The Bounty Hunter (I) (2010)
[calling Milo from inside his car's trunk]
Nicole Hurley: Milo, please, you have got to let me out of here.
Milo Boyd: Hmm... nope!
Nicole Hurley: All right, I shouldn't have run away, you just caught me off guard. And the truth is, I think I might need your advice on something.
Milo Boyd: Well, that's a real shame. Because I wouldn't help you if you were the last baby sea turtle dragging your little, tiny body across the burning sand whilst hungry seagulls circled overhead. No, I'd just pull up a chair, sip a pina colada and watch nature take its course.
[Nicole is calling Milo from inside his trunk]
Milo Boyd: Nic... Nicole?
Nicole Hurley: [crying] Please stop...
Milo Boyd: Hey, remember how we used to be in love?
Nicole Hurley: [still crying] Yeah.
Milo Boyd: Well, that means I know when you're crying for real, and when you're faking it! Bye-bye!
[laughs and hangs up]
Nicole Hurley: Oh! God, Milo!
[she pounds on the trunk with her fists]
Milo Boyd: [laughing] Oh, God... so good.
Sid: All I know is, I'm out 50,000 if she's not in that courtroom Monday morning.
Milo Boyd: Wait, you're telling me that I'll get five grand to go pick up my ex-wife and bring her to jail?
Sid: You're a good listener.
[Milo laughs and dances for joy]
Milo Boyd: Ah, using your one phone call to phone in a story. That is so you.
Nicole Hurley: [surprised look] What are you doing here?
Milo Boyd: Hey, it's a special night. There's no way we're not spending it together. Hey, can we go in the same cell?
Cop: Get in the cell, dickhead.
Milo Boyd: [being pushed] All right, I'm going.
Nicole Hurley: Why do people do that?
Milo Boyd: Why do people do what?
Nicole Hurley: Deny that they've ever done anything wrong in the relationship - why can't people take responsibility for their shit and move on?
Nicole Hurley: Can't we talk about this?
Milo Boyd: Fine. What do you want to say?
Nicole Hurley: [after a pause] I am not letting you take me to jail.
Milo Boyd: Duly noted. Let's go.
[scoops her over his shoulder]
Milo Boyd: Are you trying to seduce me?
Nicole Hurley: Yeah.
Milo Boyd: What's the hottest thing about me? That would be my gun.
[Milo dumps Nicole in his trunk]
Nicole Hurley: No, you have got to be kidding! You cannot be putting me in the trunk! You cannot be seri-!
Milo Boyd: [shuts the trunk] I'm dead "seri"!
Bobby: [Learning Nicole thought he was corrupt] Are you kidding? I walked you down the godamn isle!
Milo Boyd: You see, what I do is, I hunt down criminals. Idiots who jump bail, specifically.
Nicole Hurley: [laughing] You are a bounty hunter?
Milo Boyd: Yeah. And much as it pains me to say this, and it really does, I gotta take you to jail.
[as Nicole heads for a row of taxis, Milo draws his gun]
Nicole Hurley: Oh, what? You're gonna shoot me?
Milo Boyd: Nope.
[levels the gun]
Milo Boyd: I'm gonna shoot a cab driver.
Nicole Hurley: [seeing all the cab drivers locking their doors] Oh, no, no, no, he doesn't mean it!
Milo Boyd: Yep, I mean it.
Nicole Hurley: [banging on the cab drivers' doors, without response] Ah, chicken shits!
Milo Boyd: You're not gonna shoot another cop are ya?
Earl Mahler: I'm the only cop here
Milo Boyd: Now that's just hurtful