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G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra
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G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra More at IMDbPro »

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442 out of 718 people found the following review useful:

The Critics should remove the Stick!

Author: serennishiyama from United States
9 August 2009

I just saw G.I. Joe, and I must say that I actually enjoyed it. This is NOT a masterpiece. This is a fun, Summer action flick. The so-called professional critics who obviously miss that point do not deserve their cushy jobs. The action is unbelievable, non-stop, breathless, and requires a total suspension of disbelief. The critics that have a problem with that should remember one thing. This is a movie based on a cartoon that's sole purpose was to sell a set of toys to 5-12 year old boys. Nothing more. Expecting "War and Peace" from this source material shows a lack of insight and intelligence from most of the reviews that I have read. If you like action films, you will enjoy this one. If you want angst-ridden characters stopping every five minutes to discuss their feelings... pull the stick out and move along to a sappy low-budget romance; this isn't your kind of film.

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383 out of 630 people found the following review useful:

$170 budget and not one writer

Author: Matt Schafer from United States
10 August 2009

I came in with low expectations and got even less. I'm kind of offended that someone got paid to write this because its essentially a big-budget movie made with a fan-fiction caliber script. The plot riddled with holes, characters speak in clichés and the laws of physics are completely ignored. The female characters are treated with the action-movie standard sexism, and there are some subtle racist undertones as well. Seriously, 12-year-old boys write text messages that are more coherent than this script. The screen writers should use their payday to refund the tickets of everyone who went to see this movie.

I'm okay with going a movie just for the special effects, but even that is sub-par. The martial arts choreography is good, and stunning in one scene. The practical effects are believable, but the computer graphics are mostly cartoonish and detract from the visual impact of the film, so its hard to say go see it even if your standard for a good movie is if they blow stuff up in new and interesting ways.

I did enjoy the sheer audacity of its failure. Surely the filmmakers had watched even one movie before and knew they had a piece of Star Wars/James Bond ripoff fan fiction on their hands and just tried to be as bad as possible. This movie has a lot of laughs in it, although probably not where the filmmakers intended.

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299 out of 493 people found the following review useful:

Good for what it is

Author: Filmaholic78 from United Kingdom
6 August 2009

I watched this film last night and luckily I had no high expectations. As a fan of the G.I Joe toys when I was a kid (back then they where called Action Force) I had a good idea of the characters and story before hand. I am glad to say this film stayed true to most of the original concepts with a few tweaks for the better here and there.

Go see this film if you want to see a fun action film full of special effects and doesn't take itself too seriously.

Don't go and see this film if you are an uptight, unhappy film critic that spends too much time highlighting plot holes and acting because that's not what this film is about. It's more of a roller-coaster ride. Fast, furious and just fun.

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146 out of 236 people found the following review useful:

There's a reason for the strict release to critics by paramount...

Author: Tyler G from Ann Arbor
7 August 2009

*** This review may contain spoilers ***

Oh my god.

First of all, and most importantly, I have nothing against a FUN, entertaining movie. But the only entertainment in the movie was how painful it was at times.

Acting: 2/10 Terrible. A fellow moviegoer commented that "You know it was a failure when one of the Wayans brothers was the best piece of acting" It was bad. Dennis Quaid was plain boring. He looked like he was having no fun.

Screenplay 1/10 HOW IN HOLY HELL DID THEY GET THIS APPROVED?!! All the memorable lines were the most terrible ones that everyone in the theater laughed at. It felt like a really bad TV show. The end of the movie was WAY more epic than it was supposed to be for a summer action blockbuster. Not intelligent, not funny, and not cohesive whatsoever. The setting changed about every 15 minutes, going all over the world. And brace yourself stereotypical, cheesy, predictable romance too.

Special Effects/Editing 3/10 Some of the obvious fully computer rendered scenes looked worse than the old star wars flicks. (The polar bear moment and the planes flying over the pyramids made many laugh) Other scenes, such as the Paris action looked good. Way too many explosions, even more than Michael Bay would want. The editing cut to different shots faster than any action movie I've ever seen. There were plenty of "What the hell just happened?" moments.

Its a big G.I BLOW Unfortunately.

For more info:

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193 out of 331 people found the following review useful:

Had Low Expectations. Loved The Movie!

