Carl Fredricksen: This is crazy. I finally meet my childhood hero and he's trying to kill us. What a joke.
Dug: Hey, I know a joke! A squirrel walks up to a tree and says, "I forgot to store acorns for the winter and now I am dead." Ha! It is funny because the squirrel gets dead.
[Carl in a now almost Empty House, in order to get his house light enough to be Airborne to chase after Muntz, when suddenly he hears a knock at the front door]
Carl Fredricksen: Russell?
[Opens the door, only to find Dug on his doorstep]
Carl Fredricksen: [Overjoyed, having had a Change of Heart] Dug!
Dug: I was hiding under your porch because I love you. Can I come in?
Carl Fredricksen: Can you come in? Why, you're my Dog. And I'm your Master.
Young Ellie: [to Carl] You don't talk much... I like you!
Russell: That might sound boring, but I think the boring stuff is the stuff I remember the most.
Carl Fredricksen: Hey, let's play a game. It's called "See Who Can Be Quiet the Longest".
Russell: Cool! My mom loves that game!
Young Ellie: [Ellie opens her Adventure Book to reveal to Carl a "Life" magazine with Charles Muntz on the cover] You know him.
Young Ellie: Charles Muntz, explorer. When I get big, I'm going where he's going,
[pulls away the magazine to reveal a map of... ]
Young Ellie: South America. It's like America, but south.
Russell: Good afternoon. Are you in need of any assistance today, sir?
Carl Fredricksen: No.
Russell: I could help you cross the street.
Carl Fredricksen: No.
Russell: I could help you cross your yard.
Carl Fredricksen: No.
Russell: I could help you cross your porch.
Carl Fredricksen: No!
[closes the door on Russell's foot]
Carl Fredricksen: Tell your boss he can *have* my house.
Construction Foreman Tom: Really?
Carl Fredricksen: Yeah. When I'm dead!
Construction Foreman Tom: I'll take that as a Maybe.
Carl Fredricksen: [after his house hits a cliff and shatters a window] I am nobody's master, got it? I don't want you here
[points his cane at Dug]
Carl Fredricksen: and I don't want you here!
[points it at Kevin]
Carl Fredricksen: [addressing Russell] I'm stuck with you, but if you two don't clear out of here by the time I count to three...
Dug: Oh! A ball! Oh, boy! Oh, boy! A ball!
Carl Fredricksen: Ball?
Carl Fredricksen: You want it, boy?
Dug: Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh!
Carl Fredricksen: Huh? Huh?
Dug: Yes, I do! I so ever do want the ball!
Carl Fredricksen: Go get it!
[throws the ball]
Dug: Oh, boy! Oh, boy! I will go get it and then bring it back!
Carl Fredricksen: Russell, give me some chocolate.
[grabs a piece of chocolate from Russell and throws it into the bushes, leaving Kevin to run off after it]
Carl Fredricksen: [Carl, with his house high in the air, opens his door to see who knocked on it. Looking around, he spots Russell] Whaa!
Russell: Hi, Mr. Fredricksen! It's me, Russell!
Carl Fredricksen: What are you doing out here, kid?
Russell: I found a snipe, and I followed it under your porch, but this snipe had a long tail, and looked more like a large mouse.
Russell: [His flag then blows away in the wind, and he gasps, then turns to Mr. Fredricksen] Please let me in.
Carl Fredricksen: ...No.
[He slams the door shut; Russell waits uncertainly for a few seconds. The door opens again]
Carl Fredricksen: Oh, all right...
[Russell runs inside]
Russell: [Whining] I'm tired! My knee hurts!
Carl Fredricksen: Which knee?
Russell: ...My elbow hurts!
Russell: [off screen in the jungle] Mr. Fredricksen? Am I supposed to dig the hole before or after?
Carl Fredricksen: Nyaa! None of my concern!
Russell: [after a pause] Oh... It's before!
Carl Fredricksen: Nyaa!
[covers his ears and shakes his head]
[Carl just saved Russell, tied to a chair, from falling to his death off Muntz' Airship, and leaves him on the porch]
Russell: But I want to help!
Carl Fredricksen: I don't want your help, I want you safe.
Dug: [to the bird Kevin] Won't you please be my prisoner, please, please, please!
