Rob Hawkins: My name is Robert Hawkins. It's 6:42 AM on Saturday, May 23rd. Approximately seven hours ago, some... thing attacked the city. I don't know what it is. If you found this tape, I mean if you're watching this right now, then you probably know more about it than I do. Whatever it is, it killed my brother Jason Hawkins, it killed my best friend Hudson Platt and Marlena Diamond, and many many others. We've crashed into Central Park and we've taken shelter underneath this bridge. The military has begun bombing the creature and we're caught in the middle. Okay, ready?
[Rob turns camera to Beth]
Rob Hawkins: It's okay.
Beth McIntyre: I don't know what to say.
Rob Hawkins: Just tell them who you are.
Beth McIntyre: My name is Elizbeth McIntyre. I don't know why this is happening. And we're going to wait here until this passes.
Beth McIntyre: [sees monster] What is that?
Hud: It's a terrible thing.
[while trying to get to a flight of stairs, Rob encounters a parasite and kills it]
Beth McIntyre: Oh my God! What is that?
Hud: I don't know! Something else! Also terrible.
Hud: Ocean is big, dude. All I'm saying is a couple of years ago, they found a fish in Madagascar that they thought been extinct for centuries.
Rob Hawkins: So what? It's been down there this whole time, and nobody noticed?
Hud: Sure. Maybe it erupted from an ocean trench, you know? Or a crevasse. Crevice. It's just a theory. I mean, for all we know, it's from another planet and it flew here.
Marlena Diamond: Like Superman?
Hud: Yeah, exactly like... Wait. You know who Superman is?
Marlena Diamond: Oh, my God. You know who Superman is?
Hud: Okay, I'm not...
Marlena Diamond: [sarcastically] I'm, like, feeling something. Are you aware of Garfield.
Hud: Okay, just to be clear here, our options are: die here, die in the tunnels, or die in the streets. That pretty much it?
Rob Hawkins: Yeah... that's pretty much it.
Rob Hawkins: Look at me! Look at me! Look at me. I love you!
Beth McIntyre: I love you!
Hud: Beth lives in Midtown. Midtown is that way. You know what else is that way? Some horrific shit!
Hud: Nobody ever listens to me, then when they do... we're gonna die...
Clark: How are you going to survive without Rob? He's like your main dude.
Hud: Yeah, I don't know.
[sees Rob passing by]
Hud: Hey Rob, how am I gonna survive without you?
Rob Hawkins: I don't know. I'm like your main dude.
Hud: Straight up!
Rob Hawkins: Still filming?
Hud: Yeah, people are gonna want to know... how it all went down.
Rob Hawkins: Well, you can just tell them how it all went down, Hud.
Hud: No, that wouldn't work. People need to see this, you know? It's gonna be important. People are going to watch this.
Hud: Rob, what time do the choppers take off?
Rob Hawkins: 0600
Hud: What time is that?
Rob Hawkins: 6:00 Hud...
Hud: Oh yeah, I knew that.
Rob Hawkins: I keep thinking that the last thing I said to her was, "Good luck tonight, Travis."
Lily Ford: I know. I keep thinking about the last thing I said to Jason.
Rob Hawkins: That was different.
Lily Ford: Why?
Rob Hawkins: Because... Jason knew that you loved him.
Rob Hawkins: Hey, is that my camera?
Hud: Uh, I don't know. Jason just gave it to me.
Rob Hawkins: Did you change the tape? Because I had a tape in there... something important.
Hud: I didn't, it was already on when I got it.
Hud: Please tell me she lives on the ground floor.
Rob Hawkins: 39th.
Hud: [during a very stressful run up stairs] I don't read the papers. Maybe our government made this thing.
Rob Hawkins: Oh, yeah.
Hud: I mean, you know, maybe it was an accident, or maybe it was on purpose.
Rob Hawkins: Sure, maybe they did. Does it really matter right now?
Hud: Yeah. It matters because I need to talk about something. Otherwise, I'm actually probably going to shit my pants in this stairwell.
Jason Hawkins: [to Rob] You're not good enough for her. That's it. That's fact. That's science. Beth McIntyre is like from a whole nother planet, man. She's beautiful, she's charming. And you, I love you, but let's face it you're kind of a douchebag. And going to Japan is not going to fix that.
Beth McIntyre: Good luck in Japan.
Rob Hawkins: [to Beth's date] Good luck tonight, Travis.
Rob Hawkins: We got like three seconds left. What do you want to say? What do you want to say? Last thing to the cam.
Beth McIntyre: [smiling] Um... I had a good day.
[camera shuts off]
Hud: Do you guys remember a couple of years ago when that guy was lighting homeless people on fire in the subways?
Rob Hawkins: Jesus, Hud! Maybe not the best time for this conversation down here!
[awkward silent pause]
Hud: I just can't stop thinking how scary it'd be if a flaming homeless guy came running...
Hud: I'm just saying. Sorry.
Lily Ford: Rob and Beth slept together.
Hud: Are you serious?
Lily Ford: Yeah, a few weeks ago. Beth made me promise not to say anything.
Jason Hawkins: Are you kidding me Lily? Rob and Beth sleeping together and you're not even going to tell me that?
Hud: Why wouldn't you tell me?
Lily Ford: [long pause] Why wouldn't I tell you?
Jason Hawkins: [to Rob] You just need to say 'forget the world' and hold on to the people that you care about the most.
Rob Hawkins: It's 6:42 AM. Beth's dad's place. He's out of town. And it's already a good day.
Lily Ford: Can you see me through the viewfinder?
Jason Hawkins: Yeah. Got ya.
Lily Ford: Good. Now can you see me trying to carry these bags all by myself?
