The Scorpion King: Rise of a Warrior
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76 out of 97 people found the following review useful:

this movie is awful

1/10
Author: garrett_metzler from Canada
20 August 2008

I will be honest I enjoyed like 10 min of this movie only because if you change the main characters name to Hercules, well then its exactly that. And its a horrible version. If you are any type of buff who enjoys Movies that are from way back when then you will hate this because the lingo used is from 2008 - all speech is written as though this whole story took place now. Not hundreds of years ago. "Not my cup of tea" - is one line used that was absolutely ridiculous. All the swearing is - as*hole - jerk - jack a*s honestly who writes these things ?? Don't waste your money on this movie at all

Ya

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59 out of 75 people found the following review useful:

Dumb dee dumb dumb

1/10
Author: vic-232 from United States
22 August 2008

Even if you thought "Beastmaster" was great drama, you'll STILL think Scorpion King 2 is dreadful. The acting is surpassed in dreadfulness only by the dialog, although the muddy, on-the-cheap special effects also cannot be excluded from the race for the bottom.

We expect a sequel to be worse than the original film, and SK2 does nothing to dash our expectations -- even if it's a prequel. One finds it hard to imagine how the immensely boring and slightly soft hero played by Michael Copan ever could grow up to become "The Rock," whose Brooklynesque charm made the original "Scorpion King" worth watching.

Everything, yes, absolutely EVERYTHING in SK2 is derivative -- and NOTHING is done nearly as well as it's been done in previous sword and sorcery epics. In brief, skip it -- even if the only other choice at 3 A.M. is an infomercial for ceramic steak knives. SK2 is as bad as they come.

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53 out of 66 people found the following review useful:

Hey, kiddies! Did you enjoy the first Scorpion King? *sucker punch*

1/10
Author: Scott Baldwin (Meven_Stoffat) from Canada
23 August 2008

I remember seeing the first Scorpion King in the theater and I LOVED it. It had pretty much everything I could expect in a spin-off from The Mummy- Great action, lots of witty humor and very beautiful Egyptian location, and THE ROCK! What a fantastic and underrated . Now I saw the trailer for this one and thought "Another one?". Sadly, it looks like I was right. *Another* one. A movie I could laugh, cry, and gawk at how bad it is. So I decided to rent it anyways, because, well, hey, it's a Scorpion King movie. And oh, I couldn't even make it all the way through. It's that bad... well, actually it's WORSE!!!!! The location is AWFUL and nothing like the other movie which had BEAUTIFUL scenery in Egypt, the actors seem to have gotten their acting talents from 4 year olds, the battle scenes are awful too- shaky camera, constant jump edits, it's like you're having a seizure the whole time. Oh and the dialog is mind-numbingly awful too. Overall, if you like mindless idiocy that's so-called "Cinema", be sure not to miss this stinker.

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47 out of 65 people found the following review useful:

This movie is like a hurricane...It sucks AND blows!!

1/10
Author: peace-chaos from Washington State, United States
28 August 2008

If I could give this movie zero out of ten, I would! It TOTALLY SUX!!! Badly written, badly acted, badly directed/produced, bad music, crappy story line...I could go on and on.. I can't believe they actually put this movie out on DVD. I want my $5.00 back. What a waste. Everyone in this movie speaks modern English...All of the accents are completely different(not because they're supposed to be either)...the worst one of all being the people who don't even TRY, and talk like they're walking around the mall instead of taking their roles seriously. no wonder The Rock wouldn't do this movie. After the first three minutes I wanted to bash my own head into a brick wall!! THIS IS THE FIRST MOVIE I HAVE EVER SEEN THAT WAS SO INCREDIBLY HORRIBLE I HAD TO COMMENT ABOUT IT ON THIS OR ANY OTHER SITE. For the love of God, don't watch this movie...it'll make you wish you had lost all of your senses the second you pushed play.

P.S. The writers/directors/producers/casting agents/actors in/of this movie should be locked in a brick room and be forced to watch this movie nonstop while the rest of us take bets on how long it takes for one of them to bash their way through the wall with their head... THAT very well could be the only method that lot has of effectively entertaining anyone with this movie.

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25 out of 32 people found the following review useful:

Pretty boring, hard to watch

4/10
Author: goalieboy45 from Canada
22 August 2008

This movie is very bland, action sequences are mediocre at best and the attempts at humor throughout the film usually failed to make me even think about laughing. The storyline is a major problem with it as it brings no excitement to the movie at all and really the plot is pretty stupid. I was unable to watch this movie the whole way through the first time since it was just too boring to continue, but I did finish it during my third viewing of the film. Bad acting, Bad CGI, Badstoryline and really just not a good movie. If you must see this rent it, but the storyline has nothing to do with the first one so really nobody should even be watching this movie. Overall, not the worst movie i've ever watched, but definitely near the bottom 4/10

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29 out of 41 people found the following review useful:

Do yourself a favor, don't watch this movie.

1/10
Author: korash_sp from Spain
26 August 2008

I can't really describe how awful this movie was. I'm usually very skeptic and really try to stay away from movies with less than 6.0 score. Too bad this wasn't rated when I made the mistake the watch it.