Alpha: Not you, you lost the Bird. Now, you must wear the cone of shame.
Dug: [wearing a cone around his head in the next scene, and hangs his head] I do not like the cone of shame.
Russell: A wilderness explorer is a friend to all, be a plant or fish or tiny mole!
Carl Fredricksen: That doesn't even rhyme!
Russell: [offended] Yeah it does.
Russell: [points to Kevin] I found the snipe!
Carl Fredricksen: [amused] Oh, did you now?
Russell: Are they tall?
Carl Fredricksen: Oh, yes. They're very tall.
Russell: Do they have a lot of colors?
Carl Fredricksen: They do, indeed!
Russell: Do they like chocolate?
Carl Fredricksen: Ye... chocolate?
[he turns around and sees Kevin]
Carl Fredricksen: Gaah! What is that thing?
Russell: [Carl and Russell find Dug in a South American desert; Russel pets him] Hey, I like dogs!
Carl Fredricksen: [calling out] We have your dog!
Russell: [Dug walks around Russell] Whoa.
Carl Fredricksen: I wonder who he belongs to?
Russell: Sit, boy.
Russell: Hey look, he's trained! Shake.
[Dug shakes his paw]
Russell: Uh-huh. Speak.
Dug: Hi there.
Carl Fredricksen: [He and Russell make surprised exclamations] Did that dog just say "Hi there"?
Dug: Oh, yes.
Carl Fredricksen: Whaa!
Dug: My name is Dug. I have just met you, and I love you.
[he jumps up on Carl]
Carl Fredricksen: Wha...
Dug: My master made me this collar. He is a good and smart master and he made me this collar so that I may speak. Squirrel!
[looks to distance for a few seconds]
Dug: My master is good and smart.
Carl Fredricksen: It's not possible!
Dug: Oh, it is because my master is smart!
Russell: Cool! What do these do, boy?
Russell: [Russell starts to fiddle with a dial on Dug's collar, causing him to cycle through languages and different voices] Hey would you - cuerdo con tigo - I use that collar - watashi wa hanashi ma - to talk with. I would be happy if you stop.
Carl Fredricksen: Russell, don't touch that. It could be... radioactive or something.
Dug: I am a great tracker. My pack sent me on a special mission, all by myself. Have you seen a bird? I am going to find one, and I am on the scent. I am a great tracker; did I mention that?
[Dug is suddenly attacked by Kevin, who shrieks in Dug's face after pinning him to the ground]
Dug: Hey, that is the bird! I have never seen one up close, but this is the bird. May I take your bird back to camp as my prisoner?
Carl Fredricksen: Yes, yes, take it! And on the way, learn how to bark like a real dog!
Dug: Oh, I can bark.
Dug: And this is howling.
Russell: [Kevin screeches] Can we keep him? Please, please, please?
Carl Fredricksen: No.
Russell: But it's a TALKING DOG!
Carl Fredricksen: It's just a weird trick or something. Let's get to the falls.
Carl Fredricksen: You'd better get up, Russell. Or else, the tigers will come and eat you.
Russell: There are no Tigers in South America. Zoology.
Carl Fredricksen: I can't tell where we are.
Russell: Oh, we're in South America, all right. It was a cinch with my Wilderness Explorer GPS.
Carl Fredricksen: GP what?
Russell: My dad gave it to me; it shows exactly where we are on the planet!
[runs to window making beeping sounds]
Russell: With this baby, we'll never be lost!
[gestures and accidentally throws the unit out the window]
Carl Fredricksen: [after throwing both a ball and chocolate into the jungle to get rid of Dug and Kevin, Carl runs with his house for a considerable distance] There. We should've gone enough. We should be rid of them now.
[looks to his left and sees Dug]
Dug: [with the ball in his mouth] Hi, Master.
[Carl turns to his right and Kevin squawks in his ear]
Beta: Chocolate, I smell chocolate!
Gamma: I'm getting prunes and denture cream! Who are they?
Beta: Oh, man, Master will not be pleased. We better tell him someone took the bird. Right, Alpha?
Alpha: [in a squeaky voice] No. Soon enough the bird will be ours yet again. Find the scent, my compadres, and you too shall have much rewardings from Master for the toil factor you wage.
