Jenny Humphrey: [encouraging Dan to talk to Serena] You have nothing to lose.
Dan Humphrey: No, nothing except my last shred of dignity.
Jenny Humphrey: Oh no, I think that's gone.
Chuck Bass: [furious] What are you doing here?
Dan Humphrey: [trying to be cool] Why, what is this? Your hotel?
Nate Archibald: Actually, it is.
Bart Bass: The invitation says black tie, not black eye.
Gossip Girl: [voice-over] Some people might call this a fluster cluck. On the Upper East Side, we call it Sunday afternoon.
Blair Waldorf: What's that?
Chuck Bass: The key to my suite, Nate's heart, and your future happiness.
Chuck Bass: [to Blair] I'm honored to be playing even a small role in your deflowering.
Blair Waldorf: [to Serena] I must have totally blanked on the part where I invited you over.
Blair Waldorf: Serena had better just stay away. Thank you Dorota.
Kati: Yeah thanks. We love sleeping at Blair's.
Blair Waldorf: I don't wanna see Serena at school and she better not show up at bruch today.
Kati: Your really mad at Serena.
Isabel: Yeah I hope you never get mad at us.
Blair Waldorf: Well you would never do what Serena did.
Kati: No never.
Isabel: Of course not.
Blair Waldorf: Dan? Hi I'm Blair Waldorf, Serena's friend.
Dan Humphrey: Oh, hey yeah do you happen to know where she is?
Blair Waldorf: As a matter of fact I do.
Serena van der Woodsen: Blair.
Dan Humphrey: Serena there you are, where were you?
Blair Waldorf: She was waiting in a hotel room, for my boyfriend.
Serena van der Woodsen: To talk.
Nate Archibald: About why we weren't talking.
Blair Waldorf: That doesn't sound any smarter the second time.
Dan Humphrey: Why weren't you talking?
Dan Humphrey: Does this have anything to do with why you were waiting for Serena this morning?
Blair Waldorf: You were what?
Chuck Bass: And here I thought you were waiting for me.
Dan Humphrey: Oh exactly what this situation needs, Chuck.
Dan Humphrey: Now what is going on here?
Blair Waldorf: We were just getting to that.
Serena van der Woodsen: Blair please. Don't do this.
Blair Waldorf: Sorry. Do you, wanna tell him?
Chuck Bass: I'll tell him.
Chuck Bass: I know everthing.
Dan Humphrey: And apparently I know nothing.
Serena van der Woodsen: Look Dan, it, it was a long time ago and I regret it but...
Chuck Bass: Serena stop trying to pretend like your a good girl. So you slept with your best friend's boyfriend, I kind of admire you for it.
Dan Humphrey: Is that true?
Blair Waldorf: Well, then she ran away and lied about it. I just thought you should know before you fall head over heels for your perfect girl in her perfect world and then get left all alone but no one but your cabbage patch kid.
Gossip Girl: [voice-over] Serena's visit was short and apparently not very sweet. But you know what is? Revenge. We hear it's best served cold. Who's hungry?
Bart Bass: The invitation said 'black tie', not 'black eye'.
Blair Waldorf: Chuck likes to brag about his conquests, not his victims.
Chuck Bass: [to Serena] So I guess it's just you and me. Appparently my rooms available.
Gossip Girl: [voice-over] Breakfast is brunch, and it comes with champagne, a dress code and a hundred of our closest friends... and enemies.
Dan Humphrey: [the morning after his date with Serena] I've waited my entire adolescent life for a date with this girl and I decide to close the evening with a wave.
Blair Waldorf: [trying to hide her scheming face] It would be so wrong for me to show up without my boyfriend whom I love, and who loves me.
Dan Humphrey: [to Lily van der Woodsen] I hope you've had a pleasant, uh...
[checking his watch]
Dan Humphrey: 21 hours since I last saw you.
Gossip Girl: [voice-over] Looks like Chuck and Blair showed up with quite an appetite. For destruction, that is.
Serena van der Woodsen: [telling Eric about her date with Dan] He hated me.
Eric van der Woodsen: No guy in the history of the world has ever hated you.
Dan Humphrey: [waiting for Serena in the hotel lobby] She probably won't be that long, right?
Concierge: Once she went out and didn't come home for six months, but feel free to sit.
Chuck Bass: [to Serena] So I guess it's just you and me. Apparently my rooms available.
Chuck Bass: I'm honored to be playing even a small role in your deflowering.
Blair Waldorf: You're disgusting.
Chuck Bass: Yes I am, so why be shy? Report back with details.
Blair Waldorf: What is she doing here?
Serena van der Woodsen: I was meeting Nate.
Nate Archibald: Just to talk I swear.
Blair Waldorf: You said you'd never speak to her again.
Serena van der Woodsen: You said that? Why would you say that?
Blair Waldorf: Because you can't be trusted.
Nate Archibald: It's not Serena's fault.
Blair Waldorf: Do not defend her.
Nate Archibald: I asked her to come.
Blair Waldorf: Oh, oh so you do wanna talk to her.
Nate Archibald: Yes, to explain why I'm not talking to her.
Blair Waldorf: Maybe I'll leave you two to finish that fascinating conversation.
Serena van der Woodsen: Oh, no no I'll go. Let you guys get back your quickie.
Blair Waldorf: It wasn't a quickie. Sex is actually kind of a big deal to some of us.
Serena van der Woodsen: Oh yeah I can see that. Chuck's bed, very romantic, classy too.
Blair Waldorf: Oh, like you. I bet your new friend Dan would love to hear about how classy you are.
Serena van der Woodsen: Dan but...?
Serena van der Woodsen: What you really think she would tell him?
Nate Archibald: It's Blair.
Serena van der Woodsen: I can't believe you told her.
Nate Archibald: You just expected me to keep it a secret?
Serena van der Woodsen: Yes Nate! There's nothing wrong with keeping a secret if the truth is gonna hurt someone.
Nate Archibald: That's a hell of a way to look at things.
Serena van der Woodsen: Oh, I'm sorry I didn't realize all of the sudden your the most honest guy on the planet.
Serena van der Woodsen: Blair? Hey.
Blair Waldorf: Serena.
Serena van der Woodsen: Hey I got two bone dry capps and Audrey.
Blair Waldorf: I must have totally blanked on the part where I invited you over.
Serena van der Woodsen: I, I called you. Blair it's Sunday morning. Coffee, croissants, Breakfast at Tiffany's - it's our tradition.
Blair Waldorf: Well I have new traditions now.
Serena van der Woodsen: Well their not traditions if they're new.
Serena van der Woodsen: Look, Blair I'm really trying to make an effort here. I thought everything was good between us.
Blair Waldorf: It was - before I found out you had sex with my boyfriend.
Serena van der Woodsen: How'd you find out?
Blair Waldorf: Nate told me. At least he felt he owed me to tell the truth.
Serena van der Woodsen: I don't know what to say.
Blair Waldorf: Don't bother saying anything. I wouldn't believe you anyway.
Serena van der Woodsen: Blair...
Blair Waldorf: You know, I always knew you were a whore. I never took you for a liar too.
Serena van der Woodsen: Blair how can I fix this?
Blair Waldorf: You don't Serena. You just stay away. From me, my boyfriend, and my friends. Your done here.