| Photos (See all 36 | slideshow) |
| Eugene Hutz | ... | A.K. | |
| Holly Weston | ... | Holly | |
| Vicky McClure | ... | Juliette | |
| Richard E. Grant | ... | Professor Flynn | |
| Inder Manocha | ... | Sardeep | |
| Elliot Levey | ... | Business Man | |
| Francesca Kingdon | ... | Francine | |
| Clare Wilkie | ... | Chloe | |
| Stephen Graham | ... | Harry Beechman | |
| Hannah Walters | ... | Business Man's Wife | |
| Shobu Kapoor | ... | Sardeep's Wife | |
| Ade | ... | DJ | |
| Guy Henry | ... | Lorcan O'Niell | |
| Nunzio Palmara | ... | Nunzio | |
| George Keeler | ... | Frail Man | |
| Tim Wallers | ... | Mr. Frisk | |
| Olegar Fedoro | ... | A.K.'s Father (as Olegar Fedorov) | |
| Luca Surguladze | ... | Young A.K. | |
| Steve Allen | ... | Mikey | |
| Shakeel Orr-Deen | ... | Sardeep's Child 1 (as Shakeel Orr-Dean) | |
| Anya Chowdhry | ... | Sardeep's Child 2 | |
| Harley Sobraj | ... | Sardeep's Child 3 | |
| Iman Muneer | ... | Sardeep's Child 4 | |
| Yasmin Muneer | ... | Sardeep's Child 5 | |
| Amar Thethi | ... | Sardeep's Child 6 | |
| Mickey Drameh | ... | Beechman's Club Owner | |
| Tracey Simmonds | ... | Pole Dancer | |
| William Musyk | ... | Club Owner | |
| Marina Baldewnkova | ... | Club Owner Girlfriend | |
| Eliot Ferguson | ... | Gogol Bordello: Drums | |
| Roland Price | ... | Ballet Teacher | |
| Elizabeth Sun | ... | Gogol Bordello: Percussion / Dancer | |
| Shawn Holmes | ... | Pianist | |
| Evgeny Nikolaev | ... | Gogol Bordello: Vocals | |
| Oren Kaplan | ... | Gogol Bordello: Guitar | |
| Pamela Racine | ... | Gogol Bordello: Percussion / Dancer | |
| Sergei Ryabtsev | ... | Gogol Bordello: Violin (as Sergey Ryabtsev) | |
| Yuri Lemeshev | ... | Gogol Bordello: Accordion (as Yury Lemeshev) | |
| Thomas Gobena | ... | Gogol Bordello: Bass | |
| Lorea Hernandez | ... | Ballet Dancer | |
| Maria Irisarri | ... | Ballet Dancer | |
| Nouska Hanly | ... | Ballet Dancer | |
| Ivan Putrov | ... | Ballet Dancer | |
| Layla Harrison | ... | Ballet Dancer | |
| T. Rene | ... | Ballet Dancer | |
| Fiona Robertson | ... | Ballet Dancer | |
| Jolice Truter | ... | Ballet Dancer | |
| Amber Doyle | ... | Ballet Dancer | |
| Lauren Adams | ... | Ballet Dancer | |
| Penelope Sharp | ... | Ballet Dancer | |
| Caroline Crawley | ... | Ballet Dancer | |
| Claire Anne Elliott | ... | Ballet Dancer | |
| Julien Roussel | ... | Ballet Dancer | |
| Benjamin Ord | ... | Ballet Dancer | |
| Fiona Jopp | ... | Ballet Dancer | |
| Olivia Jenkins | ... | Ballet Dancer | |
| Elena Poris | ... | Ballet Dancer | |
| Heather Craig | ... | Ballet Dancer | |
| Mayumi Yoshida | ... | Ballet Dancer | |
| David Murley | ... | Ballet Dancer | |
| Danibelle Bryce | ... | Ballet Dancer | |
| Luana Nalah | ... | Ballet Dancer | |
| Angela Harding | ... | Ballet Dancer | |
| Lucy Dean | ... | Ballet Dancer | |
| Rebecca Emmett | ... | Ballet Dancer | |
| Elena Buda | ... | Ballet Dancer (as Elena Hardy) | |
| Katrina Hawkins | ... | Ballet Dancer | |
| Joanna Woodliffe | ... | Ballet Dancer |
Directed by | |||
| Madonna | |||
Writing credits | ||
| Madonna | (written by) & | |
| Dan Cadan | (written by) | |
Produced by | |||
| Angela Becker | .... | associate producer | |
| Nicola Doring | .... | producer | |
| Madonna | .... | executive producer | |
Cinematography by | |||
| Tim Maurice-Jones | (director of photography) (as Tim Maurice Jones) | ||
Casting by | |||
| Daniel Hubbard | |||
Production Design by | |||
| Gideon Ponte | |||
Costume Design by | |||
| B. Akerlund | (as B) | ||
Makeup Department | |||
| Dejan Cekanovic | .... | hair stylist | |
| Irene Christophis | .... | assistant makeup artist | |
| Sinden Dean | .... | makeup designer | |
| Vesna Giordano | .... | prosthetic makeup artist | |
| Randolph Gray | .... | assistant hair stylist | |
| Yin Lee | .... | makeup assistant: additional photography | |
| Melanie Szabo | .... | assistant makeup artist (as Melanie 'Mel' Szabo) | |
| Koji Takayanagi | .... | hair assistant: additional photography | |
| Franco Vallelonga | .... | assistant hair stylist | |
| Xabier | .... | makeup assistant: additional photography | |
Production Management | |||
| Sue Hiller | .... | unit production manager | |
Second Unit Director or Assistant Director | |||
| Tony Fernandes | .... | first assistant director | |
| Ben Howard | .... | second assistant director | |