Beta: Hey, Alpha, I think there's something wrong with your collar. You must have bumped it.
Gamma: Yeah, your voice sounds funny!
[they both laugh]
Alpha: Beta! Gamma!
[they both stop laughing]
Alpha: Mayhaps you desire to - SQUIRREL!
[All of them turn their attention to a nearby tree; slight pause, Gamma whimpers]
Alpha: Mayhaps you desire to challenge the ranking that I have been asigned by my strength and cunning...
Beta: No, no, no. But maybe Dug would. You might wanna ask him.
Gamma: Yeah. I wonder if he's found the bird on his very special mission.
Alpha: Do not mention Dug to me at this time. His fool's errand will keep him most occupied. Most occupied, indeed. Ha ha ha! Do you not agree with that which I am saying to you now?
Beta: Sure, but the second Master finds out you sent Dug out by himself, none of us will get a treat.
[He and Gamma whine]
Alpha: [lunges and growls at them] You are wise, my trusted lieutenant.
Dog: [to Carl and Russell after Muntz accepts them] I like you temporarily!
Charles Muntz: Any last words Fredricksen? Come on, spit it out!
[Carl spits out his dentures]
Russell: [to Carl, about Kevin] This was her favorite candy bar. Because you sent her away, there's more for you.
Russell: Hey look, buildings! That building's so close, I can almost touch it!
Russell: [In Carl's thought] Wow! This is great! You should try this, Mr. Fredricksen! Look, there's a bus stop that could take me home two blocks away! Heyy, I can see your house from here!
Carl Fredricksen: [pulling on rope] Don't jerk around so much, kid -
[let's go, shocked]
Carl Fredricksen: [back in reality] Well, that's not gonna work.
Dug: I will stop the dogs!
[jumps in front of a pack of dogs]
Dug: Stop, you dogs!
[Pack of dogs runs past Dug. Alpha grabs Dug by the neck and throws him out of the way, which breaks the cone around his head]
Charles Muntz: You know Carl, these people who come here, they all tell pretty good stories.
[He walks to a row of human skulls on a shelf, each of which is wearing a hat of some kind]
Charles Muntz: A surveyor making a map...
[he knocks over the first skull]
Charles Muntz: A botanist cataloging plants...
[he knocks over the second skull]
Charles Muntz: An old man taking his house to Paradise Falls... and that's the best one yet. I can't wait to hear how it ends.
Russell: Where are you keeping Kevin? Let me go!
Beta: Scream all you want, small mailman.
Alpha: None of your mailman friends can hear you.
Russell: I'll unleash all my Wilderness Explorer training!
Carl Fredricksen: [to Russell] Now, we're gonna walk to the falls quickly and quietly with no rap music or flashdancing.
Carl Fredricksen: We have three days, at best, before the helium leaks out of those balloons. And if we're not at the falls when that happens...
Russell: [behind Carl, obviously distracted, looking down] Sand.
Carl Fredricksen: ...we're not getting to the falls.
Russell: I found sand!
Carl Fredricksen: [looks up at his house, through a window, to where a picture of old Ellie hangs on the wall] Don't you worry, Ellie. We'll get our house over there.
Russell: I've never been in a floating house before.
[Russell sees a picture of Ellie and laughs]
Russell: Goggles. Look at this stuff. Wow! You're going on a trip?
[Russell picks up a picture of Paradise Falls and reads from it]
Russell: "Paradise Falls, a land lost in time." You're going to South America, Mr. Fredricksen?
[Carl grabs the picture from Russell]
Carl Fredricksen: Don't touch that! You'll soil it.
Russell: You know, most people take a plane, but you're smart because you'll have all your TV and clocks and stuff.
Carl Fredricksen: [Having arrived above Paradise Falls in South America, miles from where they took off] Don't worry, I'll get you down, find a Bus Stop.
[cuts off the strings to some of the balloons, allowing the house to descend down]
Russell: Whoa, that's s gonna be like a billion transfers to get back to my house...
Russell: The wilderness must be explored! CA-CA! RAAWWRR!
Charles Muntz: [on board his Spirit of Adventure airship] Does anyone know WHERE THEY ARE?
