|Index||3 reviews in total|
5 out of 8 people found the following review useful:
better acting in 80's porno movies, 17 January 2012
Author: aelthric from United Kingdom
I can't believe that this movie had a budget of $3,500,000, $3.50 would
be more believable, it doesn't even have the redeeming quality of being
"so bad it is good"...
First the acting is completely forced and so obviously false that you really do get the feeling that you are watching a really low budget 70's - 80's Porno movie without the fleshy bits, the acting is not so much wooden as petrified...
Secondly I get the feeling that this was directed by a 8 year old kid in the way that it bumbles along...
Thirdly if the 8 year old directed it then their 5 year old sibling wrote the script...
The cinematography was also about the level of a really poorly made porno with some sort of wedding video editing effects whenever the female lead goes into one of her weird daydream flashback recollection type things...
This is a stinker of the highest order and could only be rescued from the wastebin of history by the intervention of the rifftrax guys who could at least add a comical commentary to this dire drivel...
1 out of 1 people found the following review useful:
And the music never ends, 7 May 2012
Author: tdeladeriere from France
From the moment the film opens to its ending credits, the soundtrack
never stops. Possibly the director thought the endless cacophony of
strings and wind instruments would lend some flair to this uninspired
epileptic mess, but it only managed to give me a headache. It took me 3
sittings to make it through this drabfest, not necessarily because it
was bad (it was) but because of the never-ending soundtrack.
As to the movie ? A nurse and her (hot) male colleague (the only reason this got a 1/10) investigate the bizarre head-exploding death of a former patient. As they meet the relatives of the victim, a couple of other heads explode and ghost children emerge from a black painting looking like a fuzzy B&W TV screen, probably because they are the key to this exploding-head mystery, but you'll never know, because by the time the movie reaches its pitiful climax, the music gets so obtrusive that you can't hear anything Michael Madsen says before he starts laughing hysterically and his head explodes. The poor nurse is now into hysterics and you will be too, unless you pop a Cuprofen.
1 out of 1 people found the following review useful:
I am reviewing THE Portal (2010) not Portal (2008), 18 January 2012
Author: ameliaj247 from London, England
The premise is good but the rendering is awful, it truly is the only
descriptive for this movie and be sure that I am reviewing the correct
movie, I waited 2 years to see this film expecting great things only to
be severely disappointed. I have also seen Portal (2008) and if I had
to judge, I would say that Portal (2008) was the better movie!
This movie starts badly, the middle is awful and the ending is totally dreadful, I do not recommend it at all, I did not pay a great deal for the DVD but I still feel conned simply because so much fuss was made over this movie and I waited so long to see it.
I think the director must have been aiming for an 'arty' style but he has failed abysmally, there is no such thing as a good 'arty' horror movie, it just does not work (for me at least), the film does not flow, it felt like a bad Hammer Horror from the 80s and gave me a headache.
I have never been happy with shows or movies where the characters all look alike and this movie has too many female characters who look alike and the male characters are almost as bad. The film opens with April in her ME persona but then we are shown a scene where a woman is chatting with a man to whom she appears to be engaged (Nicholas Brendan who barely features in the film at all) and he seems to be involved in some horrible accident, then we have a scene with Valerie, who is mourning a dead boyfriend/fiancé and she looks so like April that I became confused as to who was in the 2nd scene, this only got worse throughout the movie. It became apparent later in the film that it was actually April who was engaged to the Brendan character but by this time I really didn't care.
The scenes are chaotic and do not flow as they should, the story is all over the place and makes no sense. Who was the weird guy who painted the 'Portal' painting? Who were the men peering through the bars at him? I got the impression that one of them was Dr Azirra (when he was younger) but this was never confirmed. What is all this rubbish about the 'Inner Child' ? I know for certain that my inner child is not so pi**ed at me that she would kill me, I find it hard to believe that we all have to fear our inner child. Also, why the exploding heads? WTF is that? I got the impression that the exploding heads and other bloody issues (haemorrhagic issues) were simply for the gore factor.
Overall I found this movie a mega fail and am still spinning in confusion over what the director was trying to achieve.
Is it possible that he was just trying to confuse and disturb us as much as the 'black painting' confused and disturbed the characters? Maybe, but whatever the answer, I would suggest that you rent this film not buy it. It is certainly not a 'keeper' :-/
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