| Andrew Mannion | .... | third assistant director | |
Art Department | |||
| Rob Anderson | .... | construction coordinator | |
Sound Department | |||
| Simon Bysshe | .... | additional boom operator | |
| Paul Carter | .... | sound effects editor | |
| Matthew Collinge | .... | supervising sound editor | |
| Sebastian Dale | .... | assistant sound effects editor | |
| Arthur Fenn | .... | boom operator | |
| Ben Greaves | .... | additional production sound mixer | |
| Mike Hasler | .... | boom operator | |
| Simon Hayes | .... | production sound mixer | |
| Robin Johnson | .... | boom operator | |
| Michael Maroussas | .... | dialogue editor | |
| Adam Mendez | .... | sound re-recording mixer | |
| James Seddon | .... | dolby consultant | |
| Danny Sheehan | .... | supervising sound editor | |
| Tim Surrey | .... | sound assistant | |
Special Effects by | |||
| Vesna Giordano | .... | special effects makeup | |
Visual Effects by | |||
| Ellora Chowdhury | .... | telecine producer | |
| James Cundill | .... | online editor | |
| Jean-Clement Soret | .... | digital colourist | |
| Pat Wintersgill | .... | on-line editor | |
Camera and Electrical Department | |||
| Tash Gamper | .... | first assistant camera | |
| Guy Hazel | .... | focus puller | |
| Mark Packman | .... | electrician | |
| Dominic Rau | .... | key video assist | |
| Gary Varney | .... | gaffer | |
| Peter Wignall | .... | camera operator | |
Casting Department | |||
| Kay Gannon | .... | extras casting | |
Costume and Wardrobe Department | |||
| Alison McLaughlin | .... | costume supervisor | |
Editorial Department | |||
| Chris Andrews | .... | negative cutter | |
| Sabine McDonald | .... | negative cutter | |
| Kelly Smith | .... | negative cutter | |
Transportation Department | |||
| Guy Bostock | .... | picture car coordinator | |
| Mickey Gocool | .... | driver: minibus | |
Other crew | |||
| Claudia Cimmino | .... | production coordinator | |
| Tim Davies | .... | assistant location manager | |
| Denise Furano | .... | assistant: M | |
| Karen Gottlieb | .... | production attorney | |
| Keith Hatcher | .... | location manager | |
| Tee Lapan | .... | production coordinator | |
| Jamie Lengyel | .... | location manager: additional photography | |
| Elliott Meddings | .... | assistant location manager | |
| Chris Morgan | .... | location scout | |
| Tiffany Olson | .... | choreographer | |
| Angie Pontefract | .... | script supervisor | |
| Winston Thomas | .... | security: Madonna | |
|
|
|
|
|
| Love Actually | American Wedding | Eyes Wide Shut | Mr. & Mrs. Smith | Dancing at the Blue Iguana |
|
IMDb User Rating: |
IMDb User Rating: |
IMDb User Rating: |
IMDb User Rating: |
IMDb User Rating: |
| Full cast and crew | Company credits | External reviews |
| News articles | IMDb Comedy section | IMDb UK section |
OK, so let me just say that I came into this as a huge fan of Eugene Hutz and Gogol Bordello and while I don't enjoy her music, I like Madonna's persona and was very excited to see the film.
On the upside, this movie did have some interesting ideas on, well... filth and wisdom, sex work and art. Unfortunately, the story-telling vehicle meant to get us to these ideas was so appalling that Mr. Hutz had to narrate them to us fairly explicitly. For ideas to work in a film WITHOUT an engrossing storyline, those ideas better be pretty profound (which these aren't) otherwise it just looks like the amateurish work of an angsty teen (which this did).
To make it all the more disappointing, the character set ups were GOOD. I wanted to like and know about each of the three protagonists and their relationships to each other. Unfortunately, everything goes downhill after we meet them. Their back stories are only hinted at, their motives and personalities one-dimensional and their stated relationships lacked the slightest chemistry. The secondary characters were worse.
So, what happened and who do we hold accountable for ruining this film? Someone was handed a great cast to play exciting characters, a nice little premise and some passable thematic ideas and yet it bombed. The real achievement of this film is that it managed to be as unwatchable as it was. The only real reason to sit through this pile is for the the sheer erotic thrill of seeing Eugene Hutz as a male dominatrix, and if that doesn't get you rocks off, then I'd just skip it all together.