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"Gossip Girl" All About My Brother (TV Episode 2008) Poster

(TV Series)

(2008)

Quotes

Serena van der Woodsen: Why the long face? Are you still sad Mom wouldn't let you go to Monte Carlo for the bachelor party?

Eric van der Woodsen: No, I'm fine, I figured I'd let Bart, Chuck, and Prince Albert have their fun - ah, that didn't come out like I meant it.

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Serena van der Woodsen: These rumors are getting to be ridiculous.

Eric van der Woodsen: Oh, like the one where I'm Gossip Girl.

Serena van der Woodsen: [laughing] Hey, it made sense at the time, you have to admit!

Eric van der Woodsen: It didn't make any sense.

Serena van der Woodsen: It did! Yeah, it did.

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Serena van der Woodsen: It's a snub from one party, B. Plus, what's the big deal, anyway? You don't even like Asher.

Blair Waldorf: I didn't like last season's Louis Vuitton patchwork bag, either, but that doesn't mean I wanna see it all over town on Jenny Humphrey's arm.

Serena van der Woodsen: Touche.

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Lily van der Woodsen: Well, if Serena's indiscretions were as PG as Jenny's, I wouldn't have needed the botox.

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Serena van der Woodsen: Blair...

[Serena just entered Blair's house]

Blair Waldorf: Serena what are you doing here it's late?

[Serena starts to cry]

Blair Waldorf: Oh my god, what happened, what's wrong? Talk to me.

Serena van der Woodsen: I can't.

Blair Waldorf: Of course you can.

Serena van der Woodsen: No, no B this is the one thing I can't tell you, I can't tell anyone.

Blair Waldorf: I'm not anyone, I'm me. You can tell me anything.

Serena van der Woodsen: No I can't because then that would make you a part of it and you can't be a part of this.

Blair Waldorf: What are you talking about, your starting to scare me.

[Serena crys more]

Blair Waldorf: Hey, hey, hey we're sisters. Your my family, what is you is me. There's nothing you could ever say to make me let go. I love you. What is it?

Serena van der Woodsen: I killed someone.

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Lily van der Woodsen: Really, Rufus, what were you thinking? You threw her a surprise birthday party and had her face painted on a cake with a tiara?

Rufus Humphrey: It seemed like a good idea at the time.

Lily van der Woodsen: So did flannel and acid wash-jeans, but they weren't flattering either.

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Serena van der Woodsen: Who're talking to?

Eric van der Woodsen: Chuck.

Serena van der Woodsen: You - called Chuck?

Eric van der Woodsen: Yeah, I've been talking to him a lot lately. Guy's got his faults, but he's never judged me.

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Rufus Humphrey: [looking at the Scrabble board] Angry. Change. Trust. Girl.

[looks at Dan]

Rufus Humphrey: Something you wanna talk about?

Dan Humphrey: Who'd have thought Scrabble could be so therapeutic? That last one was a triple word score.

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Gossip Girl: [voice-over] This just in, Asher Hornsby has been spotted locking lips before class but not with his girlfriend. Looks like gentlemen don't prefer blondes, Little J, they prefer other gentlemen. Is this just another round of blanks fired between B and Little J? I'm tired of being the bearer of bad grudges. This is the last item that goes to press without proof.

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Jenny Humphrey: Oh my God, wait, do you have a crush on me or something? Don't be embarrassed, it's totally understandable, and not that unexpected actually. I'm flattered, it's just, my heart belongs to Asher. I've gotta go, but text me, okay?

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Georgina Sparks: [as her good-alter ego Sarah] Seriously, you and Dan are so sweet to adopt me, I'd be a mess without you guys. Acually, more of a mess than I already am.

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Vanessa Abrams: Give her a break, Asher is her first love.

Dan Humphrey: It's infatuation, it's not love.

Georgina Sparks: Yeah, but to a 15-year-old girl I mean, there really isn't much of a difference.

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Isabel Coates: I am so glad Gossip Girl Got her balls back. She was so turning into the new Page 6.

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Gossip Girl: [voice-over] Don't look so sad, Little J! The sun will come out tomorrow, even though your boyfriend did today.

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Blair Waldorf: My, my. If it isn't Little J, risen from the ashes.

Jenny Humphrey: I came to tell you in person. You win

Blair Waldorf: Oh sweetie, we just started to play.

Jenny Humphrey: No, you don't understand. I'm done. With you, with them. All of it.

Blair Waldorf: Just like that, you wave the white flag.

Jenny Humphrey: I lied. And I stole. And I lost the respect of my family. For what? So I can be like you? You asked me before if it was all worth it. And my answer is: It's not.

Blair Waldorf: I tried to warn you. There's a price to pay. I always knew a girl like you couldn't afford it.

Jenny Humphrey: Well, you were right.

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Serena van der Woodsen: Chuck, yes, I'm still fine. I haven't heard from Georgina in two weeks, so if you'd stop calling me I'd finally be rid of all of my monsters. Bye!