[Russell is suddenly dragged across the large window by a garden hose. Muntz stares while his eye twitches]
Alpha: [Through a communicator on Beta's collar] This is Alpha calling Dug. Come in, Dug.
Dug: Hi Alpha. Hey, your voice sounds funny.
Alpha: I know, I know! Have you seen the bird?
Dug: Why, yes. The bird is my prisoner now.
Gamma: Yeah, right!
[Kevin hisses at the screen]
Alpha: Impossible! Where are you?
Dug: I am here with the bird, and I will bring it back, and then you will like me. Oh, gotta go.
[Russell appears on the screen]
Russell: Hey Dug! Who you talking to?
Alpha: [the screen goes black] No, wait, wait!
Beta: What's Dug doing?
Gamma: Why's he with that small mailman?
Beta: Where are they?
[Alpha locates Dug on GPS]
Dug: There he is, come on!
[they all dart into the jungle]
Dug: Oh, please, oh, please, oh, please be my prisoner!
Russell: Dug, stop bothering Kevin!
Dug: That man there says I should take the bird...
[Kevin squacks at Dug]
Dug: ... and I love that man there like he is my master.
Carl Fredricksen: I am not your master!
Dug: I am warning you once again, bird!
Russell: Hey! Quit it!
Dug: I am jumping on you now, bird!
Carl Fredricksen: Russell, at this rate we'll never get to the falls!
Dug: Here, bird!
Carl Fredricksen: [George and A.J. walk up to Carl's door and A.J. knocks on it. Carl opens the door] Morning, gentlemen.
Nurse George: Good morning, Mr. Fredricksen. You ready to go?
Carl Fredricksen: [chuckles] Ready as I'll ever be. Would you do me a favor and take this?
[hands A.J. a suitcase]
Carl Fredricksen: I'll meet you at the van in just a minute. I, uh, wanna say one last goodbye to the old place.
Nurse George: Sure. Take all the time you need, sir.
[Carl slams his door shut]
Nurse AJ: That's typical. He's probably going to the bathroom for the 80th time.
[they start walking to their van]
Nurse George: [sees the mess of helium canisters on Carl's lawn and scoffs] You think he'd take better care of his house.
[a large shadow begins to loom up behind them. Many balloons emerge from beneath a tarp and lift Carl's house off of the ground. Both scream. Carl's house hits their van. Its alarm goes off]
Carl Fredricksen: Ah, ha ha ha! So long, boys! I'll send you a postcard from Paradise Falls!
Alpha: [In squeaky voice] Master, dinner is ready.
Charles Muntz: Oh, yes, broken collar? It's that loose wire again.
[fixes the collar]
Charles Muntz: There you go, big fella.
Alpha: [In deep, intimidating voice] Thank you, Master.
Russell: [Nervously] I liked his other voice better.
Carl Fredricksen: I believe I made my position to your boss very clear.
Construction Foreman Tom: You poured prune juice in his gas tank.
Carl Fredricksen: Yeah, that was good.
Construction Worker Steve: [directing a large construction vehicle backing up] Okay, keep her coming. Keep coming. And stop. Stop. Stop!
[it starts to run over Carl's mailbox]
Carl Fredricksen: [watching from his doorway] Why... Hey! Hey you!
[Steve sees him and runs to the mailbox]
Carl Fredricksen: What do you... What do you think you're doing?
[he shuffles quickly to his mailbox]
Construction Worker Steve: I am so sorry, sir.
[he attempts to fix Carl's mailbox]
Carl Fredricksen: Don't touch that!
Construction Worker Steve: [they fight for control of the mailbox] No, no, no. Let me take care of that for you.
Carl Fredricksen: Get away from our mailbox!
Construction Worker Steve: Hey. Sir, I...
Carl Fredricksen: I don't want you to touch it!
[he clubs Steve on the head with his cane. Blood is drawn. Carl retreats into his house, ashamed]
[Muntz had just taken Kevin, and set Carl's House on Fire, which popped some of the balloons and left it floating only inches to the ground]
Russell: You gave away Kevin. You just... gave her away.
Carl Fredricksen: This is none of my concern.
