- Devil: Great job with the arsonist. Who's the hero, huh? You're the hero, man. Pat yourself on the back, and I have a present for you, for the next fugitive.
- Sam: So I have to do this forever?
- Devil: Well, I mean, technically, not forever. You're done when you die. Right?
- [Laughs]
- Sam: You're such a dick.
- Devil: Yes, I know.
- Sam's dad: There's something I... I have to tell you. I, uh, I probably should have told you this a long time ago. I, uh... Before you were born, your Mom and I... sold your soul to the Devil.
- Bert 'Sock' Wysocki: Ben would want eyebrows, and he would want us to give them to him. Say yes. Just do it.
- Bert 'Sock' Wysocki: Yes! Yes, bi-atch! You are Neo, you're The One! Eat it, Heatmiester! Oh, I have never been so attracted to a man in my life. I, that's not what I meant. Um.