There's the inside track, and then there are those who pave the inside track. Attack of the Show gets you inside, underneath, around, and behind the newest tech, the hottest games, the ... See full summary »
"Entertainment Tonight" is the #1 syndicated entertainment newsmagazine in the world. Launched in 1981, ET is anchored by Mary Hart and Bob Goen. Primary substitute anchors are Jann Carl ... See full summary »
This odious piece of programming is simply dreadful on so many levels. For the uninitiated, the format of TMZ is a bit like a televised version of Heat magazine, in which a group of tossers sit around a pretend office, throwing about meaningless pieces of celebrity chit-chat or fawning over footage of z-listers going about their daily lives.
Said tossers are headed by an inept, middle-aged man, hereafter referred to as "Captain Cockfeatures". Captain Cockfeatures floats around in front of the tossers, occasionally writing celebrity names onto a whiteboard - a format point which serves no readily-apparent purpose. He usually supports himself against a large wooden panel, which covers him from the shoulders down - this is, I presume, to spare us the sight of him furiously pleasuring himself to clips of Matthew Perry collecting his dry cleaning.
I suspect the need that the tossers and Captain Cockfeatures have to stalk, bitch about, and fawn over these celebrities is borne out of their own failed Hollywood ambitions. Their utter lack of charisma, wit or charm has scuppered their chances to achieve any kind of meaningful fame for themselves, so instead they leech of that of people who have actually made something of their lives. The most depressing thing however, is that there are people who watch this tripe - there must be, or they couldn't keep churning it out. Lord knows how they do it, I feel like I need to wash my brain after sitting through fifteen minutes of it. Ghastly stuff indeed.
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