Transamerican Stewardess Nancy Needatwat: [as her hands accidentally grab Griff and Jarod's crotches during turbulance] Oh my God, there's snakes on the plane!
Jasper Chan: [concerned after seeing Griff naked] The nerd's packing eight inches Jasper!
Jasper Chan: Maybe nine.
Jasper Pledge: [referring to a tiki that Nico found] Did anybody find the unlucky tiki I planted?
Jasper: [shocks him, part of his hazing] Did anybody find the unlucky tiki he planted?
Jasper Chan: 'Cher's' already accessorized it.
Luis: [zombies are bearing down on Andy] Over here!
Andy Wilson: Luis? What are you doing here?
Luis: It's a dream sequence. Come on before it's too late!
Nico: Nice to meet you. We're Cher.
Transamerica Stewardess Debbie Gottakunt: [on the intercom while the plane is going through severe turbulence] In the unlikely event of a water landing
Transamerica Stewardess Debbie Gottakunt: [unzips and exposes her ample chest] I may be used as a flotation device!