I actually enjoyed "The Scorpion King" with the Rock, because you could tell that they had bothered to create something watchable, and while not the greatest film, it was at least entertaining.

This one on the other hand has nothing the previous one had. It doesn't have the Rock, which I believe was one of the main reasons to watch "The Scorpion King" to begin with; and it doesn't have any good scenery or even special effects worth mentioning. Action scenes were awful as well.

So all in all, try to stay away from this movie, and if for some strange reason you decide to watch it at least don't do it sober.

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27 out of 39 people found the following review useful:

Reminds me of a cheesy porno, but the acting wasn't quite as good...

1/10
Author: anthony-501 (anthony@acwebprint.com) from United States
10 September 2008

I can't say I thought it would be a nail biter, but I love Randy Couture and figured it was worth a shot. Poor Randy...acting just isn't for him. And whoever OK'd his screen tests should be punished for it. Of course, that's not to say that anyone else in this movie can act either...the acting is on par with that of porn or the reenactments you see on those crime TV shows.

I've never acted a day in my life and I know I could have delivered lines better than the actors did.

To really accentuate the poor acting, the writing was ridiculous (both storyline and scripting). It's really hard to believe that this script actually made it past the person writing the check to fund this piece of crap.

The fight scenes aren't much better either...between the "heat seeking arrow" scene and Randy Couture doing some MMA training with his body guards, it took me about 20 minutes to realize I wasn't even going to have a little fun watching this thing.

I loved the Mummy movies, but I thought the first SK movie was pure cheese and this one ups the ante even further. It's really hard to believe Stephen Sommers (the original writer/director of the Mummy) was involved in this one.

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11 out of 15 people found the following review useful:

I thought it was pretty good ... for a B movie

5/10
Author: Paul Ingraham from Vancouver, Canada
15 February 2009

Every single criticism of this movie is pretty much correct. But I still had fun.

I hate defending a movie because you have to accept it "for what it is," but I'll make an exception for this fine and dandy B-movie, because you really do have to accept it for what it is. There's no possible way to enjoy it if you take it seriously... but there's also no reason to take it seriously! But has there ever really been a "good" serious film in this genre? Precious few, maybe none.

Somewhere early on I got the idea that the movie felt pretty much exactly like playing a D&D module, and that mental picture actually really worked for me -- it felt nostalgic. Once I had that in my head, it was easy to favorably compare the film to many other films that have tried the same thing and failed much (much) more horribly. I have turned off many other contenders. Notice I'm still not saying that this film was "good" -- just much less bad than a lot of films of the same general type. I'm saying it was good for a B movie.

It was good for a B movie especially because the acting and script were not gratingly horrible. (Okay, the wrestler-dude king was as stiff as a board, I can't deny that.) But the young fella and whatshercuteface were actually pretty good, and the scribe guy wasn't so horrible either. They seemed to be comfortable and having fun in their silly little roles, and they were actually responding to each other, not just reading the lines. That's way, way more than you can expect from most B movies.

So, seriously, don't take this film seriously. Of course it's not "good". If you want to watch this sort of thing, cut it some slack and have a good time. You could definitely do worse!

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15 out of 24 people found the following review useful:

Not bad for what it is - a straight-to-DVD prequel

6/10
Author: gridoon2016
13 September 2008

Don't take this film too seriously - the filmmakers obviously didn't. Although it's set in a period "long, long ago", most of the characters look, talk and act VERY contemporary. Equally contemporary is the use of "bullet time" in some of the fight scenes! I wouldn't count on it for a lesson in mythology, either (hmmm, and I thought the Minotaur was killed by Theseus!). And there are a few too many scenes where the characters are simply walking around, while we're waiting for something to happen. On the bright side, Russell Mulcahy is an experienced B-movie director, and the film delivers enough spectacle, with clear cinematography and some imaginative special effects (the best being the transportation from the labyrinth to Hades). The script is basically yet another "quest for vengeance" story, but it does have a nice double-twist at the end. Oh, and I hope we'll get to see more of the breathtakingly beautiful and exotic Karen David in the years to come. Wow, what a woman. Smart move to put her, and the also beautiful and exotic Natalie Becker, on the DVD cover - without those two, I would never have rented this film. (**1/2)

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19 out of 32 people found the following review useful:

Not bad...Not good...Just something to watch

2/10
Author: Abyss24 from The place between heaven and hell
22 August 2008

Well, with the amount of glorification that this movie received on TV previews, I had high expectations for it. The truth of the matter is though, it wasn't at all what I expected it to be. The acting was extensively wooden and bland. The action sequences were laughable and in some cases unbelievable. The story was unnecessary and it had nothing to do with the first installment. Character development was non-existent, and all-in-all, it was just a boring movie. So I'd suggest avoiding this one. The first Scorpian King was 100x better than this, and even that wasn't spectacular. If you must see it then I'd suggest renting it. To me, it was just a movie that seems like it should be on the Sci-fi channel.

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