Synopsis for
"Dirty Sexy Money" The Birthday Present (2008)

The second season opens with a not-terribly thrilled looking Nick in back of limo driving up to yacht where a celebration is in full swing. While the press thought it was a fundraising event for Patrick's Senate campaign, they are disappointed to report that it is a birthday party for Nick, who is only the family lawyer.

As Nick emerges from limo, he's met by Tripp, Leticia, Patrick and a gaggle of reporters; it appears that Nick has somehow negotiated a truce between Tripp and Patrick, and he plays the dutiful family spokesperson as he arrives at his own birthday party and tells the gathered press that yes, the family will be supporting Patrick's Senate campaign, to what extent is yet unclear. Queen's "Under Pressure" underscores the scene, and it really does seem that Nick is under some pressure, but exactly why is not evident.

With his official duty out of the way, Nick glances around the party (was the party planner for this event previously employed by a wealthy West Coast family called the Bluths? It all seems very familiar somehow. Hmm.) and asks Trip, Leticia and Patrick if they've seen his wife Lisa, and no one seems to know if she's there or not. Tripp wonders where Patrick's wife Ellen is and alludes to her drinking -- it sounds like Ellen spent the six months that have passed since the last episode getting her drink on -- and Patrick replies that he's not sure. He hasn't seen her because he's just returned from boating in the Hamptons for the past few days with Brian... which seems odd. Leticia mentions that she thought Lisa would arrive with Nick; uh oh, this doesnt bode well. Two wives missing, and we're not even a minute into the season premiere? From there, the exposition fairy follows Nick through the swanky crowd like a little puppy, revealing to us that while Patrick and Tripp are tentatively working together, there may barely concealed issues there; Karen (now with fabulous bangs) seems to be still doing something vaguely spy-like in her involvement with Simon Elder, as Nick sees her handing something stealthily off to Tripp. Brian, no longer a man of the cloth but instead a worker bee at Darling Enterprises, looks none too happy to be working for Tripp, and just wants more champagne. He also appears to need about a gallon of aloe vera gel, as he has an impressive sunburn that he explains away as a result of spending the past few days sailing with Patrick in the Hamptons.

Again, Nick heads through the crowd in search of Lisa. When he finds her a few moments later, they're distant and uncomfortable, and she asks if they're okay. Before the exposition fairy can further enlighten us as to just what's gone wrong in the past six months, Trip interrupts, proposes a toast to Nick and presents him with a set of keys which turn out to be for the very yacht on which they're standing and celebrating. As the shock registers on Nick's face, police helicopters swoop in and sweep the party with their searchlights, and everyone asks him what happening, and what he's done. Nick has no idea whatsoever. (And again, I say: this party sure seems quite familiar. )

And we're traveling back in time, 48 hours earlier, to be precise.

Nick and Lisa are at home as he explains to her that the Darlings are insisting on throwing a party for his birthday, and he can't just refuse, especially since he spent the last 6 months mending fences between Tripp and Patrick. Must be some fence, says Lisa, as she agrees to have a fancy dinner with him the night before his birthday, instead. There doesn't seem to be any more trouble in paradise than usual at this point, so something not so good must be on the horizon. She's on her way out to search for a new gallery job.

Patrick, Tripp and Nick are in a tense summit in Tripp's office to discuss the terms of their truce, but it's soon clear that Patrick still has problems with Tripp's control issues, and that Tripp still has issues with Patrick's alliance with Darling business rival Simon Elder. Soon, the strained discussion devolves into an argument about Patrick's wife, who it appears has been making a drunken spectacle of herself at campaign events. The disagreement escalates, and Patrick tells Tripp that he wants him out of his life for good. Nick's best efforts to calm the situation here are useless, as Patrick storms out.

As Lisa exits their apartment, she encounters a Jeremy waiting outside on a Vespa and calling out to her in Italian; it turns out he's been outside the building each morning for the last 17 days straight, wanting to talk to Lisa because he can't forget the kiss they shared 6 months earlier. (Hey, did they mention that six months have passed in Darling world? Well, they have. Just so you know) Lisa demurs and wants the kiss forgotten; she's having dinner with Nick for his birthday at a fancy restaurant that evening, for goodness sake, which is totally the universal symbol of a wife being committed to her husband, okay? Jeremy is crushed.

Next, we're with Karen and Simon post-romp at his loft that same morning, her breakfast of champions is apparently gin and OJ, without the OJ. As Simon pours Karen her liquid breakfast, and asks her to a botanical fundraiser; she accepts, but has familial obligations to attend to first. Karen snoops around as Simon pours, and when she's caught, she grabs a crystal swan figurine and asks him about it. A suddenly serious Simon says that he thinks of it as an ugly duckling, and bought it when he was poor and first came to New York, and that he keeps it as reminder of the possibilities for change and transformation, before telling Karen that he loves her, to which she replies "Thank you." Awkwardness ensues. (And a crystal swan? Seriously? That's too much like the whole Ross and Rachel/crystal duck/declaration of love scene for comfort; is sleek, too-cool billionaire Simon Elder modeling his love life on a "Friends" episode?)

