Lt. Randall Disher: [Captain Stottlemeyer tells Randy to look into a 14 years old murder case] It wasn't my case.
Captain Leland Stottlemeyer: Excuse me, what did... Did you just say it wasn't your case?
Lt. Randall Disher: No Sir! I said your cousin has a face.
Adrian Monk: You should have seen him at that hearing. Staring at me, he hates me. At least we have that in common.
Natalie Teeger: Mr. Monk, I'm kinda of choosey about who I make out with.
Adrian Monk: What? You made out with a leper!
Natalie Teeger: That's different. You sent him to prison, why don't you make out with him?
Natalie Teeger: Mr. Monk, I don't think he wants your help.
Adrian Monk: How do you know?
Natalie Teeger: Well, the "curl up and die" thing was kind of a hint.
Adrian Monk: This is a bad, bad, bad man. Sherry, I made a mistake, and then I compounded the mistake. Don't you make the same mistake, by compounding... my other... mistake... my first...
Lt. Randall Disher: [repeated throughout the episode] It wasn't me!
Adrian Monk: [handing Max a box] All right, Max, this is for you... Ah, it's... it's a little something.
Max Barton: Yeah? Fourteen years of my life in there.
Adrian Monk: No, just mostly caramels.
Natalie Teeger: Pretzel.
Adrian Monk: And a chocolate pretzel.