- [McGee begins another of his technical explanations]
- Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs: I'm starting to think you can't help yourself, McGee.
- Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: I'm fine, Ziva.
- Officer Ziva David: All right, but I thought maybe you needed a little cheering up?
- Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: If I needed to be cheered up, I would've put superglue on McGee's keyboard.
- Special Agent Timothy McGee: [angrily, to Tony] You put superglue on my keyboard.
- Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: [after McGee gives a technical explanation] Pretend you're talking to someone who actually has sex with other humans.
- Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs: Do I need to send you two back to the men's room?
- Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: Hey! She followed me in there!
- Officer Ziva David: Only because you wouldn't talk to me!
- Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: [Gibbs stares them down] Shutting up, Boss.
- Dr. Donald 'Ducky' Mallard: [after an autopsy] I apologize for not seeing it sooner.
- Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs: You know how I feel about apologies.
- Dr. Donald 'Ducky' Mallard: Yes. Well, you... may want to make an exception in this case.
- Abby Sciuto: The prints were made by a residue of polysaccharide dust derived from beta-glucose. What makes it interesting, is the backbone of D-xylopyranose, linked with eight xylose units... Panda poop.
- Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs: Panda?
- Abby Sciuto: Poop. Which is why it fluoresces, like all other poop does. What makes it really, really interesting... is the sodium hypochlorite: a.k.a. Chlorine bleach.
- Abby Sciuto: [pause] I, lost you at "poop", huh.
- Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs: Uh huh.
- Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: [looking at a picture of a suspect dancing with old ladies] Oh, god. It's Cocoon meets 'Dirty Dancing'. I wonder if Ducky has dreams like this.
- Sara Nelson: [to Gibbs] But as far as I'm concerned, if anything happens to my child *you're* the one who better run for cover!