Shortly thereafter, Karen appears at Nick's office, saying she's there to give him his birthday present and proceeds to drop her jacket, revealing a serious lack of clothing. Despite the fact that she even brought grappa, Nick tells her to put her coat back on. She explains that she's kind of freaking out because Simon said he loves her, and she just feels bad. An increasingly frustrated Nick says that he's not her exit ramp, the guy she returns to when something goes awry with whichever fellow she's seeing at the time, and Karen doesn't exactly deny that. Nick spines up and tells her no way, no how is he ever going to be romantically involved with her, and it looks as though she actually might, for the first time, believe that he's not interested. She leaves, throwing a sincere but disappointed Happy Birthday greeting as she heads out the door.

Meanwhile, Brian and his baby mama Andrea are arguing over she and Brian Jr.'s return visas to Brazil being continually delayed, which has extended what was supposed a one week visit to a several week stay. Andrea asks him to tell her that he doesn't have anything to do with the delay, and he completely denies any involvement, citing paperwork issues being a common problem. Uh huh. Tripp interrupts and pulls Brian aside, asking him counsel Patrick's wife Ellen regarding her alcohol issues. Brian flatly refuses, stating that he left the church because he didn't want to have to care about other people's problems anymore, like he had to when Trip sent him to a factory in Europe to fire all those people. Tripp, in his own imperious way, is displeased.

Elsewhere, Patrick is meeting with his oily bohunk of a private investigator, who reveals that hes been unable to find any sign of Carmelita at all. He thinks she doesn't want to be found, and suggests that Patrick should go home to his beautiful wife. Patrick, tells him to keep looking, and then does exactly what the PI recommended: goes home to Ellen, who is already very, very drunk and angry, verbally accosting him as he walks in the door about Carmelita, campaigning for Senate, you name it. Good evening, Foster Brooks, replies Patrick. When Ellen pleadingly asks what did she ever did to him, he reminds her that she did shoot him in the leg. Excellent point, Patrick.

Cut to Jeremy, who is doing his best sulky drunkard impression at a classy bar, when a mysterious, attractive woman (Lucy Liu) appears next to him and reveals that shes been visiting the place for weeks, hoping to meet him. Who's the girl you're mooning over, she asks? Jeremy, in his completely charming Jeremy-esque way, shares that he "over-extended himself, heart-wise." Mysterious Lucy Liu advises him to not take no for an answer, sometimes a girl just wants a guy to push, that it makes her feel pretty. Then she thanks him for the drink as she downs his scotch, and disappears in the cozy darkness of the bar.

As Patrick showers, Ellen's agitation grows and she digs through Patrick's briefcase, where she finds the PI's file on Carmelita. This directly results in a quick trip over to the fireplace then up the stairs to the bathroom, where she deftly (especially for a very drunk person) runs the fireplace poker through the shower door, shattering it and sending Patrick cowering to the corner of the shower. As she says that she had Carmelita taken care of and winds up for a big swing at Patrick, she slips and falls on the shattered shower door glass, hitting her head on the floor in an obviously fatal manner. Oops! Patrick grabs the bathroom phone off the wall and calls someone, begging for help. That someone is a calm, focused Tripp, who asks what Patrick needs and what he can do for him

And we're back, with Nick in the elevator up to Patrick's suite, talking to Lisa on his cell and assuring her that he'll join her for their special birthday dinner as soon as he deals with whatever Patrick needs. Chauffeur Clark (yay! Clark's back!) lets him into the suite, and Nick is shocked to see a very dead Ellen on the floor of the bathroom, with Patrick and Tripp standing over her. Nick tells them that somebody had better start talking. Now.

Meanwhile, Lisa is waiting at the restaurant and drinking wine, waiting for Nick to arrive. Jeremy shows up suddenly; the maitre d' of the restaurant is an old friend, tipped him off that they had the reservation, and so he brought wine for Nick and Lisa's celebratory dinner. Since Nick's a no-show so far, he sits down to share the wine with her as she waits.

Back at the suite, Tripp explains that he came because Patrick called and asked for help but was upset and couldn't explain why. Tripp then called Nick to come and help them, and proceeds to imply, in his vague way, that he wants Nick to move/dispose of Ellen's body. Nick angrily refuses, and tells them to call police as they should have already done, and only to call him when they actually need an attorney.

Then we're back to Karen and Simon, and she's backing out of attending the botanical fundraiser. He knows what this is all about, she's freaking out because he told her he loves her; he reiterates that he did so because he truly likes spending time with her. Also, he mentions that he knows she was spying on him for daddy, which she tries to deny, rather unsuccessfully. He then reveals that he's developing a magical superfuel that's completely efficient and waste-free, and hands her test tube to take to daddy to make him happy, which is what she wants to do, right? Oooh, slam. Totally busted, too.

Lisa and Jeremy are now outside the restaurant, obviously having finished the bottle of wine he brought and perhaps a few more. Lisa knows she's had too much wine, and thanks Jeremy for saving her from a night of self pity. "Don't kiss me," she says, and yet he does, and she digs it for a split second, then pushes him away, and after a bit of arguing, the Jeremy magic works, and they start kissing in earnest, when of course, Nick appears, sees the spectacle, and leaves in disgust, despite Lisa giving chase.

