After six years of keeping our malls safe, Paul Blart has earned a well-deserved vacation. He heads to Vegas with his teenage daughter before she heads off to college. But safety never takes a holiday and when duty calls, Blart answers.
Paul Blart is a mild-mannered man who works as a security guard in a New Jersey mall. For years, he has applied to become a cop, but he always fails the physical exam because he is overweight. One day, a gang of organized criminals put the mall under siege and take hostages. Blart becomes trapped inside, and because of his sense of duty, refuses to leave. He thus becomes the police department's eyes on the inside and attempts to stop the criminals on his own. Written by
I saw the trailers, enjoyed King of Queens, and thought I'd enjoy this Kevin James jaunt as a Saturday afternoon film. A film which should be quietly enjoyable and give a few laughs.
What I watched was mind-numbing garbage. Whilst I didn't expect anything too original, I didn't think I'd get such unoriginal, factory fodder. There was nothing to be enjoyed, and almost everything was too expected. The little that was marginally original was creepy. I felt like screaming to the love interest, don't go any near that stalker as he zoomed in on CTV then offered a lift on his mop-mobile. Would anyone say yes if a creepy guy offered to put his arms around you on his Segway when you just met the guy; especially one with stalker tendencies? The scene in the bar that followed was just as painful to watch, and even more reason for the love interest to run a mile.
The writers seemed to forget that if you're going to create formula movies, with a loser you need the audience to like, that there has to be something positive and likable about the character. I can't think about anything redeeming during the first twenty minutes. The writers took too many liberties with the audience and just presumed, 'Hey, this is an actor everyone likes, we don't need to make any effort in the script to support this.' This is not Kevin James greatest moment. The box office receipts merely show how successful good advertising can be, no matter how bad the product is.
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