Jason Hawkins: You're doing a great job.
Lily Ford: [handing him a bag] Here, practice doing two things at once.
Jason Hawkins: Hud! Listen, I got a job for you.
Hud: Uh, I've already got a job, putting up the sign.
Jason Hawkins: Yeah, I see that but this is more important than the sign. Um, you know how at weddings people give testimonies to the camera, right?
Jason Hawkins: Alright. You're going to take the camera and just you know go around the party and film people telling Rob good luck.
Hud: I don't know. I mean, that's a lot of responsibility Jason and...
Jason Hawkins: Marlena's going to be here.
Hud: She is?
Lily Ford: Hud, what are you doing?
Hud: I'm documenting the night.
Lily Ford: But I thought I asked Jason to do that?
Hud: Oh, yeah, but Jason asked me to do it, so I've been doing it. I've been doing it really well.
Lily Ford: Robert Hawkins, I can't believe you're leaving me to look after your brother by myself!
Jason Hawkins: Oh! Easy, easy. I'm mean I'm obviously standing right here.
Lily Ford: And I know I'm not officially family... yet...
Jason Hawkins: Not fair.
Hud: [to Lily] Dude... I'll cut him out later.
Lily Ford: But I think of you as my brother, and I hope you think of me as your sister.
Marlena Diamond: Hey Rob! Uh, Marlena. We probably met like three times total, and every one of those times I've seen you were drunk, so I don't really know what to say. But you have a really cool job! That's something. You're like President of something.
Hud: Vice President!
Marlena Diamond: Also really cool! So good luck with that, and so we're going to be here, in New York, really safe and fine for you when you come back.
Hud: Cool. That was a really good one!
Marlena Diamond: Yeah.
Hud: Yeah. We can do another one of you if you want.
Marlena Diamond: Do you actually have a card or something? My agency... we're leaving... we're going on this stupid retreat and they like all this video like bonding crap.
Hud: Oh yeah, I'm not actually a professional.
Marlena Diamond: What?
Hud: I'm not a professional. I'm Hud.
Marlena Diamond: Hug?
Beth McIntyre: Rob, I didn't want to do this on camera, but um... I just... I just want you to know how happy I am for you. Because I know how hard you've worked for this job, and I know how much it means to you, and I'm really going to miss you.
Hud: Hey, Marlena. It's me, Hud, from before.
Marlena Diamond: [slightly annoyed] Hi.
Hud: Did you know that Rob and Beth had sex?
Marlena Diamond: No.
Hud: Yeah, isn't that crazy? They've been friends forever. I mean, Rob's been in love with her since college.
Marlena Diamond: Well, maybe it was like a going away present, you know?
[Marlena walks to bathroom]
Hud: Yeah! Wait, were we supposed to give presents?
Hud: So, how do you want to do this? Do you want to do most of the talking? Or do your want me to do most of the talking?
Jason Hawkins: You're not doing any talking.
Hud: Okay. Cool.
Hud: [to Rob] Maybe you should've left town a little bit earlier, right?
Jason Hawkins: [to panicked friends] Shut up! All right, we don't know what we saw. The point is it's still here, all right? So we need to get the hell out of Manhattan! Now!
Hud: Are you okay?
Marlena Diamond: You tell me. How does it look?
[Hud sees Marlena's bloody back shoulder]
Hud: It looks like it hurts.
Marlena Diamond: What do you mean? Are you saying this isn't attractive at all?
Hud: A little bit.
Hud: One of them grabbed me, tried to drag me away. What's up with that?
Marlena Diamond: Maybe it liked you, Hud.
Hud: Yeah. Maybe it tried to make me its queen.
Rob Hawkins: Listen, we need your help. Our friend, she's hurt, she's trapped in her building right by here. Columbus Circle?
Lead Soldier: That is not where you want to be right now.
Lily Ford: Do you guys know what it is, out there? Do you know what that thing is?
Lead Soldier: There ain't nobody telling me. Whatever it is, it's winning.
Hud: Hey man. Were you surprised?
Rob Hawkins: I was like not even surprised.
Hud: No? Can you describe your current emotions right now?
Rob Hawkins: I would say blasé. I mean, I'm a little... I'm just a little bored...
Hud: No you're not!
Rob Hawkins: No man, that was awesome dude! What are you doing with a video camera?
Hud: I'm documenting the night so that you can take it to Japan with you.
Rob Hawkins: Oh, can I watch it every night while I'm there?
Lily Ford: [with the camera, while walking the streets, horns honking] Oh, perfect. And now we can have a nice record of you getting run over.
Jason Hawkins: [while holding the camera] Is that funny?
Hud: [with Marlena and Lily, trying to get Rob to stop] One of us is gonna have to tackle you and that's gonna be very uncomfortable for everyone involved!
Rob Hawkins: We're going to go out there and if you want to stop me, then you're going to have to shoot me.
Beth McIntyre: Rob?
Rob Hawkins: Yeah?
Beth McIntyre: You came back for me.
Rob Hawkins: Of course I came back for you. I'm sorry it took me so long.
Beth McIntyre: It's ok.
Hud: Thanks for... thanks for coming back for me back there. I really appreciate it.
Marlena Diamond: What would make you think that I'm the kind of person that wouldn't do that?
Hud: No... no I know you aren't. I'm just glad that you did. Other wise I would have been dead
Marlena Diamond: [chuckles] Yeah.
Hud: Alright, you just got bit.
Hud: [watches from the helicopter as the monster is being bombed] I think they got him. Yeah, yeah, yeah! That's the shit right there! That's what I'm talking about...
[the monster jumps out of the fire and smoke and attacks the helicopter and it crashes]