Dean Martin: "Alexis Carrington is a classic and so, dear lady, are you'
After a hiatus of five years, there would be three final 'Dean Martin Celebrity Roasts' in 1984, for Joan Collins, Michael Landon, and Mr. T. Her current series DYNASTY all the rage, Joan Collins is a fitting subject to be 'Woman of the Year,' with appearances from her producer, Aaron Spelling, and co-star, John Forsythe: "I'm defending a woman who would be much more fun to attack!" Don Rickles gets ribbed by Milton Berle: "Don Rickles is to comedy what Orson Welles is to pole vaulting!" Angie Dickinson talks about Joan's recent layout for Playboy (at age 50), introducing Charlie Callas as a photographer, demonstrating some of the poses that go with the pictures. Dom DeLuise appears as a screenwriter to tell why Joan's latest picture was X-rated: "it features all of her ex-husbands!" THE LOVE BOAT's Gavin MacLeod reveals how Joan is received all over the world: "At the Virgin Islands, she was treated like a total stranger!" Beatrice Arthur on Joan's recently going to confession: "and was held over three weeks!" Red Buttons, discussing what Captain Hook's mother said to little Hook: "for God's sake, don't scratch it!" Anne Baxter, a year before she died, relishing the chance to play bad girls over virtuous ones: "evil spelled backwards is live!" Phyllis Diller: "she was 21 before she discovered cars had front seats!" Zsa Zsa Gabor, offering advice about having sex before marriage: "before the wedding or after, but not during the ceremony!" And Rich Little wondering what Joan's former husband Anthony Newley must think of her recent success: "What Kind of Fool Am I?"
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