Ned: We're not lost. We're following the yellow, thick hose.
Charlotte 'Chuck' Charles: You've got to loosen up!
Ned: I don't do loose. I prefer tightly wound. Not shapeless with extra room for surprises.
Olive Snook: No, no. Five fingers. Five toes. Us Snooks are boring that way. I had a cousin with a third nipple. He'd let you see it for a dollar.
Vivian Charles: How fascinating.
Lily Charles: And a bargain, too.
Olive Snook: Look carefully, ladies; this is your future.
Lily Charles: Is it vodka?
Olive Snook: Water.
Lily Charles: As in Russian for vodka?
Narrator: Anxious to sniff out more information, our heroes sought out Napoleon LeNez, scratch-'n-sniff author, in his suite above the city and immediately found themselves in an alarming situation.
Napoleon LeNez: Do not be alarmed by the situation.
Olive Snook: It's from the Pie Hole from across the street, as in Shut your. But one sweet whiff and people usually want to open their...
Emerson Cod: LeNez, look: we're here about that scratch 'n sniff. Your book was a bomb...
Napoleon LeNez: Who are you to criticize my life's work?
Emerson Cod: Your book... was a bomb... it exploded.
Anchorwoman: Here with us now is an eyewitness to Oscar Vibenius' attempt on your life earlier today. Sir, tell us what you saw.
Emerson Cod: Good evening, Carol. Let me preface my statement by saying that my name is Emerson Cod, I'm a private investigator: if you need to reach me, my telephone number is Klondike 5-0-1-5-5. I've been investigating the Anita Gray murder. She was taken much too soon...
Charlotte 'Chuck' Charles: [watching the interview on TV] Get a load of Muggy McHambone.
Olive Snook: Hocking his wares... He just gave out his phone number on national television.