[Turns around, Furious after what happened]
Carl Fredricksen: I DIDN'T ASK FOR ANY OF THIS.
Dug: Master, it's alright.
Carl Fredricksen: I AM NOT YOUR MASTER! AND YOU DIDN'T SHOW UP, NONE OF THIS WOULDN'T HAVE HAPPENED. BAD DOG! BAD DOG! Now whether you assist me or not, I am going to Paradise Falls, if it kills me.
Russell: Oh! Mr. Fredricksen! If we happen to get separated, use the wilderness explorer call: "CA - CA! RAWRRR!"
Carl Fredricksen: [to a contractor trying to get Carl to move out] You in the suit! Yes, you! Take a bath, hippie!
Police Officer Edith: [after Carl gets back from the courtroom, at night] Sorry, Mr. Fredricksen. You don't seem like a public menace to me. Take this.
[she hands him a Shady Oaks Retirement Village brochure]
Police Officer Edith: The guys from Shady Oaks will be by to pick you up in the morning, okay?
Newsreel Announcer: [after the National Explorer's Society accuses Muntz of fabricating the "Monster of Paradise Falls" skeleton] The organization strips Muntz of his membership.
[a patch is ripped off Muntz's jacket]
Newsreel Announcer: Humiliated, Muntz vows a return to Paradise Falls and promises to capture the beast alive!
Charles Muntz: [speaking to a large audience outside in the newsreel] I promise to capture the beast alive, and I will not come back until I do!
Newsreel Announcer: Movietown News presents, "Spotlight on Adventure." What you are now witnessing is footage never before seen by civilized humanity: a lost world in South America. Lurking in the shadow of majestic Paradise Falls, it sports plants and animals undiscovered by science. Who would dare set foot on this inhospitable summit? Why, our subject today, Charles Muntz!
Charles Muntz: [Muntz notices that Russell is hanging by Carl's garden hose high in the air. He speaks into his intercom] Gray leader? Take down the house.
Russell: [still hanging on the hose] AAAAh!
[he sees three planes drop out of the blimp]
[the planes swoop in. Three dogs are piloting them]
Beta: Gray Leader, checking in.
Gamma: Gray Two, checking in.
Omega: Gray Three, checking in.
Beta: [they approach Carl's house] Target sighted.
[he chomps down on a squeaky bone. The plane fires projectiles]
Dug: I can smell you!
Carl Fredricksen: [confused] What? You can, smell us?
Dug: I can smell you!
Russell: [when Carl realizes that the "person" he's talking to is actually a rock, laughing] You were talking to a rock.
[Dug manage to outsmart Alpha]
Dog: Oh my Gosh! Alpha wears the Cone of Shame!
[Alpha struggles to get his head unstuck from Between the Steering Wheel. He also damaged his Collar while doing so]
Alpha: [Squeaky Voice] Not yet you fool! Get this thing off me!
[Alpha sits, the Other Dogs then do the same]
Dog: Yes Alpha!
Dug: Hey, I'm not Alpha. He is. Oh!
[as Carl holds onto the hose to his house, preventing it from drifting away without him and Russell in it, he urges Russell to climb up the hose and onto the porch]
Carl Fredricksen: Once you get to the Porch, find a rope, and pull me up. Got it?
[Russell strains as he tries to climb up the hose off screen, which is hard work]
Carl Fredricksen: Are you on the Porch yet?
[the scene changes to show that Russell has barely made it up an inch]
Russell: [Giving up and Exhausted] I can't do it.
Carl Fredricksen: That's it? I came all this way just to end up on the Wrong Side of this Rock Pile?
Carl Fredricksen: [Depressed] Now what am I gonna do?
Russell: I can assist you to the Falls. We could walk you house over.
Carl Fredricksen: Well, that could work.
Russell: Then when we get there, will you sign my badge?
[Carl ties ropes hanging from the house round his and Russell's waste in the Next Scene as they start to walk]
Russell: [Distracting the Dogs on the planes after having managed to finally climb up the hose onto Carl's Porch of his house floating around Muntz' Airship] Hey look, Squirrel!
[Beta, Gamma and Omega all crash into each other, destroying their planes as they activate their parachutes]
Gamma: [Slowly descending] I hate Squirrels!