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"House M.D." Alone (TV Episode 2007) Poster

(TV Series)

(2007)

Quotes

[last lines]

Dr. Gregory House: Sometimes I am wrong. I have a gift for observation, for reading people and situations. But sometimes I am wrong. This will be the longest job interview of your life. I will test you in ways that you will often consider unfair, demeaning, and illegal. And you will often be right. Look to your left. Now look to your right. By the end of six weeks, one of you will be gone. As will 28 more of you. Wear a cup.

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Dr. Lisa Cuddy: Where did you come from?

Dr. Gregory House: Apes, if you believe the democrats.

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Dr. Lisa Cuddy: You've spent the last two weeks doing absolutely nothing. Concert is over.

Dr. Gregory House: In what twisted universe does mastering Eddie Van Halen's two-handed arpeggio technique count as absolutely nothing?

Dr. Lisa Cuddy: Take the case or you will spend the next month helping the collapse team change bandages.

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Dr. Lisa Cuddy: Have you even interviewed anybody?

Dr. Gregory House: You test-drive a car before you buy it, you have sex before you get married. I can't hire a team based on a ten-minute interview. What if I don't like having sex with them?

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Dr. Lisa Cuddy: Cameron would never have accepted that this guy knew nothing about the love of his life and as soon as you claimed it was multiple conditions, Foreman would have done anything to prove you wrong, and then Chase would have done anything to prove you right. Any one of them would have solved this days ago.

[pause]

Dr. Lisa Cuddy: Hire a team. I don't care how you do it. ... Just do it!

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Dr. James Wilson: [over a piece of House's guitar which has been "kidnapped"] Oh, my God. This guy means business, or guys. It could be multiple, multiple guys or a gal. Who knows? All I can say this reeks of boldness.

Dr. Gregory House: I am not hiring a team.

Dr. James Wilson: You ever tighten a guitar string really, really slowly? Past the point it can handle the strain? It makes this weird sound, almost like a scream.

[squeaking]

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Dr. Gregory House: [on the phone with Wilson] Did you ever see Raid on Entebbe?

Dr. James Wilson: Yeah. In the end, they released the hostages. How's that working for you?

Dr. Gregory House: The Ugandans played fair. They didn't move the hostages on the Israelis.

Dr. James Wilson: Once again, I am in awe of the kidnapper's tactical brilliance.

Dr. Gregory House: [turns on Wilson's TiVo] What is "El Fuego Del Amor" and why do you need 10 of them?

Dr. James Wilson: It's a... it's a telenovela. I'm learning Spanish.

Dr. Gregory House: Well, say adios.

Dr. James Wilson: Are you erasing my TiVo? House! Not the season finale!

Dr. Gregory House: I don't negotiate with terrorists. I smoke them out of their hidey-holes.

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Dr. James Wilson: [to House] So all you have to do is convince this kid that his girlfriend had a secret doctor, and a secret stash, and a secret life. It's been a while since a patient took a swing at you. Can I watch?

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Dr. Gregory House: [when House's guitar is "kidnapped"] Give it back.

Dr. James Wilson: What happened? Did someone kidnap your guitar? Your 12 thousand-dollar 1967 Flying V? Or something?

Dr. Gregory House: Where'd you hide it?

Dr. James Wilson: I'm flattered you would consider me this bold and brilliant.

Dr. Gregory House: Yeah, it takes a cri...

[stops, then sees pieces missing from Wilson's newspaper]

Dr. Gregory House: It takes a criminal mastermind to pull off a heist from an unlocked, unguarded room down the hall. What do you want?

Dr. James Wilson: Me? Nothing. But I'm sure the kidnapper wants what every kidnapper wants: to see you interview 5 to 7 well-qualified fellowship candidates.

Dr. Gregory House: I don't need a team.

Dr. James Wilson: You were bouncing ideas off a janitor.

Dr. Gregory House: And solved the case!

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Dr. James Wilson: [on the phone with House] Do you know what terrorists do when you don't negotiate? They terrorize.

Dr. Gregory House: Bring it on!

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Dr. James Wilson: You stole my patient.

Dr. Gregory House: You kidnapped my guitar.

Dr. James Wilson: Give him back.

Dr. Gregory House: Only when you give her back.

Dr. James Wilson: It's a she?

Dr. Gregory House: Well, it's certainly not a dude.

Dr. James Wilson: It's a guitar! You took a human being!

Dr. Gregory House: Now who doesn't have a sense of humor?

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Dr. James Wilson: [House and Wilson searching the patient's home] What does the diary say?

Dr. Gregory House: It's basically a list of her sexual encounters. Boys, girls, vibrating appliances.

Dr. James Wilson: If it was, you'd be quoting, not summarizing.

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Dr. James Wilson: Where's the restaurant?

Dr. Gregory House: What restaurant?

Dr. James Wilson: The one you said you're taking me to for lunch.

Dr. Gregory House: Oh... ahh...

[points to a house]

Dr. Gregory House: This one's homier, dibs on a cold pizza?

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Dr. Lisa Cuddy: You're wrong.

Dr. Gregory House: Who are you going to believe: a classic toy or a woman who if she had any confidence in her ideas wouldn't feel the need to distract you with a water bra?

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Dr. Lisa Cuddy: How'd you know it was me?

Dr. Gregory House: There's a scent given off by wounded, feral cats.

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Ben: You don't know?

Dr. Gregory House: I know, just can't say, because you'll hit me. Let's discuss this in front of witnesses.

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Dr. Gregory House: [to Wilson] If you're broke I can loan you a tiny bit of the money I owe you.

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Dr. Gregory House: Your eyes are lopsided. And by eyes I mean breasts.

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Dr. Lisa Cuddy: [walks in on Tech doing test] I thought I sent out a memo not to help House.

Tech: I got it. I got both of them.

Dr. Lisa Cuddy: [exasperated] And the second memo said to ignore the first one.

Tech: Yeah - I thought that was odd.

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Dr. Gregory House: Can't take the case. I don't have a team.

Dr. Lisa Cuddy: So hire a team!

Dr. Gregory House: What for? I don't have a case!

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Janitor: I should ask them for keys.

Dr. Gregory House: No need. I'm sure we can find a large rock somewhere.

Janitor: I'm not breaking into somebody's house. I got principles.

Dr. Gregory House: I've got some loose change here that says you don't.

Janitor: I'm not doing this... for less than a 50.

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Dr. Lisa Cuddy: Well, let's just say your anti-depressant theory does explain the fever. What about the heart? And don't say a building fell on her.

Dr. Gregory House: Okay.

[clears his throat]

Dr. Gregory House: A structure collapsed.

Dr. Lisa Cuddy: Shut up!

Dr. Gregory House: Come on, it fits.

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Dr. Lisa Cuddy: 26-year-old female. She was pulled out of the rubble after six hours. Two surgeries for multiple fractures and burns.

Dr. Gregory House: I'm thinking the broken bones are a response to the building falling on her head.

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Dr. Gregory House: Bleeding can start at any time.

Dr. Lisa Cuddy: It's bleeding from five different sites! You think they synchronize their watches?

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Dr. Gregory House: You test drive a car before you buy it, you have sex before you get married, I can't hire a team based on a ten minute interview. What if I don't like having sex with them?

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See also

Trivia | Goofs | Crazy Credits | Alternate Versions | Connections | Soundtracks

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