Two and a Half Men (2003–2015)
8.1/10
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Large Birds, Spiders and Mom 

Jake is ready to begin junior high school, until Alan scares him by telling him about all of the horrors that he experienced. Meanwhile, Charlie has a rash in a most inopportune area.

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(created by), (created by) | 4 more credits »
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Cast

Episode cast overview:
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Kris Iyer ...
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Julie
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Storyline

Charlie is plagued by a terribly and 'intimate' itchy rash (privates is inappropriate for him, as Alan points out). Now Jake is finally allowed to junior high school, Alan 'prepares' him by making him a target of ridicule, not bullying. Alas Alan and Charlie pull out too many horror stories, so Jake finds his own safe 'solution'. Charlie mocks Alan's constant cowardliness, stirring him to a single, soon regretted act of ill-considered bravery. Written by KGF Vissers

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Genres:

Comedy | Romance

Certificate:

TV-14 | See all certifications »
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Details

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Release Date:

24 September 2007 (USA)  »

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Aspect Ratio:

1.78 : 1
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Did You Know?

Trivia

When Jake gets on the bus, the Bewitched house is across the street. See more »

Goofs

Chuck Lorre's "Vanity Cards" usually don't suffer fact-checking criticism, but #183, the one at the end of this episode is flawed. The brief scenario has a Sopranos-type character, Paulie Walnuts, trying to get rid of his "pesky cat". He whacks the cat, then "drives it to the East River for disposal." On arrival, he learns that the cat isn't quite dead, prompting the moral dilemma, "Should he spare the determined feline, or toss him into the polluted waters that separate two great states?" Unless Queens/Brooklyn are so different from Manhattan as to be considered two states (and the argument could possibly be made!), it is the *other* side of Manhattan, the Hudson River to the West, that separates New York and New Jersey, See more »

Quotes

Alan Harper: Things will go great for you. You just have to remember a few things.
Jake Harper: Like what?
Alan Harper: Well, always keep your money in your shoe, but have some spare change in your pocket.
Jake Harper: How come?
Alan Harper: Decoy money. They won't stop hitting you 'til they get something.
Jake Harper: Who are they?
Alan Harper: The big kids, holding you by your ankles and plunging your head in the toilet.
Jake Harper: [Worried look on face] Plunging my head in the toilet?
Charlie Harper: D-don't, don't, don't, don't freak the kid out, Alan. It's not so much plunging as... dipping.
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Soundtracks

Two and a Half Men
(uncredited)
Written by Chuck Lorre
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