Laura: It's not my problem, it's his. He never makes a move.
Deidre: So kick-start him then!
Deidre: Give him a hint; let him know you're interested. That's what I had to do with Johnny.
Deidre: Oh, yeah! If I hadn't broken into his flat, thrown his girlfriend out the window and tied him to his bed for three days, he'd never have known I fancied him.
Laura: But that gave him a clue, did it?
Deidre: I think he got the message.
Gareth: [on the telephone] How are things down at Customs and Excise? VAT lads still gouging eyeballs and eating babies, are they?
Gareth: No, actually. I want to do *you* a favour. I discovered a whole nest of very naughty people; duty evaders by the thousand. Thought you'd like to set your little Rottweilers onto their nether regions.
Gareth: Yes, life is fun, isn't it?
Simon: What did you think you were doing?
Gareth: I thought I was talking to myself, for God's sake!
Simon: Oh! "Will no-one rid me of this turbulent priest," eh?
Simon: Henry the Second re Thomas à Becket. Blokes overheard Henry and dashed off and killed Thomas. Henry was very cut up. Not as much as Thomas, of course-
Gareth: Yes, yes, thanks for pointing out the subtle parallel.
Winston: Good morning, Mr. Ambassador. Now, we would like an explanation of your unprovoked military incursion into our territory.
Simon: Her Majesty's Government would like to issue a formal and unconditional apology for the incursion which was due to a... um...
Simon: Clerical error. But thanks for the offer.