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(TV Series)

(1997)

Quotes

Laura: It's not my problem, it's his. He never makes a move.

Deidre: So kick-start him then!

Laura: How?

Deidre: Give him a hint; let him know you're interested. That's what I had to do with Johnny.

Laura: Really?

Deidre: Oh, yeah! If I hadn't broken into his flat, thrown his girlfriend out the window and tied him to his bed for three days, he'd never have known I fancied him.

Laura: But that gave him a clue, did it?

Deidre: I think he got the message.

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Gareth: [on the telephone] How are things down at Customs and Excise? VAT lads still gouging eyeballs and eating babies, are they?

Gareth: No, actually. I want to do *you* a favour. I discovered a whole nest of very naughty people; duty evaders by the thousand. Thought you'd like to set your little Rottweilers onto their nether regions.

Gareth: Yes, life is fun, isn't it?

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Simon: What did you think you were doing?

Gareth: I thought I was talking to myself, for God's sake!

Simon: Oh! "Will no-one rid me of this turbulent priest," eh?

Gareth: What?

Simon: Henry the Second re Thomas à Becket. Blokes overheard Henry and dashed off and killed Thomas. Henry was very cut up. Not as much as Thomas, of course-

Gareth: Yes, yes, thanks for pointing out the subtle parallel.

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Winston: Good morning, Mr. Ambassador. Now, we would like an explanation of your unprovoked military incursion into our territory.

Simon: Her Majesty's Government would like to issue a formal and unconditional apology for the incursion which was due to a... um...

Laura: Cock-up?

Simon: Clerical error. But thanks for the offer.

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See also

Trivia | Goofs | Crazy Credits | Alternate Versions | Connections | Soundtracks

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