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"House M.D." Whatever It Takes (TV Episode 2007) Poster

(TV Series)

(2007)

Quotes

Dr. Gregory House: You've gotta get down here. They've got a satellite aimed directly into Cuddy's vagina. I told them that chances of invasion are slim to none but...

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Dr. Gregory House: My friends call me "The Cane." Even before I messed up my leg.

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Dr. Gregory House: FYI, my malpractice insurance doesn't cover alien autopsies.

Samira Terzi: That's fine. X-files are the next wing over.

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Dr. Gregory House: You idiot.

Dr. Samira Terzi: Who are you calling an idiot?

Dr. Gregory House: Whoever knew that John was stationed in Brazil, not Bolivia.

Dr. Samira Terzi: Brazil?

Dr. Gregory House: [House turns and faces Agent Smith] Well, then, I guess, I'm talking to you, idiot.

CIA Agent Smith: It's the same region. It's the same parasite,same diseases.

Dr. Gregory House: But not the same language. In Bolivia, chestnuts are chestnuts.Brazil, on the other hand, has Castanhas-do-Pará, literally, "Chestnuts from Pará."Because it would be stupid for people from Brazil to call them Brazil Nuts.

CIA Agent Smith: So he ate Brazil nuts. Big Deal.

Dr. Gregory House: No, he ate a lot of Brazil Nuts, Which is a big deal, because they contain selenium. Which, in high doses, causes fatigue, vomiting, skin irritation, discharge from the fingernail beds, and hair loss. Any of this sound familiar?

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Dr. Eric Foreman: That's it? You're just gonna let him walk.

Dr. Gregory House: Of course, I want him as far away from the hospital, before YOU call the police on this nutbag!... Who did I leave in charge?

Taub: Foreman.

Dr. Gregory House: See? There's a *reason* for that. Next time, listen to him.

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CIA Agent Smith: So what's the problem?

Samira Terzi: You're an idiot!

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Dr. Gregory House: You know, I happen to have a position available on my penis. Wait a second, I think I screwed up that joke.

Samira Terzi: You're offering me a job?

Dr. Gregory House: I'll settle for that.

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Dr. Gregory House: Horse chestnuts may look like chestnuts, but they taste like a horse's lower-than-chest-nuts.

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Samira Terzi: This is Dr. Sidney Curtis from the Mayo Clinic. He's also agreed to help with the diagnosis.

Dr. Curtis: Dr. House.

Dr. Gregory House: "Curtis on Immunology" Sidney Curtis?

Dr. Curtis: Oh, you've read it?

Dr. Gregory House: Nope! But it is keeping my piano level.

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Dr. Gregory House: Wanna ditch Dr. Killjoy and hop on the company jet? A little trip down Mexico way? I'm not talking about the country or the plane.

Dr. Gregory House: You think acting like an idiot and talking about sex works on girls?

Dr. Gregory House: Well if it didn't, the human race would have died out long ago.

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Dr. Gregory House: Does the "I" in CIA stand for irony?

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Dr. Gregory House: I know how to kill a man with my thumb!

Dr. Lisa Cuddy: Who doesn't?

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Dr. Gregory House: If I have to walk somewhere, there better be at least five girls involved. And they'd better be working their way through college.

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[refering to the CIA agent]

Dr. Lawrence Kutner: Who's your friend?

Dr. Gregory House: We use the term "life-partner."

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Dr. Jeffrey 'Big Love' Cole: That's your breakfast?

Dr. Gregory House: Technically, it's Wilson's lunch.

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See also

Trivia | Goofs | Crazy Credits | Alternate Versions | Connections | Soundtracks

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