"It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia" The Aluminum Monster vs. Fatty Magoo (TV Episode 2007) Poster


Dee Reynolds: What is this thing?

Charlie Kelly: That's Dennis' prototype. Be careful with that.

Dee Reynolds: No, I know it's the prototype but I don't get how it works.

Charlie Kelly: Dee, you're asking a million questions. All right look, I'm just going to walk you through it, so pay attention. Okay, look, the pretty lady gets naked, of course, and I help her into the prototype, yes? My hands sort of guiding along her body making sure that it fits properly. Now the dress is starting to look fantastic, you know? And she feels very excited, she feels very sensual and I feel very sensual about her because she looks so good. And then, you know, we chit-chat a little bit, no big deal but she asks me back to her place. Where did that come from? I accept, you know? And then we chit-chat at her place, it's no big deal, but eventually she says, "Do you want to make love, Charlie?"

Dee Reynolds: Oh, God.

Charlie Kelly: And I say, "Are you serious? Because yes, I do." And then just boom, we're in to it and it's hot and it's passionate.

Dee Reynolds: Charlie...

Charlie Kelly: And then it's just you and me babe...

Dee Reynolds: Oh, my God.

Charlie Kelly: ...Like all night long...

Dee Reynolds: Charlie...

Charlie Kelly: ...And I satisfy her so many times. She starts screaming my name...

Dee Reynolds: Charlie!

Charlie Kelly: "Charlie!" she says...

Dee Reynolds: Charlie!

Charlie Kelly: ..."Charlie!" she says, "Charlie!" she says...

Dee Reynolds: CHARLIE, Jesus!

Charlie Kelly: Dee! What are you... I thought you had walked back over...

Dee Reynolds: No, I've been standing here the whole time!

Charlie Kelly: Look, I was in the middle of a...

Dee Reynolds: Are you going to help me with this or not?

Charlie Kelly: I'm trying to... What are you doing, because you're looking pretty...

Dee Reynolds: Oh Jesus, I'm just going to do this myself.

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Ingrid 'Fatty Mcgoo' Nelson: Okay, Dennis, I'm confused.

Dennis Reynolds: Why's that?

Ingrid 'Fatty Mcgoo' Nelson: These are just pictures of women with giant breasts.

Dennis Reynolds: ...Yeah.

Ingrid 'Fatty Mcgoo' Nelson: And in some of these sketches, the women aren't even wearing clothes.

Dennis Reynolds: Yes.

Ingrid 'Fatty Mcgoo' Nelson: Well... Why?

Dennis Reynolds: Listen... Let me level with you. You're an attractive girl. I mean certainly you've got some potential, right? There's no reason to be so nervous around me. Why don't you just order a couple of my dresses and maybe if you're lucky, I'll even make one special just for you. And if you look good enough in it... hell, I might even consider having sex with you. How does that sound?

Ingrid 'Fatty Mcgoo' Nelson: Terrible.

Dennis Reynolds: Alright, let's just calm down. You're having a reaction. It's understandable. It's the nerd in you talking. Why don't we start over. How many of my dresses would you like to order?

Ingrid 'Fatty Mcgoo' Nelson: None. Not one.

Dennis Reynolds: Okay, well I'm not going to take no for an answer because I just refuse to do that because I'm a winner and winners... we don't listen to words like "no" or "don't" or "stop!" Those words are just not in our vocabulary. I know what you need. You need to see my dresses on a model. I'll tell you what, I'm going to come back tomorrow with a model.

Ingrid 'Fatty Mcgoo' Nelson: Please don't do that.

Dennis Reynolds: Save your breath, Ingrid. Those words have never worked on me. I'll see you tomorrow.

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Dee Reynolds: You're not a winner, Dennis. You're not a winner because you used to be popular in high school but I think you peaked.

Dennis Reynolds: [stops in his tracks, then walks back towards Dee] Peaked? Peaked, Dee?


Dennis Reynolds: Let me tell you something, I haven't even begun to peak. And when I do peak, you'll know. Because I'm gonna peak so hard that everybody in Philadelphia's gonna feel it.

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Dennis Reynolds: Everyone gather 'round. I have an announcement to make.

Frank Reynolds: Dennis has an announcement?

[to Mac]

Frank Reynolds: Go, now's your chance. Rant and rave.

Mac: [shouting] Gather 'round, everybody! Gather 'round, please!

Dee Reynolds: We're all standing here.

Frank Reynolds: Is this everybody?

Mac: Is this everybody?

Dee Reynolds: You know it's everybody. What are you doing?

Mac: Dennis has an announcement.

Dee Reynolds: Yeah, I-I-I heard that. I'm wondering what it is.

Mac: It's an announcement!

Charlie Kelly: What's up, Dennis?

Dennis Reynolds: I have an announcement.

Dee Reynolds: OH, MY GOD! WHAT IS IT?

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Mac: I've never spray painted a chair before, okay? Why are you covering your mouth?

Frank Reynolds: Because that lead paint is *extremely* toxic.

Mac: What! Is that why I'm feeling so dizzy?

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Charlie Kelly: Whoa. Wait. Has that chair been dipped in gold?

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