Tony: Where the hell are we?
Percy: Geographically speaking, in the Northern Hemisphere. Socially, on the margins. And narratively, with some way to go.
Tony: Don't believe everything you read. Especially The Mirror.
Tony: If Doctor Parnassus can really control people's mind, why isn't he ruling the world,then? Eh? Why bother with this little... side show?
Anton: 'Side show'? He don't... he don't want to rule the world. He wants the world to rule itself!
Tony: Do you dream? Or should I say... can you put a price on your dreams? Or... the dreams of the less fortunate in this world
Anton: Ladies and gentleman, ladies and gentleman... this world, this world that we live in is full of enchantment for those with eyes to see it. Chicken!
[throws a chicken at the audience]
Tony: The Imaginarium does not cost a thing. We're not here for money.
Dr. Parnassus: [Sees Tony setting up the Imaginarium] What are you doing?
Tony: Trying to save your daughter's life, sir!
Dr. Parnassus: There are three cardinal rules, Mr. Nick. One, there is no black magic, only cheap tricks and... I forget the others.
Dr. Parnassus: [Repeated line] What would I do without you, Percy?
Face Changed Martin: [Screaming and pleading] I swear I won't drink anymore! Not one drop!
Mr. Nick: [Tony has stopped the Devil from taking another soul] Shit.
Dr. Parnassus: [Absorbed in telling Valentina the story] Your mother and I went away together, grew old, and one day she came to me and told me she was pregnant! Can you believe it, at sixty and pregnant. A miracle.
Valentina: [Begins to weep] A miracle or a mistake?
Dr. Parnassus: [sighs, remembering his deal] You were the best mistake I ever made.
Dr. Parnassus: [Has just seen the Devil] He's come to collect.
[after a pause]
Dr. Parnassus: He's early.
Imaginarium Tony #3: [Sees the press approaching him and grins gleefully at Valentina] I think this is my dream!
Valentina: [Counting the money that Tony made] Have you ever seen so much money before?
Percy: Perhaps you'll find a midget... if you're lucky!
The President: I only have three words to say: Well done, Tony!
Martin: [Chasing after Valentina in the Imaginarium] Come here, you bitch!