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Paul Blart: Mall Cop (2009) Poster

Quotes

[from trailer]

Paul Blart: [talking to himself] What are you trained to do? Nothing...

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Paul Blart: [Headbutts criminal] No one wins with a headbutt.

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[sees Leon hanging by a rope, being pulled up into the air ducts]

Veck Sims: I wish I had a bat. I would bust you open, see how much candy fell out.

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Pahud: Peanut Blart and jelly! What, what, what's up, man?

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Maya Blart: [reading a dating website] Okay, next question. "Tell me about yourself."

Paul Blart: Let's see. I know a lot about sharks.

Mom: Let me stop you right there.

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Paul Blart: [after showing a Loch Ness Monster tattoo on his lower back that he got while drunk] Yeah... I don't drink.

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Veck Sims: When are you gonna give up, Blart?

Paul Blart: How about now? I'll meet you on the corner of "NE" and "VER"!

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Paul Blart: This lemonade is insane!

Vijay: That's because it's a Margarita, Paul.

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Paul Blart: Scuba-dooby-doo!

[sends a scuba tank into a villain knocking him out]

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Sergeant Howard: Looks like Paul Blart turned into quite the badass.

Commander Kent: Whoa, whoa, whoa. Relax. One thing I know is Paul Blart is not a badass.

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Sergeant Howard: [Chief Brooks has just given Sgt Howard a book of insult comebacks] You and what army?

Chief Brooks: What's wrong with that?

Sergeant Howard: He

[Commander Kent]

Sergeant Howard: *has* an army.

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[from trailer]

Paul Blart: Nobody knows this mall better than I do.

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Veck Sims: It's like my mother always said, if you want something done right, waste them yourself. I'm paraphrasing, but you get the idea.

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[Last Line]

Paul Blart: Thank you sir, but I think I'm going to stick with what I do best. That's protecting the people of the West Orange Pavilion Mall.

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Paul Blart: If you remember one thing from today, it's this: the mind is the only weapon that doesn't need a holster.

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[from trailer]

Paul Blart: Safety never takes a holiday.

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[First Line]

Drill Instructor: Alright you have all completed the written exam, however, you must now pass the obsticle coarse to be admitted into the training program. And remember: Survive this and you are on front lines of keeping New Jersey safe.

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Commander Kent: [talking on radio to Paul] Remember me? I set you on fire at the pancake festival.

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See also

Trivia | Goofs | Crazy Credits | Alternate Versions | Connections | Soundtracks

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