Penny: Sheldon, what are you going to have?
Sheldon: I'll have a Diet Coke.
Penny: Okay, can you please order a cocktail? I need to practice mixing drinks.
Sheldon: Fine. I'll have a virgin Cuba Libre.
Penny: That's, um, Rum and Coke without the Rum.
Penny: So, Coke.
Sheldon: Yes... And would you make it Diet?
Penny: There's a can in the fridge.
Sheldon: A Cuba Libre traditionally comes in a tall glass with a lime wedge.
Penny: Then swim to Cuba.
Sheldon: Bartenders are supposed to have people skills.
Leonard: [Sheldon is singing "L'Chaim" at Penny's bar] I can't believe it! What got into him?
Penny: Oh, maybe a couple of virgin Cuba Libres that turned out to be kinda slutty.
Leonard: You didn't.
Penny: Hey, you do your experiments, I do mine.
Raj Koothrappali: [Raj walks in Leonard and Sheldon's apartment holding his laptop open, with his parents on the screen via a webcam] Leonard, may I present, live from New Delhi, Doctor and Mrs Vyan Koothrappali.
Leonard: [waves cheerfully] Hi!
Dr. Koothrappali: Lift up the camera! I'm looking at his crotch!
Raj Koothrappali: [to Sheldon] If you do not stop hitting on my lady, you will feel the full extent of my wrath!
Leonard: I'm not hitting on her!
Lalita: And I am not your lady!
Wolowitz: And you have no wrath.
Penny: I need some guinea pigs.
Sheldon: O-kay, there's a lab animal supply company in Reseda you could try. But if your research is going to have human applications, may I suggest white mice instead; their brain chemistry is far closer to ours.
Penny: I swear to God, Sheldon, one day I'm going to get the hang of talking to you.
Leonard: His mom's been saying that for years.
Leonard: Okay, now do you really need the Honorary Justice League of America membership card?
Sheldon: It's been in every wallet I've owned since I was five.
Sheldon: It says, "Keep this on your person at all times". It's right here under Batman's signature.
Wolowitz: Is it just me, or does web chatting with your clothes on seem a little pointless.
Leonard: Well Penny, we'd love to help you, but Raj is going through some stuff right now, besides, he doesn't drink, so.
Leonard: [Raj whispers in Leonard's ear, Leonard responds] Really?
Leonard: [to Penny] Um, Raj is going through some stuff right now, and he'd like to take up drinking.
Sheldon: [on the phone] This is Doctor Sheldon Cooper. Yeah, I need to cancel my membership to the Planetarium... Well I'm sorry too, but there's just no room for you in my wallet... Yeah, I understand, but it was between you and the Museum of Natural History, and frankly, you don't have dinosaurs... Well I'll miss you too. Bye bye.
Raj Koothrappali: Ever since I was a little boy, my father wanted me to be a gynecologist, like him. How can I be a gynecologist, I can barely look a woman in the *eye*!