Author: RAGE_uv_Fire_79 ( from Oklahoma, USA
11 August 2009

OK, I had almost every GI Joe toy growing up. I also watched the cartoon. Being a young kid during the 80's was awesome. As far as I am concerned, the toys and the cartoons from that era are the best. However, after first seeing the preview for GI Joe, and seeing that they now wore mech suits...... I had very low expectations for the movie. Just figured they were trying yet another way to milk money off of the remainder of 80's cartoons/ re-imaging.

However, I have to say, even though there was a little cheesiness to it, I really enjoyed this movie. This movie is based off a toy/cartoon/comic book. It isn't like other comics that could be deep, or thought provoking. It was always mainly about action, cool weapons, good guys and bad guys, getting caught and then escaping. This movie is just that. A action movie from start to finish. Has enough of a storyline to make it from beginning to end, but is mainly about the action. It doesn't give you a lot of back story to the characters. You do get a couple flashbacks, just so you know who people are, and how they are connected. But this isn't really an origins movie. I think some people were expecting some kind of epic movie experience. This movie is not that! This is a popcorn/ summer action movie/ and a way to relive some childhood memories for those of us who grew up watching the cartoon, or playing with the toys.

For those of you complaining about plot holes, and/or unbelievable science......... come on!!! What about the original cartoons was so believable??? This is fantasy!!!

I will admit though, although I did like the movie, some of the special effects were not that good. There were a few times during the movie where I saw something that just looked too fake, and I was like ... "that is just cheesy". But overall, it was a fun movie. Definitely not one I regret going to see.

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92 out of 138 people found the following review useful:

Does contains spoilers, but please read because it'll save you money.

Author: jacobsevanes from Netherlands
15 August 2009

*** This review may contain spoilers ***

Bad expectations, movie even worse.

I went to see this movie because a friend of mine really wanted to go there and I thought: why not, I didn't hate transformers 2 (although it wasn't really good), and I had seen the trailer with the Eiffel Tower scene which looks pretty amazing. The rest of the film was pretty amazing too. But not amazing in a good way. I just couldn't believe how bad it was. I am actually still amazed as hell. The story is so crappy that I think I could write a thousand stories which are better. Here is a series of 'highlights'. It all starts in the Middle Ages, where some weapon maker is being punished for selling weapons to both sides. This has almost nothing to do with the film except that the weapon maker is an ancestor of a really bad guy in the movie. Then there is a transport of very high tech rockets which are almost stolen by some guys with really high tech weapons, but some other guys with high tech weapons come to the rescue. (indeed, every weapon in the movie is high tech, like year 3009 high tech). The rescue guys appear to be a special forces team called G.I. Joe. The surviving guys from the transport really like to join the team, but they need to be trained first. At the end of the first day of training they are almost scoring highest in the history of the team, so they are done. Right. Then the bad guys come in and steal the rockets. This time they succeed so the G.I. Joes need to get them back. This results in some really good action scenes including the Eiffel Tower coming down. It all looks really realistic. But after this it's only down the hill. The bad guys seem to have built a base under the polar ice, the size of a little city. Somehow no one ever noticed something happening there. Or everyone knew but just didn't inform G.I. Joe. By the way: it actually wasn't really cold out there somehow, because a lot of people didn't wear special clothes while walking around on the ice and it didn't seem to bother them at all. Or the actors just didn't know how to act like it was cold. That is possible because none of the actors was really looking like he/she cared a lot. Marlon Wayans was probably the least bad while he wasn't even funny. I think that says enough. The polar base is destroyed after a fight won by the good guys and because of the explosions the polar ice sinks together with the base. Yes, dear readers, the ice sinks. So alls well that ends well. oh, first one of the good guys needs to take down some rockets the bad guys managed to shoot just before the base was destroyed. Somehow the rockets can only be taken out by a supersonic plane that can only be controlled by speaking Celtic, which one of members of G.I.Joe happens to speak. So actually it's not really a problem, I think. Maybe it is a problem, I don't know, but it just doesn't make sense. Nothing in the whole script makes any sense. I still don't believe it. I'm sorry guys, it's overwhelming me. I need to stop writing or I'll start crying or worse. Just remember: don't watch the movie!

