DS Ben Jones: You don't have to look quite so smug, sir.
DCI Tom Barnaby: Of course I *do*. It's one of the perks of experience.
DS Ben Jones: So what's in there?
[reaches for box lid]
DCI Tom Barnaby: Hey-ey-ey.
[stops Jones opening it]
DCI Tom Barnaby: Do you know what a MacGuffin is?
DS Ben Jones: No.
DCI Tom Barnaby: Well, it's one of them.
Kate Hammond: Well, if you really must know, around that time I was having a bit of a serious snog.
DS Ben Jones: Can I have the gentleman's name?
Kate Hammond: The gentleman's name was Caroline.
DS Ben Jones: Caroline!
[she just looks at him]
DS Ben Jones: Oh.
Johnny Hammond: Let's face it. What do you get for burglary these days? A holiday in Wales with a social worker?
Dr Bullard: Tenerife if it's serious.
Joyce Barnaby: How did you get His Honour to do this for free?
DCI Tom Barnaby: His Honour is doing this out of the kindness of his heart.
Joyce Barnaby: That is nice.
DCI Tom Barnaby: Well, I thought so.
Colonel Henry Hammond: Sophie, hang it. Is she a, is she a communist?
Arabella Hammond: No, Henry, she's a social worker.
Johnny Hammond: [about his father] I was his worst nightmare and he mine.
Dr Bullard: [Sarcastically] Very difficult to operate a wheelchair when someone's shot half your head off.
Arabella Hammond: Love, hate, what's the difference, Mr. Barnaby? What's the difference?
DCI Tom Barnaby: It seems that lack of respect for the mayor is endemic in our wayward community.
Arabella Hammond: David, I picked you for my occasional indulgence because it appealed to a certain perversity within me. When having sex with you, I like to imagine how deeply horrified the Hammond clan would be. But, believe me, otherwise it was pure farmyard, nothing else at all.