A Christmas Carol (2009)
Ebenezer Scrooge: What do you want with me?
Jacob Marley: You will be haunted by three spirits.
Ebenezer Scrooge: I'd rather not.
Fred: A Merry Christmas to you, uncle!
Ebenezer Scrooge: Bah! Humbug... What reason have you to be merry? You're poor enough.
Fred: What reason have you to be so dismal? You're rich enough.
Ebenezer Scrooge: BAH! Humbug!
Fred: Don't be cross, Uncle!
Ebenezer Scrooge: What else can I be when I live in such a world of fools as this? Merry Christmas! Out upon merry Christmas! What's Christmas time to you but a time for paying bills without money; a time for finding yourself a year older, but not an hour richer; a time for balancing your books and having every item in 'em through a round dozen of months presented dead against you? If I could work my will, every idiot who goes about with 'Merry Christmas' on his lips, should be boiled with his own pudding, and buried with a stake of holly through his heart!
Ebenezer Scrooge: Nephew! Keep Christmas in your own way, and let me keep it in mine.
Fred: But you don't keep it!
Ebenezer Scrooge: Let me leave it alone, then. Much good may it do you! Much good it has ever done you!
Fred: There are many things from which I might have derived good, by which I have not profited, I dare say, Christmas among the rest. But I am sure I have always thought of Christmas time, when it has come round - apart from the veneration due to its sacred name and origin, if anything belonging to it can be apart from that - as a good time: a kind, forgiving, charitable, pleasant time: the only time I know of, in the long calendar of the year, when men and women seem by one consent to open their shut-up hearts freely, and to think of people below them as if they really were fellow-passengers to the grave, and not another race of creatures bound on other journeys. And therefore, uncle, though it has never put a scrap of gold or silver in my pocket, I believe that it has done me good, and will do me good; and I say, God bless it!
Fred's Wife: [playing an animal guessing game] Is it a horse?
Guest #3: A cow?
Guest #4: A dog?
Guest #5: An ass?
Fred: Well... yes, and no...
Fred's Wife: Oh, I got it, Fred! It's your Uncle Scrooge!
Ebenezer Scrooge: Spirit! Hear Me! I'm not the man I was!
Ebenezer Scrooge: [Looking with horror upon the children representing Ignorance and Want] Have they no refuse, no resource?
Adult Ignorance: [Suddenly morphing into an adult wielding a knife, and echoing Scrooge's words from earlier] Are there no prisons?
Adult Want: [Suddenly morphing into an adult, and echoing Scrooge's words from earlier] Are there no workhouses?
[to the Ghost of Christmas Past]
Ebenezer Scrooge: Haunt me no longer!
[upon meeting the Ghost of Christmas Future]
Ebenezer Scrooge: Ghost of the Future, I fear you more than any spectre I have seen.
Ebenezer Scrooge: I'm light as a feather! Merry as a schoolboy!
Ebenezer Scrooge: [high pitch tone] You'll never catch me in here... Christmas Pudding no doubt.
Ebenezer Scrooge: [upon viewing Marley in casket] Yes, quite dead. As a doornail.
[catching himself laughing like the Ghost of Christmas Present]
Ebenezer Scrooge: I've heard that laugh before.
Ebenezer Scrooge: [catching Bob applauding to Fred's speech] Let me hear one word out of you, Cratchit, and you can keep Christmas by losing your position!
Ebenezer Scrooge: [to Marley's ghost] There's more gravy about you than grave.