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153 out of 261 people found the following review useful:

Delivers exactly what it promises and that's the point.

Author: Janne Kainulainen (ichabod81) from Finland
29 August 2009

Please, take note that I rated this film 8 only because of it's value as an action film, but that's exactly the point I came here to get across. Everybody seems to have the same argument when they trash this film.. "it's all effects and no brains or dramatic undertones". OK, that is true, I've got to admit, but then again what kind of movie were these people actually expecting to see? Huh?!

G.I. Joe is as pure as an action film can possibly be and most importantly, it doesn't pretend to be anything else. Look at the poster. Check out the trailer. After those, were you perhaps waiting to see an Ingmar Bergman film? IT'S G.I. JOE, for Christ's sake! And I must say that in it's category, it isn't that bad. Sommers can direct good action sequences (the pursuit on the streets of Paris is stunning!) and although the film is obviously overblown with ridiculous gadgets and over the top plot lines, it doesn't matter because Joe succeeds in it's ONLY primary mission: to be entertaining. It's never boring and it's the silly fun it was always going to be.

So in a nutshell.. if you want a serious film to watch, check out There Will Be Blood or Doubt, but if you just want to forget for two hours the mess your leaders have left your nation, nay, the *world* and just have fun, check out this action film. Thank you.

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82 out of 132 people found the following review useful:

Fun movie - not even close to realistic, but fun.

Author: faija-1 from Finland
14 September 2009

Let me first say that I knew absolutely nothing about the GI Joe franchise except that they were (are?) toys. But that did not hinder me from enjoying this movie.

What do you get if you mix a few parts James Bond, a few parts Transformers and a few parts Star Wars? Well, you get G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra! Basically, if you like the aforementioned movies you will probably enjoy this one. Things explode constantly, shiny things glimmer past the screen and hot chicks in tight outfits show up now and then.

If you are the type who crave realism in your movies then do not - I repeat, do not see this one. Realism does not even come within shooting distance of this movie. But if you can enjoy a popcorn summer movie then this is not a bad way to spend an afternoon.

And yes - there is a Wayans brother in this, but strangely enough, he did not annoy me...

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163 out of 300 people found the following review useful:

Ordinary popcorn movie

Author: dobbin-4 from Australia
5 August 2009

This movie may have a questionable script, some sub-par actors (Some were surprisingly good for a popcorn movie which is applaudable) and some Team America style action (They seemed to cause a lot more damage to Paris then the terrorists plan to) but the film can not help but be entertaining. It has what Transformers 2 had which was good special effects, but what Transformers 2 lacked was entertainment which this movie definitely has, even if it is n't a very good movie from a movie point of view.

While lots of people and critics alike are going to bag the hell out of this film, I think as long as you go in with an open mind a low expectancy of the movie to hold any sort of realism you will have a pretty good time, which is really the reason the film was made (After the money of course).

Overall, this film is a good watch for non fans of the series at least but, not having seen the cartoon I cant speak for existing fans of G.I. Joe but I had a good time, and I think a lot of other people will 2 as long as they can maintain an open mind.

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104 out of 183 people found the following review useful:

this has to be one of the worst films I have ever watched

Author: Alan Mann from United Kingdom
6 August 2009

*** This review may contain spoilers ***

it was far far too long, the only good part was in Paris when they wore the suits (basically from the TV trailers), an unusually silly film that I would honestly recommend anyone to wait until it appears on DVD or better to save your money and await T.V. in 3 years. I'm trying to put into words how bad this film was and it's difficult... . honestly... . I was just hoping it would end very soon and throughout thought more about writing a comment on IMDb during the presentation as opposed to trying my hardest to enjoy it, if you had to live your life in Hell, this film would only have to do a Groundhog Day and you will then know what true torture is. Sienna Miller is useless, Christopher Eccleston from Salford gives the worst Scottish accent ever (I think he must have watched Braveheart many times over and asked Mr Gibson for some help). Dennis Quaid is... . terrible! it must be the worst part he's ever played, by the looks of things on this film he came right out the back end of Martin Short and planted himself in this massive black hole of an enigma. the only thing that got me at the end was Snake Eyes did not speak, wow that totally shook me up!

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