friend Darby was seen with one of the summer residents down by the boathouse. Harley demands the extra set of keys to his truck. Rene retrieves them for Darby who hands them to Harley. Before Harley leaves, he dumps a chocolate malt on Kate at the other window claiming she wanted to break Darby and himself up.
Darby claims Kate is emotionally tin and never masterbated. Kate exclaims loudly that she has masterbated allot just as Candi the biker appears. Candi says he does not like her attitude and wants to be waited on by the cook. Candi is almost flirtatious with Rene and appreciates Rene's offer of a hot fudge sundae.
The tension continues between Kate and Darby. Darby tells Kate she does not like to be judged. Kate defends herself saying she has a finally honed sense of right and wrong. Darby tells Kate she reads too much and knows too much about the Holocaust, the Black experience in America and chap stick addiction. Kate finds such topics interesting.
Meanwhile on their date, Ronny and Louise are parked on the banks of the Mississippi River. Kate asks for permission to smoke and Ronald turns on some music. Louise has a beautiful voice and sings the words to the piano music. Ronald is impressed. At the ice cream shop, Rene, Kate and Darby are cleaning up and preparing to close. Ronald and Louise reflect on Ronald's snowmobile accident. Ronald became a paraplegic racing a snowmobile to impress Louise when he was 16. Ronald does not want Louise to feel sorry for him, but Louise admits that by losing their relationship, she is feeling sorry for herself. Their conversation is interrupted by a couple getting physical in the car next to them.
As Kate puts up the "Closed" sign on the door, Rene is cleaning up in the bathroom. Kate watches in shock as Rene leaves the ice cream stand for a waiting Candi on his motorcycle. Rene and Candi ride off together. When Kate takes out the garbage, the same man as previous is masterbating in his car nearby. Kate musters up her courage, marches over to the car, and threatens the man with her stun gun forcing him to leave.
Unfortunately, when Kate turns around, she stuns Carson riding up to Kate on his bike. Darby and Tatiana are there to take Kate out for her birthday. Kate helps Carson dust himself off and asks him to hang out. Carson, seeing Kate's friends, says it is probably not the best time, but Kate makes her preference known. Just then, Jordan and his girlfriend pull up in their car. Jordan's girlfriend encourages Carson to go with them to a season ending party. Kate takes her stun gun and demands that Jordan apologize to Darby. She zaps Jordan. Jordan apologizes before the car peels out. Kate drops the stun gun and retreats inside the restaurant. Darby and Tatiana are soon to follow.
Once inside, the three girls share a group hug. Darby gives Kate her necklace for her birthday, the one Kate envied and asked her father to buy her. Kate tells Darby that one day Darby will meet the right man and will have a good sexual experience. Darby surprisingly counters that the sex with Jordan was fantastic. She just did not care about the guy. Darby also comes to the realization that she is not attracted to or in love with Harley.
Tatiana brings in ice cream with a burning candle. Darby reveals she liberated her mother's orange vodka. Tatiana declines say she is eight years sober. Kate is shocked that Tatiana was an alcoholic at age 15. Despite her friends intention to party, Kate says she is not in the mood.
Kate steps outside. Carson is still waiting for her holding her stun gun. They sit outside the stand having a random conversation about plans after high school, travel and where they would choose to live. Interlocking pinkie fingers, they eventually hold hands. Kate asks Carson if he will return to the area after school starts, but Carson reveals they are closing up their summer home after that weekend.
Kate leads Carson inside the ice cream shop. She grabs a scissors, declares she is going to cut her leg off and begins removing her cast. Outside, Ronald and Louise pull up in Ronald's van. As they tell each other how much they enjoyed the evening, Bobby pulls up waiting to cite Ronald for making an illegal turn into the parking lot. Louise steps out of the van and chastises her son which disintegrates into an argument about Louise's desire to not sell her ice cream stand and Louise's relationship with Bobby's father. When a marijuana joint falls out of Louise's jacket, she pleads innocence, but Bobby wants to arrest his mother. Louise goes back inside the van to tell Ronald what has happened. Ronald stares at Louise until she kisses him. Bobby is tapping on the window again.
Kate frees her foot from the cast. She stands up and is poised to kiss Carson when the sounds of sirens come from outside. Kate and Carson immerge from the stand to see Louise being arrested by her son and put into the police car. When Kate tries to intervene, Bobby warns her to stay away. Kate envisions the scene within the context of the Chinese Revolution. Ronald tells Kate he will get Louise out and that Kate should meet them at the police station. Carson and Kate grab their bicycles. Before they leave, Carson and Kate gaze at each other. Carson pleads, "Don't make me beg " and the two share their first kiss just moments before the clock at the ice cream stand shows midnight. They ride off down the street. Kate has only one shoe on.
Kate declares the next book she is reading is Russian authored book that Tatiana gave her about a woman who throws herself under a train because she cannot be with the man she loves. The narrator warns that it looks like we are in for several months of depressing Russian writers.
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