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(TV Series)

(1986)

Quotes

Martin Edwards: I'm not a ladder-holder, I'm a coordinator!

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Ethel Davis: [rummaging around in the box room] Harry, I've found you my little... Donkey-Waterfall!

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Harry Stern: Kim, something terrible's happened...

Kim: Oh, I know, Harry!

Harry Stern: What am I gonna do?

Kim: What am I going to do?

Harry Stern: Well, if I were you, I'd go and tell Ethel.

Kim: Can't tell Ethel, she thinks I canceled it!

Harry Stern: Don't be daft, she's the one that canceled it.

Kim: If she's canceled it, how come the guest are still arriving?

Harry Stern: The guests are still arriving for the wedding?

Kim: The wedding?

Harry Stern: What are you talking about?

Kim: I'm talking about the guests for today. What are you talking about?

Harry Stern: I'm talking about Frederick Crossfield, he's just arrived.

Harry SternKim: You've got a problem!

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Ethel Davis: What I can't understand is why there's a circus in the yard in the first place!

Harry Stern: Well, you asked for some tumblers...

Ethel Davis: Tumblers to drink out off for the kitchen!

Harry Stern: Well, I sussed that out when they arrived, didn't I?

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Ethel Davis: What are you doing?

Harry Stern: Do It Yourself!

Ethel Davis: I can't! I've gotto go and deal with the circus!

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Martin Edwards: Do you know that lovely old West Country Proverb: Wither the weather to weather the wither? Oh, wait a minute, or was it... Wether the weather can weather...

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Martin Edwards: When the wind is from the west, you must wear a thermal vest.

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Martin Edwards: I always say: If a job's worth doing, it's worth doing...

Ethel Davis: ...well?

Martin Edwards: ...by Martin Edwards!

Ethel Davis: Oh, painting a pretty picture of yourself!

Martin Edwards: Now painting is a subject I do know about.

Ethel Davis: Well isn't it unfortunate we don't need anything painted, thank you so much.

Martin Edwards: You've got to be joking, look at the state of this door. It's urban blight!

Ethel Davis: Oh, you think so? Why don't you get on and do it then?

Martin Edwards: Alright, I will!

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Frederick Crossfield: I must admit: the lounge isn't bad. Except for the eh, paper tearing...

Ethel Davis: Well, you're just jealous 'cause yours didn't remotely look like a piglet.

Frederick Crossfield: That's not the point.

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Frederick Crossfield: The point is the bank has lent you some money. You should have a proper, professional job done.

Ethel Davis: Oh, you wanna see professional? I'll show you my gentlemen in the kitchen.

Frederick Crossfield: Ah. I'll look forward to it. Aha! there just about to watch a cartoon, aren't they?

Ethel Davis: Oh no, that's an industrial training film.

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Frederick Crossfield: [going over Ethel's expenses] What's this, you bought 10 cans of paint on account?

Ethel Davis: On account of what?

Frederick Crossfield: Exactly!

[pauses to look at more receipts]

Frederick Crossfield: 17.95 for a tie?

Ethel Davis: Ah yes, I met this really nice bloke, Simon Fielding, and I gave him a tie for Christmas.

Frederick Crossfield: [jealous] That's ridiculous!

Ethel Davis: I can go out with anyone I want!

Frederick Crossfield: Yeah, it's a ridiculous price for a tie. I could've got one much cheaper than that.

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See also

Trivia | Goofs | Crazy Credits | Alternate Versions | Connections | Soundtracks

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