Nate retreats to his office, and ignores his cell ringing to continue moodily drinking champagne and talking to someone in the room -- oooh, its Karen.Question: do all the Darlings walk around with bottles of alcohol, looking for people in need of consolation? Nick says there's got to be people in the world who are simple, clean and generally do things that lead to good things happening. After talking about how maybe it's not about being good people or bad, that maybe it just all comes down to attraction, they're almost kissing..and Karen stops, telling Nick "You're" drunk to which he immediately replies, "You're beautiful" -- perfect screwball timing here, and still sincere. They almost kiss again, but she can't, as she's thinking about Simon. They're further interrupted as the office phone rings, and its Tripp summoning Nick for an 8 a.m. meeting tomorrow. Karen insists that they're not a bad combo, they just have bad timing, as she leaves him with a kiss on cheek. He actually looks sad to see her go.

Brian asks Leticia where Andrea and Brian Jr. have gone, and she explains that their visas cleared and they caught a flight back to Brazil. It seems Tripp may have cleared the obstacles to their visas, and Brian is peeved and heads in search of him.

At what appears to be the Darlings' country estate, Clark drives up, gets out of the limo, opens the trunk, and we see a woman's feet inside, really not moving. Clark flips open a lighter...

The next morning, Nick and Tripp are meeting and arguing rather loudly. "People aren't costs, Tripp, they're people," says Nick, upset at Tripp's casual dismissal of Ellen's death and the ease with which he wanted Nick to cover it up. Tripp theorizes that Ellen did not have the strength to play her role as a strong wife, not like of the strength of Nick's own marriage, and Nick bitterly opines "Yeah, I'm a lucky man." Trip wants him to help Patrick with whatever is needed, and urges Nick to become part of the family, to stop resisting them and let them into his life. While Tripp is trying his best to get Nick to conform, dammit, conform, with questionable results, Jeremy pops in to Tripp's office to say he can't come to Nick's party that night, not realizing Nick is in the room. Nick calls Jeremy back, tells him he just needs one thing, then cleanly knocks him out, and tells Trick that he'll be at his office if anything is needed.

Back at Nick and Lisa's, things are grim. He doesn't think each of them kissing other people is a game, and she voices, once again, the concern that she and Kiki are losing him to the Darlings, just like what happened with his father.

Brian finally finds Tripp and accuses him of freeing up the visa paperwork because Brian refused to counsel Ellen. Tripp lays a blackmail guilt trip double-whammy: if Brian had helped counsel Ellen, perhaps the visa paperwork wouldn't have cleared up. He asks/requires that Brian tell everyone at the party tonight that he spent the last 2 days sailing with Patrick in Hamptons, and to get in the tanning bed to make it look real.

Karen shows up at Simon Elder's loft and he asks what daddy thought about the superfuel vial; she says she didn't give to him. She explains that in her whole life, there's been one man who mattered (Nick) but feels something is happening with Simon that could change that, and it scares her, but she likes it. Karen leaves for the birthday party, and Simon tells her to come back to the loft after the shindig, and she agrees to do. After she leaves, Simon calls someone: " Yeah, its me. We've got her."

Jeremy's at the same bar again, head down with sunglasses covering a black eye and a half gone bottle of scotch sitting next to him. Mysterious Lucy Liu sidles up, and Jeremy tells her he's a mistake. She wonders if it's a mistake that he came back to the bar where she is, if it's a mistake that she's standing there talking to him, or if it would be a mistake to take her to the limo parked outside to do something that can only be whispered (damn censors). Needless to say, they head out to said limo, things get steamy, and they both agree doing so was not a mistake.

Two of the Darlings' maids watch a TV report of massive fire at the Darlings' country compound, and ask Chauffeur Clark if they should call and tell the family. He says no, the news would only ruin the party.

And now we're back, revisiting Nick's entrance at the party from the beginning of the show. We see things that were unclear the first time, including at least 3 reasons why Nick is under pressure, what Leticia, Tripp and Patrick are really working to cover up, why Brian's face is really so sunburned, and why Ellen and Lisa are missing -- obviously for very different reasons. We see that the item Karen hands Tripp stealthily is Simon's crystal swan, and that Nick and Karen may still have personal issues to work through.

As the helicopters and their search lights appear again, we hear the question "What did you do, Nick?" from Patrick and Tripp, to which he replies "I didn't do anything."

When a detective and police board the yacht and Nick asks what seems to be the problem, the detective apologizes to Patrick for having to do this now, and but they need to make an arrest for murder. There's a moment of sheer terror on Patrick's face before the detective and police head toward Leticia, who they're charging with the murder of Dutch George! She looks as confused and shocked as we feel as she's lead away by at least 8 officers (um, folks, she's wearing heels and and a formal gown, how much can she possibly do to escape?) and calls to Nick for help, who is also suitably stunned. Happy birthday? For Nick, not so much.