P.J. Franklin: [voiceover] The thing that separates the few guys who make it in the big leagues from the thousands who try is their ability to handle a major-league curveball.
Mike Callahan: [about Stephanie while sitting in Kenny's car] Yeah, and why does she get shotgun, anyway?
Kenny Morittori: Because she called it.
Brendan Dorff: When?
Kenny Morittori: She texted me this morning at 9:14 AM.
Mike Callahan: You can't text shotgun!
Kenny Morittori: Then why'd YOU text me at 9:18?
Mike Callahan: Fine. Then I'm calling shotgun right now for the way home.
P.J. Franklin: You can't call return shotgun until your vehicle is parked at the destination. Everybody knows that, Mike.
Brendan Dorff: Guys, I got bad news. I think we're at a couples party.
Kenny Morittori: This is worse than a couples party. This is a family party.
Mike Callahan: Well, they're about to be sorry they invited drunk Uncle Mike.
Brendan Dorff: What the hell is that noise? It's driving me crazy.
Rachel: Those are the cicadas.
Kenny Morittori: The who?
Rachel: The cicadas. They're, uh, they're insects. They're kind of special, actually. They spend most of their lives underground and then, every seventeen years, they come up out of the ground to mate.
Mike Callahan: Hey, that's just like you, Kenny.
[to his astonishment and horror, Andy discovers his new house is an exact replica of his parents' old house]
Mike Callahan: Same house? Same layout and everything?
Andy Franklin: Uh-huh. What are the odds?
Mike Callahan: In this neighborhood? Pretty good.
Kenny Morittori: So now you and Meredith will be having sex in the same room as your parents did.
Andy Franklin: Not anymore we won't.
Kenny Morittori: Wow! That's crazy. That guy looks just like Bobby.
Brendan Dorff: Dude, he could be his doppelganger.
Kenny Morittori: He's a "Bobbelganger."
Rachel: Looks like they're having fun.
Brendan Dorff: Who? Oh, yeah. Yeah, Mike. You know, he's been really great with kids lately. I mean, thank God for AA, right?
P.J. Franklin: [voiceover] Life is a lot like a crafty pitcher. If you can't hit a curveball, that's all he'll throw you.
Evan: I gotta run but I just wanted to say it was... really great not smoking with you.
Andy Franklin: You know, after all these years, I know what it is Dad is looking for.
P.J. Franklin: What?
Andy Franklin: An escape route.
Evan: Well, the thing is, I really need those cigarettes back. I just found out I have to go to my father's retirement party this weekend, and...
P.J. Franklin: Oh. God. How could you get through that without not smoking?
Evan: Exactly, so I was wondering if you wanted to NOT get a drink with me.
P.J. Franklin: Would I NOT give your cigarettes back?
Evan: No-no-no. You WOULD give them back.
P.J. Franklin: Wait, what?
Evan: Can we stop being clever?
P.J. Franklin: Please.