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Gossip Girl: [voice-over] Spotted: Jenny Humphrey wading in the Met fountain fishing for change. Blair Waldorf seen dallying with an off-duty doorman at the Blarney Stone on a Monday night. It looks like the battle between the Queen B and Little J has moved from the streets to the blogs. Who's sending this debasing dish? I have a feeling.

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Isabel Coates: [to Jenny] To think, I almost asked you to wear a matching dress tonight!

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Gossip Girl: [voice-over] Don't look so sad, Little J. The sun will come out tomorrow, even though your boyfriend did today.

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Georgina Sparks: Well I had fun, how about you?

Serena van der Woodsen: What do you want from me?

Georgina Sparks: I want things to go back to how they were. Before that night. Before things got so screwed up. We were such good friends and now we can be again.

Serena van der Woodsen: Why would I want to be friends with somebody who blackmails me, who outs my little brother at the dinner table?

Georgina Sparks: Eric was an honest mistake, I would never hurt him.

Serena van der Woodsen: No I don't believe you, I don't believe you about Eric about anything!

Georgina Sparks: Maybe your right. Maybe I did it on purpose

[scoffs]

Georgina Sparks: because I can. Because I know things, about you, about your family, about your boyfriend, and I know them before you do.

[flags down a cab]

Georgina Sparks: Oh, look cab. You get home safe.

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Blair Waldorf: Dan Humphrey, just who I hate to admit I was looking for. Your dirty.

Dan Humphrey: What are you talking about?

Blair Waldorf: Cheating, drinking, drugs, it's all fair game, but outing your sister's boyfriend is dark. How did squeaky clean Humphrey ever come up with that?

Dan Humphrey: I didn't come up with anything.

Blair Waldorf: Oh my god, you know something spill it.

Dan Humphrey: Yeah I might have seen Asher kissing another guy.

Blair Waldorf: So it's true. Who was he kissing?

Dan Humphrey: I dunno I couldn't see but what does that even matter?

Blair Waldorf: Right now Gossip Girl's credibility is the same as tensing mortifies after a few martinis, but if I can prove that his simplicity is more than just a rumor, then they'll break up. That's what you want isn't it?

Dan Humphrey: Well yeah I guess.

Blair Waldorf: Asher's just using your sister as a cover. It's your brotherly duty to save her before becoming the next Katie Holmes.

Dan Humphrey: And your in this to help Jenny?

Blair Waldorf: Motive is irrelevant as long as our in game is the same.

Dan Humphrey: No Blair this is not a game to me okay. I don't want her to get hurt.

Blair Waldorf: Well you should've thought that through before you told all of Manhattan that Jenny's a glorified hag.

Dan Humphrey: You know what your on your own.

Blair Waldorf: Suit yourself.

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Blair Waldorf: Whoever said that money doesn't buy happiness didn't know where to shop. Lucky for me I may have to go out tonight after all.

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Lily van der Woodsen: Where do you think your going?

Serena van der Woodsen: I can't talk right now mom I'll explain later.

Lily van der Woodsen: If you invite an old friend to our quiet family dinner I expect you to stay and eat. You know how I always loved when Georgina came around.

Georgina Sparks: I ran into Lily in the lobby. You totally forgot to tell her I was coming over for dinner.

[kisses Serena on the cheek]

Georgina Sparks: Did you get my present?

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Asher Hornsby: [smug] Whatever you found, it's not what it looks like.

Blair Waldorf: It's always what it looks like. And judging from the texts' and photos' it looks like a little more than friendship.

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Blair Waldorf: My, my, if it isn't little J risen from the ashes.

Jenny Humphrey: I came to tell you in person. You win.

Blair Waldorf: Oh, sweetie, we just started to play.

Jenny Humphrey: No, you don't understand. I'm done. With you, with them, with all of it.

Blair Waldorf: Just like that? You wave the white flag.

Jenny Humphrey: I lied, and I stole, and I lost the respect of my family, for what? So I can be like you? You asked me before if it was all worth it. And my answer is it's not.

Blair Waldorf: I tried to warn you. There's a price to pay. I always knew a girl like you couldn't afford it.

Jenny Humphrey: Well you were right.

Blair Waldorf: Well you put up a good fight... for a freshman.

Jenny Humphrey: Thanks.

Blair Waldorf: Hope you don't expect a hug.

Jenny Humphrey: I don't expect anything anymore.

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Serena van der Woodsen: What's wrong? You look stressed, even for you.

Dan Humphrey: I'm still worried about Jenny.

Blair Waldorf: You mean because she's self-obsessed, self-serving, self-centered, self...

Dan Humphrey: No, no. I wish it was about her, and her self, but it's more about... who she's with. I can't get through to her. I tried, and she just completely blew me off. And she dissed my pants.

Blair Waldorf: Maybe I underestimated her.

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See also

Trivia | Goofs | Crazy Credits | Alternate Versions | Connections | Soundtracks

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