Himself - Host
And now, my Labor Day Special Comment to Miss Lohan and Miss Spears: Britney, Lindsay, summer's over and that means it's time to get back to work. When we get back to work next Tuesday, we want you to be there for us.
You see, for every time you pass out in a car, attack a car, crash a car, or have a picture taken of your privates while getting out of a car, you are not just keeping yourself in the limelight, you are also keeping us employed. That's right, we get paid for the jokes we write ...