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"NCIS" Designated Target (TV Episode 2007) Poster

(TV Series)

(2007)

Quotes

Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: I'm surprised you could understand him, Ziva. He spoke perfect English.

Officer Ziva David: You're xenophobic!

Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: I am not Xena-phobic! It's one of my favorite shows: leather skirts, lesbian sword fighting, female empowerment. Maybe I'm a little... Ziva-phobic.

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Officer Ziva David: Do you see what I see?

Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: Crazy Israeli chick with impulse issues?

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Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: [smacked in the head yet again by Gibbs] You know, repeated trauma to the head can cause brain damage.

Special Agent Timothy McGee: Explains a lot.

Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: Is this side of my head bigger?

Officer Ziva David: Yes, but so is the other side.

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Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: How long have you been in this country?

Officer Ziva David: Why?

Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: Well, you've never heard of gypsy cabs, you don't use contractions. Assimilate already.

Officer Ziva David: [confused] What are contraptions?

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Abby Sciuto: Ok, Love is never having to read her her Miranda Rights.

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Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs: [after noticing lipstick on McGee's collar] Good for you, Tim. Good for you. Just don't ever get married.

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Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs: [as McGee is explaining what he's doing on the computer] Less narration, McGee.

Special Agent Timothy McGee: Tracing.

Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: [to Ziva, as McGee's fingers continue to fly on the computer keyboard] Look at that. It's incredible. Probie's lips are still moving - while he's working! It's like one of those Romanian orphans who can't stop rocking.

Officer Ziva David: You are so prejudiced.

Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: I am not. I'm not! By the way, that's a contraction. *I'm.* You should try it sometime.

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Abby Sciuto: My meter is running full blast, Gibbs

Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs: Relax Abs, I think you just solved the case.

Abby Sciuto: I did?

[as she turns to Ziva]

Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs: [Gibbs walks into squad room] Meters?

Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: -a form of measurement used extensively in Europe.

Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs: Taxi meters, DiNozzo

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Officer Ziva David: [On phone] No, no, no, it's not you, it's just... well, you know, these things run their course and... well, you, you must accept that...

Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: Personal call, David?

Officer Ziva David: Yes. Go away.

Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: Somebody being dumped?

Officer Ziva David: [Covers mouthpiece] How do you tell someone you no longer want to see them?

Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: Easy.

[Takes phone]

Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: Listen, Dirtbag, this is Ziva's husband. I have your phone number now. I can find your address. If you ever try to contact her again, I will reach down your throat, grab your intestines, rip them out and drive over your head. Lose this number or lose your life.

[Hangs up]

Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: You're welcome.

Officer Ziva David: That was my Aunt Nettie from Tel Aviv. She was trying to stop seeing her 86-year-old mahjong partner.

Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: Why didn't you stop me?

Officer Ziva David: Too stunned.

Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: Where do I send flowers?

Officer Ziva David: If you communicate with her again, I will kill you.

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Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: Take my money, take my money, take my money. Give me my candy.

[Hits vending machine when it rejects the wrinkled note]

Officer Ziva David: You cannot buck the system, Tony.

Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: Trade bucks with me?

[Ziva hands over a stack of coins in exchange for the wrinkled note]

Officer Ziva David: If you stop forcing things, they will come to you.

Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: Thank you, Obi-Wan.

Officer Ziva David: Why don't you like immigrants?

Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: What? My great-grandparents came through Ellis Island. Not the first class lounge at El Al.

Officer Ziva David: I came here in the jump seat of a C-130 with turbulence.

Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: Whatever. My point is, you're here on a weekend fun pass. I'm the immigrant. My family came here with nothing. Just loads of charm, talent and great looks. My great-grandfather drove a truck for $2 a day. Took him 20 years to start his own transportation company. And now their great-grandson is an NCIS agent. So don't tell me about the immigrant experience. Until you are one.

Officer Ziva David: Any of that true?

Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: Parts.

[Takes a bite of the candy bar, then shows her his teeth]

Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: Is this stuck in my teeth.

Officer Ziva David: Nothing sticks to you.

[Uses the wrinkled note and it works]

Officer Ziva David: Do you ever think about soul mates?

Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: They were on Decca, right? Big hit mid-'70s. Sort of a disco thing. Sing a few bars, I'll get it.

Officer Ziva David: You'll never get it.

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See also

Trivia | Goofs | Crazy Credits | Alternate Versions | Connections | Soundtracks

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